Right to Buy

Soot2006

have you considered moving out of your mum's house and starting your own life?

It sounds like you're trying to buy your mum's house and then potentially move her out of it.

[Deleted User]

Good. I hope she sticks to her guns and continues to refuse. 

Instead of putting so much time and effort into trying to persuade your mother to deplete the council housing stock for your own financial and selfish gain, why don't you use that time and effort to actually do something with your life that will provide you with the financial stability that you so desperately want 

Just a thought 

danny_cc

Okay, thanks for the replies, it seems that I have come across much more selfishly than I had thought or intended. 

I agree that I can’t force her to do it, some form of open communication is all I am asking for, I don’t want to live here forever and if I did want to move out, I can happily remove my name from a mortgage providing that is is affordable and sustainable for my mother and whoever else may still be living here at the time, if that wasn’t possible, I would look at saving the extra and potentially going for a second home mortgage (albeit less likely). For those saying that it sounds like I’m trying to buy it and get her out, absolutely not, I agree we can’t tell what may happen in the future regarding the relationship but I could never bring myself to do something like that to anyone, my only reason and need for being on the mortgage would be for the rate that is only available to me, and, to a lesser extent, so she didn’t feel like she was taking on a huge debt alone. 

From the selfish perspective, of course I would be financially better off, I currently pay lodge of more than the whole mortgage payment would be which would enable me to put more aside to buy a property on my own, which is currently un-achievable any time soon. That aside, I initially brought the idea up because because it would make her financially better off any way you look at it, all 3 of us in the house are in secure jobs that are unlikely to be at risk (of course I can’t know that and would never pretend to but some jobs are more secure than others). She would have an asset behind her, if she sells it and spends the money, good for her, if she has to sell it later in life for care, so be it, the reason I mentioned inheritance was for openness and transparency, that is purely an afterthought and nothing more, I, like most people would far rather have my mother than a property, but death is a fact of life and something that has to be thought of, and in this case is something that would make that period of time slightly easier when it does come, hopefully not for many many years to come. 

I appreciate the responses and peoples’ feelings regarding this, I was looking for constructive ways to open a dialogue regarding this if anyone had any ideas, and stated the benefits that I had thought of for background to save people repeating what I had already tried, I do not in any way want to ‘bully’ her into anything so I’m sorry that that is how it sounds, yes I am frustrated that she doesn’t seem to want to talk about something which will make her financially better off (unless someone can tell me otherwise), I’m not sure I’m going to get any constructive feedback here but thank you anyway, and again, apologies if I have come across in a wholly unintended light. 

Mildreds_Earrings

Sorry if this sounds harsh but it's not all about you, your financial position or what's best for you. This is your mother's home. As a former RTB Officer, I can tell you the RTB Team would interview the tenant, your mother and if we got a whiff that she was being coerced into this or wasn't sure, we would not approve the RTB. The tenant could appeal our decision but it's highly unlikely the appeal would be successful.  Tenants don't realise that Local Authorities do not want to lose their housing stock and therefore we investigate RTB applications thoroughly. 

Please find your own way of getting on the property ladder and leave your poor Mum alone. 

AdrianC

danny_cc said:

I agree that I can’t force her to do it, some form of open communication is all I am asking for

That's communication between you and your mother... Nobody else...

I don’t want to live here forever and if I did want to move out, I can happily remove my name from a mortgage

No, you don't just do that.
Your mother buys the place - as tenant, she has RtB. YOU DO NOT, because you are not a tenant.
Your mother needs to get a mortgage. You are not a joint owner, so you cannot (normally) be a borrower.

I, like most people would far rather have my mother than a property

Yet she does not see the need. And such is her prerogative, isn't it?

...something which will make her financially better off (unless someone can tell me otherwise)

It's entirely possible it won't.
Yes, she gets a discount to buy.
She has to take on a big mortgage debt, which she may not want to.
She loses her security of tenure.
If she can't pay the mortgage, the property gets repossessed.
She has to pay to maintain it. If it's leasehold, and especially if it's a flat, then the bill will come from the LA and she gets no input in the work or the size or timing of the bill.

It is not all upside...

ripplyuk

If your mum is refusing to discuss it, that in itself is a form of communication. A very clear one. She doesn’t want to buy the house. You don’t have a ‘right’ to know her reasons why (which could be many). Please stop trying to coerce her. She is entitled to make her own decisions regardless of whether you think it’s the right choice or not. 

danny_cc

I completely understand everyone’s points here, I can assure you (whether you believe me or not) that this is not something that I am trying to force on her, simply a discussion that I want to have, hence my request for assistance in opening up that discussion as my frustration is not that she is saying that she doesn’t want to do it, it’s that she is saying no without any of the facts (pros and cons) to make an informed decision about it. If she was to listens to all the pros and cons and still choose to not do it, that’s the end of it. It’s not what everyone is assuming that is is, that I am trying to bend her arm or that I am trying to coerce her or force her into some form of debt, I am first and foremost trying to show her a potential way to make herself financially better off with a full knowledge of the facts and all that is involved, I am not trying to claim that it is possible, that it is easy, that it doesn’t have its risks so I think that the assumption that I am trying to force her into something is completely wrong. 

The claim that I think it is all about me is completely wrong also, yes, as a result of the RTB, there would be a financial benefit to me but that is not and never was my reason behind looking into this, it was and still is, as I have already explained, for what I view as a benefit for my mother. I would never, during my mother’s lifetime, claim that the house was mine even if I was named on the mortgage and the deeds, I would never do anything that would have a negative impact on my family like forcing them out or leaving them with a debt that they can’t afford as some are suggesting, of course no one here is inclined to believe that since you do not know me. 

I came here for tips to open up a dialogue regarding the subject and I do fully take onboard everyone’s points, although I may not agree with them, but it is clear that I am not going to get any tips on opening the dialogue and instead am going to have assumptions made about me taking the situation completely out of context, which is maybe how I have positioned and worded some things.

gingercordial

danny_cc said:

I completely understand everyone’s points here, I can assure you (whether you believe me or not) that this is not something that I am trying to force on her, simply a discussion that I want to have, hence my request for assistance in opening up that discussion as my frustration is not that she is saying that she doesn’t want to do it, it’s that she is saying no without any of the facts (pros and cons) to make an informed decision about it. If she was to listens to all the pros and cons and still choose to not do it, that’s the end of it. It’s not what everyone is assuming that is is, that I am trying to bend her arm or that I am trying to coerce her or force her into some form of debt, I am first and foremost trying to show her a potential way to make herself financially better off with a full knowledge of the facts and all that is involved, I am not trying to claim that it is possible, that it is easy, that it doesn’t have its risks so I think that the assumption that I am trying to force her into something is completely wrong. 

The claim that I think it is all about me is completely wrong also, yes, as a result of the RTB, there would be a financial benefit to me but that is not and never was my reason behind looking into this, it was and still is, as I have already explained, for what I view as a benefit for my mother. I would never, during my mother’s lifetime, claim that the house was mine even if I was named on the mortgage and the deeds, I would never do anything that would have a negative impact on my family like forcing them out or leaving them with a debt that they can’t afford as some are suggesting, of course no one here is inclined to believe that since you do not know me. 

I came here for tips to open up a dialogue regarding the subject and I do fully take onboard everyone’s points, although I may not agree with them, but it is clear that I am not going to get any tips on opening the dialogue and instead am going to have assumptions made about me taking the situation completely out of context, which is maybe how I have positioned and worded some things.

How do you know that she doesn't know the facts already?  Perhaps she has already looked into it and decided it is not for her.  Given you've listed in a previous post various objections she's made, it sounds to me like she has already thought about it and made her decision.  No further presentation of the "pros and cos" required by you, and I suspect you would be strong on the pros and less on the cons...

Anyway it doesn't matter whether or not you want to have the discussion.  She does not want to have it.  That is her right.  You can't (or shouldn't) force someone into having a conversation that they do not want to have.  How can she be more clear on this?

NinjaTune

Write down the pros and cons and give them to her to read when/if she feels she wants to.

Clearly she has no wish to discuss it face to face or she would have done so by now.

Perhaps the way you come across in conversations about it with your Mum is the same way you seem to have come across in this thread?

Write it down.  Let her read it at her leisure.  If she still says no afterwards then at least you can be reassured she is making an informed choice.

AdrianC

danny_cc said:

I can assure you (whether you believe me or not) that this is not something that I am trying to force on her, simply a discussion that I want to have

You aren't trying to force it on her... but you're simply refusing to accept the clear answer she's already given you.

And how can we possibly know what you could say to her to change her mind? We've never met her...

yes, as a result of the RTB, there would be a financial benefit to me

No, there would not. Perhaps there might be when your mother eventually dies, perhaps not. But not until then. Until then, it would just be her buying a property she doesn't want to buy, and losing a secure tenancy.

I would never, during my mother’s lifetime, claim that the house was mine even if I was named on the mortgage and the deeds

If you're "on the deeds", then it simply is yours. You are a part-owner.
(We'll ignore for know that you can't be, because you have no RtB, she would have to be sole-owner).

If you got divorced, it would form part of the financial settlement.
If you went bankrupt, it would be an asset to repay your creditors.