Tell me No! ( to buying big house)

caprikid1

"Spend the extra money on experiences. 40-50 years from now your kids and maybe grandkids will remember the wonderful holidays (after covid) the nice restaurants and trips shopping/to the theatre/to sports events etc than an extra living room or bedroom."
To counter that, living in a large Georgian detached house in the country with views of fields, walks through woods out the front door, small friendly local pub, fields of snow when it snows. We get experiences every day not just once a year.... We do have enough left over for nice holidays but experiences happen every day not just for one or two weeks of the year.

youth_leader

I regret our choice to buy a huge house, we spent all of our money on the mortgage/renovations.   I feel our kids missed out on years of family holidays because we spent the money on a new bathroom/kitchen etc - by the time we'd finished they didn't want to go on holiday with us. In the end, memories are more important than material possessions.

Okydoky25

I few years ago I moved from a lovely little 2 Bed Semi into a large 4 Bed detached. I’ve spent those years wanting to downsize. 

Yes I have a beautiful house. My mortgage payments and bills also leave plenty left over now due to increased salaries etc since purchasing the house but I still can’t shake the feeling that the house is 2 big. 2 kids 9 & 10 who lets face it won’t live here forever. We spend a stupid amount of our time and effort on DIY & keeping the garden smart even now after it has been completely renovated. I also hate cleaning it. It’s constant, every little thing left out makes the large spaces look messy. As a SAHM I should have plenty of time to do it but who wants to spend all day cleaning?! 

Thrugelmir

Save the spare money for a while. Why burden yourselves with a huge debt? 

warby68

We wanted to be detached as a pretty high priority so were looking to  make  the next move from the start.
That meant building equity so the 'big' move had a decent deposit and therefore cheaper mortgage rates and a stake big enough to take to something else, albeit smaller, if it all went pear shaped.
However, it looks like you've perhaps spent a fair bit on the current house instead and thus are only looking at 10/15% deposit for the 'big' house and a very hefty mortgage plus bills uplift.
You already have the bedrooms you need for your family so I might be tempted to have a real push at paying the mortgage down for a year or two, see how you like living on much lower disposable and get yourselves a bigger deposit together if you still fancy the idea. People are paying mortgages until much later ages now and many or not getting started until 40 or so so you probably have a while longer before its now or never.

Greymug

If you never go, you never know.

Yes it's a big commitment but it's not a life sentence. If you go for it and regret it, you can downsize as needed. The sooner you find out and the better it is, so I'd go for it in a heart bit.

couriervanman

youth_leader said:

I regret our choice to buy a huge house, we spent all of our money on the mortgage/renovations.   I feel our kids missed out on years of family holidays because we spent the money on a new bathroom/kitchen etc - by the time we'd finished they didn't want to go on holiday with us. In the end, memories are more important than material possessions.

Thrugelmir said:

Save the spare money for a while. Why burden yourselves with a huge debt? 

Or stay where are you and buy a small holiday home abroad

Notnewnotold

I don't regret buying a decent size house (around 2500sq ft) at all despite the maintenance cost that comes with it. In the current situation, it's been a godsend for everyone to have their own space for study/work. Plus plenty of outside space, woodland nearby etc.

This is the new normal - I might go back to the office but never again full time. We need home offices for more than just occasional use. Space space space... as much as you can reasonably afford. Why anyone would want to live in a London shoebox is beyond me.

phoebe1989seb

We bought a six bed, 3500 sq ft Victorian detached on the south coast of England when we were a similar age to the OP. It was a project house that took ten years to renovate, mostly DIY. The bills were huge and the CT was band F. Our mortgage was massive, taking up far more of our income than most would deem acceptable.

Despite all this, I can honestly say it was the place I've been happiest. There were just the three of us but it never felt too big as we always had friends/family over. DS - who was just eight when we moved there - loved every moment, helping us on the 'building site' at weekends where he picked up many skills he's now using in his own home 😉

We sold it when DS went to uni, downsizing to another more rural project property with a bit of land where we were mortgage-free. CT was actually a higher band (G) and we still had huge bills. I hated it and spent most of my time regretting selling the old place!

We moved again - larger house - but still couldn't capture the feeling of the family home (I realise now this was in part because of DS leaving home/all our parents dying within a short time frame ☹️).

Three years ago we downsized again to a large two bed, very rural 400 year old detached cottage (also with some land) that does have its limitations - so we're building an extension, lol - but finally I've stopped missing the family home and think we'll most likely stay here.

I agree with the previous poster who said you might as well go for it - nothing ventured, nothing gained!

Greymug

couriervanman said:

Or stay where are you and buy a small holiday home abroad

and go on holiday in the same place every year. talk about experiences...