Funeral director messed up

carbonated

My fathers funeral was 2 months ago. On the run up to the funeral I carefully wrote instructions for the funeral firm of how we wanted the ceremony to be performed. It included them receiving flowers from our florist to their office and taking them with him to the crematorium. I went to the funeral home the morning of the funeral and the flowers had been delivered to their office.

The afternoon of the funeral, all his friends and neighbours on his road who were self isolating, came out to see him off. The hearse arrived with a bare coffin and no flowers what'ssoever. The funeral director did not know where the flowers were. I explained they had been delivered to their office. We then had the sad humiliation of leaving my dads road with no flowers, then waiting in a lay by outside the funeral directors office while they collected the flowers from their office, ensued by a very fast drive to the crematorium and a rushed service.

I paid the bill on time but withheld 10% (£400) and wrote a email of complaint explaining I'd withheld 10% because they didnt follow our instructions, resulting an undignified funeral. It is a nationwide funeral director with local offices everywhere.

My mother just got a demand for the witheld 10%.

Please could someone help me?

I'm wondering whether firstly could I take over the debt from my mother - shes elderly and in no state to stand up for herself.

Does anyone know the procedure they would impose if we continue not pay? Will they sell the debt to a debt collector? 

If we pay, would it be worth pursuing a refund through the small claims court?

I'd be really grateful for any advice.

Thank you in advance.

Robin9

Who signed the contract with the FS - you or your mother ?

I am rather surprised that the FD has not waived the £400

gettingtheresometime

Firstly I'm sorry for your loss.

Whilst I agree that they messed up big time and yes there should be some sort of compensation I think you've gone about things slightly the wrong way.

The person in the accounts department won't know of the issue - all they will be aware of is the fact that the bill hasn't been settled in full..hence the demand & would take any action to recover that debt.

what I would do now is phone & actually speak to someone- what's ever agreed can be confirmed in a follow up email.

carbonated

thank you both.

After I sent my email detailing why I witheld the money, I called the FD since no-one had answered my email.  The FD said it would be escalated to their regional manager who would deal with it from then on. the only response I had to my email is this demand letter today.  Ill be able to contact the accounts department on Monday and also speak to the regional manager.The contract was signed by my mother, but we'd prefer it to be dealt with by me to save her the stress. Is there any way I could get the bill/contract transferred to me?

Do you think it be handled inhouse or automatically sent to a debt collector?

Marcon

carbonated said:

thank you both.

After I sent my email detailing why I witheld the money, I called the FD since no-one had answered my email.  The FD said it would be escalated to their regional manager who would deal with it from then on. the only response I had to my email is this demand letter today.  Ill be able to contact the accounts department on Monday and also speak to the regional manager.The contract was signed by my mother, but we'd prefer it to be dealt with by me to save her the stress. Is there any way I could get the bill/contract transferred to me?

Do you think it be handled inhouse or automatically sent to a debt collector?

This sounds like a classic case of poor communication, with the person handling invoicing and accounts not communicating with colleagues.

Send another e-mail to the FD, copying in their accounts 'department' (likely to be one person - if you don't have an e-mail for them, look on the website to see if there is a general e-mail address and use that), briefly setting out the background and asking for future correspondence to be addressed to your mother via you, spelling out that you wish to spare an elderly and grieving widow unnecessary stress and distress. Also have a look on the FD's website for details of their complaints procedure, and if that offers 'another' e-mail address, include that too.

The chances of this going to a debt collector without at least one further 'warning' letter are pretty slim, so I really wouldn't lose sleep over that. Your mother should have received a 'request', not a 'demand' for payment, although I'm sure to her it felt like the latter.

sixtyfoothigh

I think it sounds like poor communication between different departments. So the accounts chasing person probably doesn't know about your complaints.

In terms of you dealing with it, on your mums behalf... it's her debt (if she signed the contract). But I did this for plenty of my mother in laws debts. She was an alcoholic with many health issues, and I'd contact whoever was chasing her and say she was vulnerable and not well enough to handle this. They would send her a form to sign to give them permission to deal with me, and after that they would correspond with me instead. (Though if it had ever gone to court it would have been her they were taking to court).

Sx

TBagpuss

I agree  that it sounds like poor communication (possibly made worse if people like the accounts staff are working from home)
I would e-mail them again, cc'd to the accounts department (if there is an address on the bill or the reminders) and to the head office.

Set out what happened, the fact that you have raised a formal complaint and have been told it will be dealt with by the regional manager but that you have not yet heard anything and ask them to respond to the complaint as a matter of urgency. Add that you  are concerned that they are seeking to pursue you for £4000 despite having provided poor service and having yet to address that issue. 
Since your mum is the one they have a contract with she is the one they will pursue, however you can send them her signed authority to deal with you instead - they would still name her if they tried to sue, but it should allow them to deal with you in relation to the complaint. 

Technosaurus

This is probably a bit late for the Original Poster, but to anybody else reading this who has a similar experience...

The best thing to do in this circumstance is to with-hold ALL the cash until either the complaint has been investigated and resolved with the FD. In the above circumstances, it sounds to me like the whole experience was ruined rather than just 10% of it (I'm not "having a go" at Carbonated here, I hope you understand, I just feel they've been too generous!). A rushed service, an undignified send-off from his neighbours, charging around looking for flowers... no way I'd be paying 90% of that without arguing my corner! Granted, you won't get the service for free over some flowers being in the wrong place, but you have every right to put the ball in their court to 'make it right'. 

Funerals are just like any other products/services, if you're not happy with the service then you have the right to complain and/or seek redress (obviously usually this is financial as there's very little that can be done 'after the event' for funerals). Especially with the big national outfits, they have complaints procedures and they certainly have enough cashflow to keep them ticking over while they sort it out. They will also be members of NAFD/SAIF so there's complaints procedures with them too.