New partner / Groceries!

Mimi_Arc_en_ciel

Hi! 
Some and my partner decided to bite the bullet and move in together (Thanks covid.....) and we have very different ideas on food.... I need your help! 
We are spending, on average, £400 a month!! This is for 2 adults and 2 children. This is for breakfasts, lunches, dinners and snacks as well as household cleaning/toiletries etc - it DOES include alcohol (4 - SMALL - bottles of Theakston's a week from tesco, £6 for 4) 
I've tried to meal plan, he has made us start eating better (apparently pot noodles weren't a suitable lunch!)  - We're eating a lot of chicken/fish and im always looking out for deals (got a whole salmon side recently for £3 after xmas, cut it down to 10 portions!) 
Am i being unrealistic about how much I'm spending? Is there a way to lower this? We downshift most things (Except coffee!) 
I've tried shopping at aldi on/off but found most of the veg went off within a few days..... 

tacpot12

Aldi is usually a good option for cutting costs, but their portion sizes can be small, and if the quality of the veg isn't up to much at the moment, it's perhaps not viable. £400/month sounds about right if you aren't able to shop at Aldi/Lidl etc.

Perhaps the answer is to buy what you can from Aldi, and buy the rest from somewhere else.

Pot Noodles are a suitable lunch once in a while - I've found Asda have started carrying a Polish version of pot noodles called Sam Smak - the Spicy Chicken Broth flavour is delicious, but incredibly spicy! Your partner might be converted to these if they like very spicy food. I might have one of these for lunch, or as a light tea if I'm not so hungry.

I think you are doing pretty well if you are keeping everyone happy for £400/month.  

bouicca21

I share your partner’s disdain for pot noodles ... why not try hm soups and/or nice sandwiches instead?  TBH I don’t think £400 is too bad, it’s less than £4 a day per person for food, household cleaning  and toiletries.  

Do you actually need to cut down on expenditure? Or do you just want to?  Working out when the supermarket of choice is most likely to have reductions is one way to go (I am so jealous of your salmon).  It’s also worth having some stock cheap meals in your repertoire, including meat free meals like lentil bolognese, that you can trot out maybe once a week.  

You may find  that shopping at a different branch of Aldi/Lidl is worth the faff.  I don’t quite understand why (stock control or supply lines?) but fruit and veg in my local Lidl goes off very quickly whereas the fruit and veg in one a couple of miles away is fine.  

thriftwizard

I'm sure you could spend less, but I'd say that £400 pcm for groceries isn't an outrageous amount for 2 adults & 2 children if you're eating well & sensibly, have enough coming in, & don't have debts to pay down or something massive to save for that means you have to spend less. I'm spending about that this month for 4 adults, plus assorted fauna, because we had plenty of festive leftovers, but usually allow a little more, and I'm aware I spend a lot less per head than most of my local friends. We don't have a L!dl or Ald! locally, only W8rose & Co-op, but we do have a market which helps me save a lot of money and afford lots of stuff that costs an arm & a leg in the supermarkets - e.g. usually 3 ripe avocados for £1 at the market, or 2 (usually unripe) for £3 at the supermarket. Plus they do source food locally, sometimes even from growers on our allotment site! It's worth looking at markets, if you have one locally. Also, farm shops. £6 for a 25Kg sack of Wilja potatoes at our local farm shop today; they keep for several weeks in a cool dark shed or garage.

And noodles can be worthwhile; various friends from other parts of the world have shown me how to add food value with an egg and/or some frozen or chopped veg just added into the cooking water. They'd never use pot noodles, though; far too expensive compared to the little packets you can generally get at around 4 for £1 at the oriental groceries.

Mimi_Arc_en_ciel

Thank you for the replies. 

I want to reduce the food because I think it's too much, we have dropped having take aways and instead have a 'date night' at the end of the month with the left over money (usually a tesco finest meal deal or something!) But I'm hoping to start saving enough so we can eat out, when we're allowed to anyway!

So before I was spending around £200 a month for me and 2 kids. With one now being a teenager she doesn't seem to stop eating, and OH obviously moving in and trying to fit in with his eating habits has bumped the budget up. 

Im keeping receipts so I can see where I'm spending (food/cleaning etc) then seeing If I can make changes. Partly I think it's my meal plans aren't 'cheap' enough lol 

Breakfasts are mainly 
Pain au chocolat (kids!) They get like 6 for 94p or a breakfast bar (easy to grab foods as DD1 always rushes for the school bus at 7;30am, and is always late out the door so doesn't have breakfast unless it's something she can grab)
Bacon sandwiches if OH is off work
Over night oats 

Lunch is usually a wrap, crisps, fruit and a chocolate bar 

Tea is whatever I can cook (I'm a terrible cook!) - I've been using the 'good food's website for ideas. There's always a chicken dish, fish dish, vegetarian dish, pasta dish, jacket potato and a roast dinner (I use left over for the wraps at lunch) 

When OH is at work he insists on taking graze nuts (I buy 6 bags off amazon for £14, they last a month) and portion them out and he HAS (!!) To have the fridge bottles of lucazade - part of the budget is beers (4 a week at £6)

Maybe I'm being unrealistic, it was just a shock to see the food bill double when there's only 1 extra person 

elsien

Can’t he do his share of the cooking and come up with some cheaper meals to help towards the eating out goal? 

I also don’t see why you’re not treating yourself as well - it doesn’t have to be expensive but if it stops you feeling resentful then why not? 

bouicca21

On another thread there was a link to Nigella’s breakfast bars,  dead easy to make, way cheaper than buying them.  I substituted evap milk for the condensed required by the recipe and it worked fine apart from needing more sugar (condensed milk is way sweeter than evaporated).  

Mimi_Arc_en_ciel

He won't cook (been a fair few discussions on this!) He can cook, but he would sooner not. It winds me up occasionally.... When he's at work, I don't mind cooking (he doesn't get in until late, I finish at 4 so makes sense for me to cook) but even on his days off he won't. He's currently furloughed, the only thing he's found in the kitchen is the kettle lol it's annoying because I'm still working (from home) so there's been discussions about it. In his 'previous' life (with his ex wife) they shopped at waitrose, didn't budget/meal plan and thought nothing of spending £150+ a week on just them 2 - I don't think he knows HOW to cook cheaply. 

I'm not usually resentful, it's been a long week ☹️ I've edited it because I realised I was being a cow lol 

I'll look at the nigella recipe, thanks for the tip! 

jennystarpepper

So before I was spending around £200 a month for me and 2 kids. With one now being a teenager she doesn't seem to stop eating, and OH obviously moving in and trying to fit in with his eating habits has bumped the budget up. 

Im keeping receipts so I can see where I'm spending (food/cleaning etc) then seeing If I can make changes. Partly I think it's my meal plans aren't 'cheap' enough lol 

Bacon sandwiches if OH is off work

 Tea is whatever I can cook (I'm a terrible cook!) - I've been using the 'good food's website for ideas. There's always a chicken dish, fish dish, vegetarian dish, pasta dish, jacket potato and a roast dinner (I use left over for the wraps at lunch) 

When OH is at work he insists on taking graze nuts (I buy 6 bags off amazon for £14, they last a month) and portion them out and he HAS (!!) To have the fridge bottles of lucazade - part of the budget is beers (4 a week at £6)

Maybe I'm being unrealistic, it was just a shock to see the food bill double when there's only 1 extra person 

Your food bill has doubled for one person moving in, I think your partner needs to compromise.

He has made comment about 'pot noodles' but wants his 'treats for work' booze and Lucozade!!  Bacon sandwiches for breakfast, when you are having cheaper alternatives.  

No you are not being unrealistic, you are being too nice, which is a credit to you because trying to fit into a new way of living.  

So what if you think you are a bad cook, get your partner to cook with you, (you are probably not that bad).

If he wants his treats he needs to contribute more or pay for them himself.  I think you mentioned him discussing eating better, Graze nuts, Lucozade and alcohol is not healthy.

Please treat yourself as the above poster mentioned, it just appears you and your children are the ones doing the  compromising and it has to be a shared effort.   I was not sure if you would want to hear this last bit... but 'in for a penny'  I think he is being selfish to be honest.  

bouicca21

Budgeting is a state of mind.  My ex was an excellent cook, but absolutely refused to meal plan or budget.  As long as there was enough money to pay the bills, that was all that mattered.  Any scrimping was my job.  

OP you seem to be in the same boat.  Put your foot down now.  I regret that I never did.  I deserved treats - and so do you.

SootySweep1

Hi
You say that you want to reduce the amount you spend on groceries but you don't say if you need to reduce your spend.
I'm guessing that you have been a single mum with two children ? So you have had to watch your spending whereas possibly your partner not as much ? So different expectations / attitudes ? As others have said £400 per month / £100 per week isn't bad.
You need a discussion with your partner on expectations v budget.
In terms of things like lucazade have you checked to see if you can buy in bulk from anywhere ? My kids like pepsi max and I buy 3 trays of 24 cans for £20 from Farmfoods. The trays are normally £8.50 each at full price from the supermarkets unless they have them on offer. Home Bargains & Iceland also often have good deals.
Whether you're willing to accept your partner not cooking is up to you. My husband is not a keen cook & I do the vast majority but he does pull his weight in other ways.
Jen