I Need Help

Cwoodsey1989

Hi, hopefully someone can point me in the right direction or help me out. I was in a relationship for 17 years, 4 kids, married, always worked, I used to let my wife deal with all the bills and gave her all my money each week. We have been separated a few years now and I am getting so many companies chasing for money as she took all sorts out in my name. We moved house quite a lot of time as she said she couldn’t settle “ more like running away from debts”. I have no idea what i can do or what companies have had things taken out in my name. Can anyone point me in the right direction ❤️

eskbanker

First thing to do is to check your credit files with the three main agencies: https://www.moneysavingexpert.com/loans/check-free-credit-report/

That should allow you to identify all credit arrangements in your name - what you choose to do with them beyond that is up to you, with the options including paying them off yourself, getting your ex to do so, or shopping her to the authorities.

It's not clear whether it's still happening or if this is all historical, but you can take out a CIFAS protective registration which hinders anyone attempting to obtain credit in your name (including you....).

Caz3121

Best to have a look at your credit reports to see what information is on there and then you can assess next steps (are you prepared to take on these debts as yours or report her for fraud with police involvement?)
https://www.moneysavingexpert.com/loans/check-free-credit-report/

Jamesyb123

Cwoodsey1989 said:

Hi, hopefully someone can point me in the right direction or help me out. I was in a relationship for 17 years, 4 kids, married, always worked, I used to let my wife deal with all the bills and gave her all my money each week. We have been separated a few years now and I am getting so many companies chasing for money as she took all sorts out in my name. We moved house quite a lot of time as she said she couldn’t settle “ more like running away from debts”. I have no idea what i can do or what companies have had things taken out in my name. Can anyone point me in the right direction ❤️

You really should report this as fraud, it’s not acceptable to take things out in other people’s names and companies may not be willing to help you unless you confirm they are fraudulent accounts. It’s hard but then you have been severely deceived which isn’t fair.

Cwoodsey1989

Obviously she is the mother of my children so I don’t want the police involved, but I also don’t want to pay all these debts that aren’t mine. I was out working and presumed the bills were being paid and we were not getting anything on finance

Notnewnotold

Cwoodsey1989 said:

Obviously she is the mother of my children so I don’t want the police involved, but I also don’t want to pay all these debts that aren’t mine. I was out working and presumed the bills were being paid and we were not getting anything on finance

Well if she won't pay them herself, then it really is a binary choice - report the fraud or pay it off yourself. Only you can decide and I agree it's a difficult one...

eskbanker

One further thought - are you divorced or just separated?  When divorcing, both parties are obliged to disclose all financial arrangements, so that's the time to resolve issues such as these, by factoring all debts into the settlement, alongside assets and so on.

If it's already happened, was there any mention of this and if not, is there any prospect of holding your solicitor accountable for the omission?

If it hasn't already happened, then you may still have the opportunity to resolve the matter....

Cwoodsey1989

We are just separated, I can’t really afford to pay for a divorce, I’ve printed off my credit file so will make a start and see what happens next 

Jamesyb123

Cwoodsey1989 said:

We are just separated, I can’t really afford to pay for a divorce, I’ve printed off my credit file so will make a start and see what happens next 

You could also approach her and advise that you’re choices are bankruptcy, living on the streets or reporting the fraud and her taking responsibility or she pays it and it’s taken no further. You’ve mentioned she’s the mother of your children well you are the father of her children and she should not want you to be going through this. I would give her the ultimatum and hopefully she shows you as much care as you show her and hopefully some remorse too. Good luck with it all, may also be worth speaking to a debt charity they aren’t just there for people who can’t pay their debts they can also give general advice especially in your situation which I’m sure isn’t unique it’s highly likely this happens between a lot of separated couples.

eskbanker

Cwoodsey1989 said:

I’ve printed off my credit file so will make a start and see what happens next 

What are you actually planning to do with the info from your files (plural, there are three)?

Cwoodsey1989 said:

We are just separated, I can’t really afford to pay for a divorce

Can you afford not to (not that the cost is borne by just one party) if you otherwise end up holding the baby for all these debts?  You mentioned that she took care of the household finances but at some point you're going to need to separate your and her finances, which, as well as agreeing child maintenance and so on, will involve not just these debts, but any joint bank accounts, savings, pensions, house, car, etc, etc, and, without wishing to cross the line, there may even be assets you're unaware of, although this is presumably unlikely if there are widespread debts?  Perhaps worth contacting Citizen's Advice?

Cwoodsey1989

The truth is I don’t really know what I’m going to do, I’m a 40 year old man who has never dealt with bills or debts ( obviously it’s my own fault ). A CIFAS sounds like my first option to give me piece of mind no more things are taken out against my name. As for splitting finances, we didn’t really have any, we rented, she kept the car, 2 children come to live with me and 2 stayed with her so no child maintenance. I appreciate all the comments and help. Thanks again