* Driving Home for Christmas * - It's the 2021 Christmas Chatter Thread!

Spendless

DH dished up the food and announced that he'd forgot to put D's Quorn roast in. It was still in the freezer. The only reason I didn't break down and cry at this point was because I didn't want to make a scene in front of his family. DD felt the same. It summed the whole experience up. I'd had a row with him a couple of hours earlier over it all, saying that he'd just gone merrily ahead with everything he'd wanted to do and eat, without consulting me at any point of the process. I said I wouldn't have refused his family coming, it just would have been nice to be asked first and I wouldn't have done it to him and if I had then how would he have liked it if at the point he was issuing invites out, if I'd said I'd already accepted elsewhere. I went on to say he then argued with me about wanting a starter, and insisted on having one, whereas I'd discovered last year when HM1 & 2 came that trying to cater for different dietary needs when you're also preparing a large turkey dinner plus all the trimmings is difficult and that my Mum had said how hard she used to find it too when no-one ate the same thing (she used to be serving 3 different starters for a gathering of 8) and recommended just skipping it in favour of the mains. That he'd insisted on sprouts when 2/3rd of the household (me and DD) can't abide them and I wouldn't dream of inviting my family round for a meal to serve up something that he actively disliked but again knowing we disliked them he went ahead announcing to his family they'd be on the menu and just told me afterwards. To add insult to injury during the meal sis-in-law said to DH 'I thought you didn't like sprouts. Mum used to hide them under other items'. DH's replied to her 'don't you start' and I said 'apparently he only likes them on Christmas day'

That when he'd said DD would have just salad and cocktail sauce as a starter and she was ok with that, that was just her agreeing to something rather than her really wanting it. which was unfair given it was her house. The reason seemed to be that his Neice (who didn't come anyway due to covid) ate that because that's what she was given at his Mums each year and she doesn't like either tomato soup or garlic mushrooms.the alternatives I suggested, again what we were eating all based round what he/his family wanted to eat without thought for me and DD. The gravy he made (just Bisto granules as they're veggie) was too watery. He'd plonked the jug in front of me and asked if it was ok, and I had answered could he please make a decision about it himself without involving me as I was trying to dish up veg at that point as well as hold it together because the Quorn roast missing had just been revealed. It's not like he doesn't make gravy at other times of the year and when we sat down to eat it felt cold and the gravy didn't warm it through. I've no idea why, we had bought new Christmas plates, as not enough to go round with our original ones. Does the sheen on some plates do this does anyone know? FIL said he didn't want his palte over faced, then moaned that he'd said he had got it like that. He got the same answer from me twice, that when dishing up for several it was easier to make everyone have the same and he could leave whatever he couldn't manage, we weren't expecting him to finish the lot.

The 'scarborough warning' that I got last month that we wouldn't be helped on the day in any shape or form came to fruition, something I fetched up before my guests arrival in the row with DH, that everything was being left to me and him. In an attempt to force a little something brought along, I asked if they could fetch some wine. Got the reply they'd have to see if they had anything in - none was forthcoming despite them having to drive past a shop to get here that sells alcohol and opens Christmas day, as the owners are of a religion that don't celebrate it. Even DD said that she didn't feel like she'd spent time with family, she just felt liked they'd popped round for a meal and stayed for the same duration that you would if dining out.

So, in summary, never ever again. DH doesn't get sprouts, I don't care. I will happily bin them after the shops close on Xmas Eve and deny all knowledge.He knows he's upset me. 

pixtotts

Merry Christmas all!

Sorry I've been so absent this year, I may have taken on more than I could manage in terms of Christmas markets, and my grandad passed away end of November so I took a little time off then which meant I worked solidly right through until yesterday. Finally got the family bauble order finished yesterday lunch time and got my bedroom tree in at last! 

Even today has felt somewhat chaotic. There is a lady up the road who my mum started looking after some years ago now, last Christmas her health took a turn for the worse, and this year she is bed bound so it's been a bit of yoyoing up there for the late morning visit, then back again later on as the care company could only send one carer out so we went and helped. And in between at my aunt and uncles with 4 dogs, and 2 nearly 3 month old twins. Great Fun!  

Tomorrow the plan is finish opening out presents at home, and do absolutely nothing... well slight lie need to finish the mini Christmas jumper decoration I started for my sister what feels like AGES ago (I think it was last weekend...) and then do nothing! And promise myself next year I book a little less in..... x

Skibunny40

Hope you're doing okay Spendless

Beshki

Hope everyone’s day went to plan. Pondering over some Boxing Day sales purchases for next year. Never done it before & unsure whether I am tempted simply because they are cheap; and not because the recipient actually would love them..

princesskitty29

Merry Christmas one and all, I hope you had as good a one as you could. We were very lucky in the end, we all tested negative on Christmas Eve so my in laws came and spent Christmas day with us which was lovely. DS1 was awake most of Christmas Eve night as he couldn’t sleep for excitement, so neither of us had any sleep but we muddled through. I managed to get a Christmas dinner out and the relief when you plate up as you know it’s done and then the rest of the day is just relaxing!

 

I’ve had a little browse of the sales online but not much. I was getting a few bits for myself from Next when I saw a White Stuff padded scarf half price that would be great for my auntie and a lovely midnight blue hairband for my SiL so just two presents to squirrel away so far. I actually need more cards and wrap which I would like to get in the sales but I’m trying to avoid the shops as I’m hoping to go and see my mum and I never see any good bargains for those online.

 

Spendless I’m really sorry the day wasn’t enjoyable for you, I think you were right to have it out with DH as it’s your day as well and everyone needs to be taken into consideration. Hopefully he has taken this on board and you will have a much better one next year.

 

Clumsy good to hear from you! I do hope you woke up feeling better and enjoyed your Christmas.

 

pixtotts good to hear from you! I know as you have your own business you feel you should do as much as you can but you have to look after yourself and give yourself some time. I’m really sorry to hear about your grandad, sending lots of hugs. I hope we hear more from you in the new year!

 

Beshki I know what you mean, I would buy ‘bargains’ in the sales only to get to Christmas and not feel sure whether it was the best thing to give to the recipient, so I’m very strict about what I buy in the sales now.

Spendless

Thanks @Skibunny40 and @princesskitty29. We are having a 2nd sort of Christmas tomorrow when DS and gf arrive. They will receive their presents from us and other family members. DD's were halved on Xmas day, so will receive some more tomorrow. DD heavily hinted that DH has bought me something extra to make up. Not only was the dinner not great, but not all  his gifts to me weren't either. I'd requested an overnight bag so that I could have something packed and ready for last minute decisions to go visit DD in Scotland for example, but there's practical and practical and unwrapping a tube of toothpaste and 99p shampoo and conditioner the likes of which I wouldn't use on my hair anyway as it can go so frizzy, I only ever use certain ones _ that if he looked in the bathroom he'd actually know wasn't much fun. Nor was opening the PJ's that are 3 sizes too big and at my largest I was still a size under what he bought. Again looking in the wardrobe would tell him this, DD said she also told him I wasn't that size. You'd think he'd have learnt, 2 Christmas's ago he bought me boots 2 sizes smaller than I am. DD sent him a link to a lovely hairbrush set she knew I'd admired of hers and he bought another one because that one would be ok. I understand the idea behind the bits , it was so everything was in the bag, which was nice (ordered by DD on DH's behalf) but if he'd thrown the bits into it, or shoved them into a gift bag or something, that would have been a better idea, than each individually wrapped. I literally dreaded opening the next item.


The not listening to /consulting  me in favour of wanting to do what he wishes is part of a bigger picture that's been brought more to light since DD left home and he now realises how much he's upset me over it and and will work on not doing it (though I know he still doesn't totally understand where I'm coming from re the xmas dinner)   I realise that giving DH practical presents to buy isn't a great idea and just won't give him that sort of opportunity again. We will see what DD talked him into buying me instead though she said he still hadn't got a clue and she had to talk him out of a few things he was insisting I'd like.  

Treasurequeen

I hope everyone had a lovely Christmas. I found it all a bit hard to enjoy but relatives all agreed they too found it hard to enjoy. Mostly because of the unknown and them all feeling low in mood. I bought some boxes of biscuits in Tesco today for 75p each, the dates are October 2022. I eat a fair few biscuits so the three boxes I bought will save me some money in the coming months. There was a lot of older generation also buying them up. I’m hoping to venture out tomorrow to some sales but I had the jab today and not feeling too good this evening. 

3forholidays

@Spendless Hopefully tomorrow is a more harmonious day.

Christmas Day in the 3forholidays household was nice and quiet. No visitors so a very relaxing time was had by all. 🎄🎁🎅🏻

Spendless

Up early as per usual. DH and DD are setting off to get DS and gf in a couple of hours time. My Mum is going to come round mid morning and help me prep the buffet. The idea is they walk in around 1pm we eat and then afterwards we open presents. A bit of a different shake up in terms of the order and the food we usually have Xmas Day.

The dog has also been bought some more presents. The event on the 25th which did make me laugh the most, was dog was kept out of the way whilst I put main presents under the tree. This is because the dog has a present obsession, sticks it's nose into every bag you ever fetch into the house and will happily unwrap (and chew!) anything. When DD fetched him downstairs having kept him with her whilst she opened her stocking, I thought he'd see the gifts round the tree and grab the nearest one he could. No so, he sniffed his way through each pile until he correctly identified which lot was his then dived in unwrapping them. As I said he was reading the label on each just with his nose not his eyes like the humans do. Only once did he sort of get it wrong and that's when he nicked one of mine and started opening. This turned out to be because my Mum had bought a portable dog water bottle plus a collapsible travel bowl for his water when we go on trips with him, especially when we take him to see DD in Scotland. For some reason, she'd labelled the dog bowl with the dog's name but the water container with my name, so he wasn't completely wrong there either. This is why we've bought him some more bits for today , if I put the gifts round the tree again, the dog will again search for his share. 

I know exactly what you mean about seeing things now. This is the first year I've resolved not to do it and already I have seen so much stuff that I think DD would love at such a good price. But then at the end of next year, she'll be a few months off being 20. None of us know what she will be doing or where she'll be living by then, she'll have different needs and requirements  and I'll be regretting having already got her items.  When Debenhams was closing in the summer I was able to pick up some bits for DD's stocking at minimal prices and she really loved her bare minerals brush cleaner, silicone blender and skinny dip re-usable coffee cup. It's given me ideas of the sort of thing she loves to receive in a stocking nowadays as that too has evolved from how I used to do them. She said about the blender it's the only one she has now, the others having got bugs in it because she forgot to clean it - urrggghhhhh! Most years I buy one of these in the sales. This year I only have a novelty xmas tree one in my stash, but I will wrap that up for her later.   

princesskitty29

It’s all quiet here in that stretch between Christmas and New Year, we’re just playing with some of the new stuff the boys got for Christmas. We went out for a walk yesterday, it was raining but good to be outside after a few days cooped up inside. I’ve tried to have a little look at the online sales but I just have to accept that I really don’t enjoy online shopping, I zone out so quickly! Has anyone else had any luck? I’m thinking of popping to Tesco this morning, we need a few bits plus I can see if they’ve still got any reduced wrapping paper I could snaffle up.

 

I’m happy to set up a new thread for 2022 unless you wanted to do it 3forholidays? I don’t want to step on any toes but equally I know you’ve done it for a few years now and it might be a bit of a chore. I know the numbers on this thread have reduced greatly but I do still enjoy having somewhere to come and have a natter about Christmas at any time of the year with like-minded people, or anything else going on in life for that matter! Hopefully as time goes on covid will become less of a menace and people will start rediscovering their Christmas spirit again.

 

Spendless I do hope you have a better second Christmas day today when your DS is at home with you.

 

Treasurequeen I know what you mean, Christmas last year and this year haven’t quite felt the same have they? I think that’s why quite a few people on here have drifted away because Christmas spirit has waned a little bit. I struggled with the build up to Christmas because even though we could go out and do stuff covid is a constant worry, I look forward to the day when we can enjoy the festivities again without always having to think about it!

 

3forholidays good to hear from you! I wondered if you were still around, I’m glad you had a relaxing and enjoyable Christmas.