* Driving Home for Christmas * - It's the 2021 Christmas Chatter Thread!

Spendless

The family sensitive issue over buying for adult niece now in 30s is over. I got a message recently asking what alcohol my kids would like as their gift. I explained that one wasn't really a drinker and the other is unable to have it due to a medication clash. As this clearly threw their anticipated gift buying out I  then asked DH to tactfully and positively suggest that now all of them were adults and DS had a fiancee too it was time to stop buying and this was agreed on. I'd re-purposed one of DD's gifts anyway for neice, so will now just take that back into my present cupboard to either give her or Ds' gf at a later stage.Relative DH spoke to then 'reminded' him that we bought for one of his Uncles. On telling me this when it's me that does all the gift buying except any I hand on to him because I am stuck, I point out we actually stopped doing this some years ago and if his relative wishes to carry on buying for Uncle that's their choice, we won't be re-instating. I am so relieved that finally my present list is direct 'relatives' in the form of my Grandparents, parents, our kids and any long term/serious boyfriends/girlfriends they have plus each other. It feels like it's been a very long time coming. 

Beshki

This is the time I find the hardest I think, difficult not to overspend and go mad as we go into panic mode! So far have resisted, although ‘bits’ to finish off peoples presents have cost more than I would’ve liked - wine, chocs etc.

kerri_gt

@Spendless glad the difficult family present situation has resolved itself, I know it's bugged you for a while.

@Beshki I know what you mean.
I think OH is finished although i feel I've just picked up bits for him along the way.
Realised I still need to get part of my DB (bought him a picture but really need to frame it so it doesn't get pulled or damaged by the kids when he tries to unroll it otherwise, plus it's easier to wrap than a tube 😂
Still looking for something extra for DM. I will try and get her some nice xmas flowers but she's 75 and doesn't need / want things. She doesn't have set hobbies and isn't into reading or anything like that so it's really hard.

Beshki

Starting to get a bit panicky that I haven’t bought OH anything. I’m going to pick up a couple of bags of coffee from an ethical supplier on Sunday but that’s all he has, and a book. I don’t want to buy for the sake of buying though, very difficult..

mandco

Spendless glad you finally got through to them and sorted the issue of not buying for extended family once they are adults it makes life so much easier and cheaper. 

Beshki def easy to over spend in the final run up esp if stores start to reduce things even more. I just brought oh a bottle of fragrance he likes but rarely buys as its expensive as it went on offer for 1/2 price which virtually never happens. I spent points on it so it was technically free but I have already brought him a bottle of his usual brand so he didn't actually need it. Then I feel like I've spent more on him so I should get the others something else and the cycle continues. I also gave dd her xmas money early as she's gone away for a few days and hasn't been paid yet but now I feel like I should get her something else so she has the same amount to open as the others. 

Kerri its so hard to but for some people and it adds quite a bit of stress to the xmas shopping. I used to make a small hamper for my nan all individual sized xmassy treats and things she often wouldn't buy for herself as she wouldn't want to pay the extra cost of the smaller sizes but refused to buy the bigger cheaper ones as she wouldn't eat it all. I usually manged to do it under £10 

My parcel stuck with hermes finally came and I got an email this morning ds picture is estimated delivery for Xmas eve so fingers crossed it will arrive in time

I've "lost" a couple of gifts I've brought so need to find those. Brought a jacket for dd's boyfriend that dd suggested but a little worried it won't fit as when it arrived it looks a bit on the small side but they don't have the larger size in stock so not sure what to do? They are away at the moment and won't be back till we are away so I can't even ask her to check. 

just 1 week till xmas eve 

Spendless

I've spent the fast few days congratulating myself on having finished shopping, only to realise this morning that unless DH has actually  ordered the gift/s for his Dad he mentioned , we still need something else for him.  Familiar form this is now DH's ONLY relative we buy for, the rest being 'my' family' or 'our' family.

DD came back from Scotland last night, burdened with baggage and gifts. Will need all sorting out today. We had thankfully booked her in 1st class at a later time - this was due to her missing the train home before when we booked a morning one and it was only a tenner dearer which we thought she'd probably spend on food and drink in second anyway. Her train got cancelled, we got a full refund and she was able to travel for free first class on an alternative train anyway - result!

She has also 'sulked' (I think she's kidding but as a drama student it sometimes can be hard to tell!) that her cousin got Xmas gifts upto being 30 and hers have stopped at 18 and has suggested she is  'owed' an additional gift by me until she attains the same age. Again I think she's kidding but I am so ready to do this as an 'inside' joke between me and DD till she's the same age as her cousin. As her Aunt was generous with amount spent but rubbish at actually buying gifts, it would also be funny to get her an item of the same calibre, but that would be a waste. *Perhaps* what I do, is use any free gift I get when making another purchase and make that the running joke item, not sure. 

DH spoke to DS and learnt they were skint. He survives on a minimum student loan, his gf hasn't found work and that they weren't buying each other Christmas presents because of it. DH sent him £20 and told him the story of what me and DH did in one of our early Christmases together  when we were also skint(we were older, but at the same relationship stage they are) we took a set amount and had to go and buy the other one something with it. DS loved the idea and said him and gf would go out that afternoon, split up and both look for the best gift for the other one with £10 each. Now I could step in further and offer DS the present that was originally DD's that I then re-purposed for adult Neice and has now gone back into 'gift stock' to give her and buy something for DS for his gf to give BUTM e and DH have talked about the year we did this so much, I actually like that we have passed this on to our son and it did make me smile to think maybe in another 25 or so years time, the idea will go from them to another generation.

Another 'debate' with DH about Christmas dinner. He has had his own way over the starter and sprouts and then wanted to add cauliflower cheese. Now I love it, but my sis-in-law who is OCD about sauces and certain items touching won't want it with gravy too. That means going back to this plate doesn't want this, that doesn't want that one, whereas I want everyone being dished up  all the same save the meat bits for our vegetarian members I had to argue against a veg that I actually like. HOWEVER I got my own way. 

Today I have to get cards. My mum told me a month ago she found limited choice. God knows what it's like now.

Beshki

Feeling really quite like we have found a nice balance this year. We split up today to distribute gifts to our families (that we won’t see) and it had paid off to be organised. There are only a few gifts left in the house now, for my mum mostly, and it’s nice not to be buried under things! Usually by now I would be rushing round buying ‘extras’ but I’ve just bowed out this year and thought, will such a body really remember past January that I spent that extra ££££? The answer is of course - no. I also haven’t bought any Christmas food. We are with family for the dinner itself & have decided that anything else we like, we will go and buy as and when we want it. Avoiding waste - both food and Money

princesskitty29

Well pulling the boys out of school early proved to be fruitless, DS1 tested positive for covid 5 days later and then DH tested positive the following day. Myself and DS2 are still testing negative at the moment. To be honest with the amount of cases at the school it would have been a miracle to avoid it! Thankfully they are both doing ok, DH has lost his sense of taste and smell which has upset him as he is massively into his food plus he’s worried in case he’s one of those people who never regain it, but he’s also relieved if this is the worst that it gets as he has asthma and getting covid has always worried him.

 

They are due out of isolation on the 23rd / 24th, providing DS2 and I don’t get it, it will be down to my in laws as to whether they come and spend Christmas day with us. They can be very cautious with this kind of thing so we’ll see. I’m really sad that I haven’t been able to go and see my parents, my mum is starting to suffer the effects of her treatment now but covid strikes again and ruins plans. Hopefully I can get up there in the new year to see them.

 

We’ve had to cancel ice skating, the panto and visiting Father Christmas but trying to make our own fun, we had a Grinch themed evening last night and I’ve ordered a video of Father Christmas and a tour of his grotto so hopefully that will be good.

 

Well with a week to go I have loads to do – every year I do this! I was very organised with my present buying, but I always end up with lots to wrap, cards to write etc as we approach Christmas. If you look back over all of the threads from the past 10 years you will see me say EVERY year I will be ready earlier and it never happens! Perhaps I am better under pressure. I also have bunting to make as presents. To be fair I thought I would have the whole of the last week to myself without the boys at home but hopefully I can get it all done.

 

mandco you’re not insane, there are no rules on treats you want to give your children, as you say you feel he deserves it and what a lovely surprise it will be for him. I got the boys presents out the other day and realised I’ve bought them more than I thought, but we very rarely buy them anything during the year unless it’s something they need to I’m not going to beat myself up about it. Fingers crossed the picture comes in time!

 

Beshki it sounds like you’ve been very sensible, it’s so easy to get caught up in all the trappings of Christmas.

Spendless

I'm always last minute with some jobs too princesskitty despite starting early! I still have xmas card to write and have managed to misplace DH's bottle of moonshine. No idea where I've put it - frustrating to say the least!

mandco

Princesskitty  oh no what bad timing I hope they are doing ok and symptoms are mild. I know its ruined your plans but at least you know they weren't at school and spreading it any further. It must have been disappointing to have to cancel all your xmas activities but I'm sure they boys will enjoy the other stay at home activities you've manged to sort. 
I hope your mum & dad are doing ok under the circumstances and you get so see them soon - it must be hard to not be able to visit 

I'm also in the I say I'll be finished early every year but somehow never manage it club Really need to crack on with the wrapping or I'll be doing it xmas eve again. 

Spendless joking or not I do get where dd is coming from we brought for some of our nieces/nephews well into their 20's we agreed to stop buying at 18 but the others took that as once their youngest was 18 they didn't have to buy for anyone else anymore either so my lot being so much younger haven't had gifts from extended family for years and my youngest has never received a xmas present from any of our extended family. He doesn't know any different but it does bug me sometimes 

SDD is meant to be coming over xmas eve with the girls she not very happy at the moment as she'd planned a big birthday party for dgd2 to make up for the fact she couldn't' have one last year and now with the fact that more restriction are probably going to come into effect from the 27th its virtually certain that she'll have to cancel again so thinking I might do a little birthday tea type buffet xmas eve as we probably won't be able to see them on her birthday now.

Present wise I'm pretty much finished I just need to order a couple of tops up but they get sent as an email code so I can do that last minute. I did order a couple of things for someone that were meant to be here before xmas I order well before the cut off but they haven't even been dispatched yet so I've written those off and picked up something else -its his birthday in Jan so he can have them then instead. Need to do a top up for fresh items as most of the dates were today/tomorrow but otherwise the main food shop is done.

I'm probably just weird but the last few days I've been feeling a bit sad that xmas is nearly over already I think its all the doom & gloom of pending restrictions and facing a fairly bleak start to the new year yet again