How much to live on

BooJewels

MarthaKL said:

BooJewels said:

@Skint_yet_Again - I've opted for monthly interest on my assorted fixes, bonds and EA savings and whilst at the moment I'm keeping them where they are (or moving them to decently paying accounts) to compound, knowing that I can get at it as needed is psychologically important for me.  I also like seeing it getting added each month - better than waiting a full year to see it.

I would also add a personal observation about driving and owning a car.  Since my husband died and I find myself on my own and not able to drive - it's become really isolating.  I have no family locally and no friends to call upon.  We don't have a very useful bus service (an intercity that makes a modest loop off the motorway once an hour), so I can only get anywhere on foot or in a taxi.  I manage perfectly well, but would dearly love the freedom of doing my own shopping - it becomes a treat to just choose my own tomatoes etc.  I'm now deeply regretting some of the choices I made 30 years ago - like where I live.

I used to live in a tiny hamlet with no bus service and a two mile walk to buy a pint of milk. It turned out to be a huge mistake as I was a reluctant driver - plus I shared the car with my husband who needed it to commute. We were bowled over by the cute period cottage and extensive garden, but we definitely let the heart rule the head and soon regretted our choice. Our next move was to a house ten minutes walk from the town centre, with a well stocked local shop just round the corner.  We live on a peaceful road near a pretty town. This suits our lifestyle so much better, but we are now on the lookout for a new place with even more facilities on the doorstep. Would you consider moving to somewhere more convenient, as it sounds as though you have few ties where you are? 

I have been battling with the idea of moving for a while and there are still fractionally more ticks in the plus column to stay, than not.  I actually live in a bigger house than I need on my own really, but don't really want to live anywhere smaller, as the house is full of stuff already and I've sort of got used to the space.  I'd have to downsize to be able to afford it and possibly move to a less nice area.

My sister has recently moved to a nice house, in a quiet cul-de-sac, with allotments behind her, separated by trees and a couple of decent shops quarter of a mile away.  But I don't think I'd swap.

I'm only about a mile from a decent selection of shops, so I can actually walk and get a taxi home with my shopping - but I've been a bit off colour lately and the walk is proving unsuitable just now.  But in future, if I can get driving it will be transformative.  It's taken me over a year to even get on the waiting list for an instructor though - they don't think old ladies can pass driving tests.   When I explained to one chap (who'd been recommended) my circumstances, he let out a big long-suffering audible sigh and went "oh, one of those" and added that he'd be prepared to take my money off me to give it a go, but I needed to set my expectations accordingly, as it was very unlikely that I'd actually ever pass.  I've kept his number, so that I can ring him and gloat when I do.

Luckily the bloke I've found, who it turns out I've already known for 30 years, saw absolutely no problem in giving it a go and sees it as a professional challenge to get me though first time.  He said "you can't possibly be worse than some of the 17 year old girls, they just cry when they can't do something and some have no common sense whatsoever".  I too was reluctant at first, but now I've reached the stage that I am ready to do it, I'm dying to get going.  I'm a smidge scared too.  My sister, son and I are having fun though pointing at cars going "I think I'd look good in that" etc.  My idea of what I think I'd suit and the budget combined with the reality of my 4'11" chunky frame are however wildly different.

Pat38493

BooJewels said:

Luckily the bloke I've found, who it turns out I've already known for 30 years, saw absolutely no problem in giving it a go and sees it as a professional challenge to get me though first time.  He said "you can't possibly be worse than some of the 17 year old girls, they just cry when they can't do something and some have no common sense whatsoever".  I too was reluctant at first, but now I've reached the stage that I am ready to do it, I'm dying to get going.  I'm a smidge scared too.  My sister, son and I are having fun though pointing at cars going "I think I'd look good in that" etc.  My idea of what I think I'd suit and the budget combined with the reality of my 4'11" chunky frame are however wildly different.

Probably you thought of this already, but one hint is to learn to drive in an automatic car - this makes it easier for the technical part, and also easier as you get older if you get any issues with legs and feet.  Of course this means you are not allowed to drive a manual car, but do you really need to?

On top of this, in about 10 years from now most cars will be automatic as all hybrids and electric cars are either automatics, or don't have gears at all.  My wife recently switched over to an automatic EV and she says she would not go back.  In fact, she said it's the first time in her life she actually started to enjoy driving a bit.

Skint_yet_Again

I’m sorry to hear about your loss @BooJewels
I lived up north up to age 20 then moved down south for work until age 55. I have now moved back up north into the same village, near my family and a few old friends that I kept in contact with. I have left behind my grown up DS and good friends but should be able to visit a couple of times a year. There is a bus service here to nearby asd@ and the leisure centre and a bus into the city. Also in the village there is a GP surgery, chemist, church, events taking place each week in the village hall & hairdresser. I couldn’t keep up with the cleaning and maintenance of my former large 3 bed house so I am glad to have moved to a smaller 2 bed. 

Hope you are feeling better soon and good luck with the driving lessons 🤞

BooJewels

Pat38493 said:

BooJewels said:

Luckily the bloke I've found, who it turns out I've already known for 30 years, saw absolutely no problem in giving it a go and sees it as a professional challenge to get me though first time.  He said "you can't possibly be worse than some of the 17 year old girls, they just cry when they can't do something and some have no common sense whatsoever".  I too was reluctant at first, but now I've reached the stage that I am ready to do it, I'm dying to get going.  I'm a smidge scared too.  My sister, son and I are having fun though pointing at cars going "I think I'd look good in that" etc.  My idea of what I think I'd suit and the budget combined with the reality of my 4'11" chunky frame are however wildly different.

Probably you thought of this already, but one hint is to learn to drive in an automatic car - this makes it easier for the technical part, and also easier as you get older if you get any issues with legs and feet.  Of course this means you are not allowed to drive a manual car, but do you really need to?

On top of this, in about 10 years from now most cars will be automatic as all hybrids and electric cars are either automatics, or don't have gears at all.  My wife recently switched over to an automatic EV and she says she would not go back.  In fact, she said it's the first time in her life she actually started to enjoy driving a bit.

Yes, I have given it very serious thought and we discussed it extensively. But for a variety of reasons, decided against it.

I actually own a manual gearbox car already - my late husband's - my son has use of it until I get driving - at which time, between us, we'll buy another car.  Whether he keeps that one and I buy something new or I take mine back and buy him something - we'll decide on the day we go car shopping, according to what we find on the market.  Neither of us are fixed on what we'd prefer - he's chunky like me and about 15" taller, but likes the fit of my Hyundai - so would be quite happy to keep it.  I quite like the idea of a hybrid - or potentially even an EV.  I have a drive, but my son doesn't have a street frontage, so his choices are more limited.

So, on balance, decided not to limit myself by only driving an automatic - even if that's maybe what I end up with.

BooJewels

Skint_yet_Again said:

I’m sorry to hear about your loss @BooJewels
I lived up north up to age 20 then moved down south for work until age 55. I have now moved back up north into the same village, near my family and a few old friends that I kept in contact with. I have left behind my grown up DS and good friends but should be able to visit a couple of times a year. There is a bus service here to nearby asd@ and the leisure centre and a bus into the city. Also in the village there is a GP surgery, chemist, church, events taking place each week in the village hall & hairdresser. I couldn’t keep up with the cleaning and maintenance of my former large 3 bed house so I am glad to have moved to a smaller 2 bed. 

Hope you are feeling better soon and good luck with the driving lessons 🤞

Thank you kindly, it's much appreciated - on several counts.  

Maintenance is actually a bit of an issue - especially outside - but I've now found a lovely handyman - he's the same age as my son, but very willing, works very hard and we've worked on a few projects now and have a giggle, so he's going to make a real difference.  I make a list of things that need doing - enough to make it worth him coming - and he allocates me a day and we work through them together.  I'm gradually making changes to make it easier for me longer term and that's been a real help emotionally - I don't feel quite so over-faced. 

I'm reasonably capable, but mired by being short and mature - so not blessed with great arm reach or strength - and I really can't do ladders, so it makes some jobs that should be easy enough, just not do-able on my own.  So I do what I can and don't feel bad about paying someone else to help with the rest.

Savvy_Sue

I've known several of 'those', @BooJewels, who have become competent drivers in later life, so you go for it.

I don't know if your instructor does this, but the one my boys used recommended insuring the family car for learner use, through a special scheme which was time limited and cheaper than adding them to our regular insurance. Could be worth asking about that, once you're feeling confident, if your son would be willing to go out with you! 

Then do PassPlus once you've passed your test, which will give you a bit of motorway experience, and you'll be off! 

The alternative to not driving, I feel, is to become a confident user of apps like Uber! I say this after chatting to a couple of ladies after choir the other night, they don't live near enough to walk and of course it's dark now when we finish. I said I'd be happy to give them lifts home as it would give me a reason not to walk up there - which is fine in summer but really not so nice in the dark. We do have buses, but even in a city it's not a reliable service, supposed to be hourly after about 7 pm but too many cancellations! 

BooJewels

@Savvy_Sue - thanks for the good wishes.  The irony is that I come from a family where driving was a significant skill - my father, my aunt and husband were all advanced drivers - my Dad and aunt variously raced and rallied and held the appropriate licences.  My aunt - who passed away earlier this year and will be funding this adventure - passed her pilot's licence only a little younger than me and got her microlite and glider tickets in her late 60s.  So I don't really have any excuse for not doing the task justice.

I am actually already insured on the car and have been for a while - we did that when I first took ownership and it was very little extra.  The very expensive bit will be when I hopefully pass and insure on my own as a sole new driver.  Even at my age, a local broker has quoted me over £5k - it should drop quite rapidly, if there's no incidents, but it's going to be an expensive first year.  I've already discussed pass plus with the instructor and everyone has recommended it.

I am happy to use apps etc., I use one to book the local cabs I use and have done extensively for Ubers in the past too - unfortunately, they're not active enough in this area to be worth it for short local journeys, but I do tend to use them for longer trips.

Skint_yet_Again

Your aunt sounds like an amazing woman and I’m sure you will do her justice. If you have enough money for lessons my only comment would be think about having 2 a week if you can. This is what I did when I learned to drive at age 30 and I passed first time. I took my manual test but have only driven automatic cars in more recent years. 

BooJewels

Skint_yet_Again said:

Your aunt sounds like an amazing woman and I’m sure you will do her justice. If you have enough money for lessons my only comment would be think about having 2 a week if you can. This is what I did when I learned to drive at age 30 and I passed first time. I took my manual test but have only driven automatic cars in more recent years. 

She was totally amazing - she was a very accomplished downhill skier - skiing with men, as women were too slow for her and she drove her 2 seater sports car until she was 93 - only a fall and shattering her hip put paid to that - which broke her heart.  She was about 4'8" tall, as was her mother (so, they're clearly to blame) - but you'd underestimate them at your peril.  We regularly locked horns, but my sister and I are both finding that we miss her way more than we expected to - she was tiny, but left a massive hole in our lives.  I am delighted that on both sides, we hail from a long line of amazing women.

The plan is for 2 lessons a week and I'd aim to get to my test in under 6 months.  I have learnt to drive before, but never got to a test, so it depends on how much comes back to me.

WYSPECIAL

I'm only about a mile from a decent selection of shops, so I can actually walk and get a taxi home with my shopping - but I've been a bit off colour lately and the walk is proving unsuitable just now.  But in future, if I can get driving it will be transformative.  It's taken me over a year to even get on the waiting list for an instructor though - they don't think old ladies can pass driving tests.   When I explained to one chap (who'd been recommended) my circumstances, he let out a big long-suffering audible sigh and went "oh, one of those" and added that he'd be prepared to take my money off me to give it a go, but I needed to set my expectations accordingly, as it was very unlikely that I'd actually ever pass.  I've kept his number, so that I can ring him and gloat when I do.

Luckily the bloke I've found, who it turns out I've already known for 30 years, saw absolutely no problem in giving it a go and sees it as a professional challenge to get me though first time.  He said "you can't possibly be worse than some of the 17 year old girls, they just cry when they can't do something and some have no common sense whatsoever".  I too was reluctant at first, but now I've reached the stage that I am ready to do it, I'm dying to get going.  I'm a smidge scared too.  My sister, son and I are having fun though pointing at cars going "I think I'd look good in that" etc.  My idea of what I think I'd suit and the budget combined with the reality of my 4'11" chunky frame are however wildly different.

You’d think older people who were going to take longer to learn or unlikely to pass and wanted to pay for driving lessons every week would be the ideal client for driving instructors and they’d fit you in straight away. One of the problems for them must be having to find a constant stream of new clients. A few years ago some were desperate for any work they could get. How soon they forget!