Feel sick, need some help

iwannabefree

Hello. Never thought I’d be back here with issues but here we are 😩

we feel bad enough about this as it is.
Bit of history. Got into debt many years ago to the tune of 60k through over spending, not the best of wages (HM Forces) but by no means rubbish, poor decision making and wife being off work with depression. Went through the IVA route and completed that in 2011. Great we thought.

Roll on a few years and left the Forces, bought our first house (aged 44) got a new pretty decent paid job 41k plus my military pension of just shy of 10k, wife has an ok job of 18.5k, so you would think we were doing ok, or should be. But we’re really struggling. You’d of thought we learnt our lesson last time, but no. I feel utterly ashamed and embarrassed at getting into this situation again especially at our age. We feel stressed and sick and can hear all the comments of why? How? Don’t worry we’re beating ourselves up about it enough. My wife is on antidepressants and has been for a long time. She smokes but is really trying to give up, she knows it’s not good in so many ways. She was drinking a fair bit but thankfully that has stopped. It did get to the stage where she was trying to win our way out by buying scratch cards with the obvious consequences there, but again, she has stopped that, just the smoking to contend with.

We’ve just added up our unsecured debt and it totals £41,348.20. A combination of loans, cc, and OD. I am shocked, sickened, and we feel utterly worthless. We have done a budget, which has helped a little over the last month, where we can cut back etc but we’re wondering if a dmp is the way to go or if we can get out of this ourselves. I will attach a SOA shortly

Feeling utterly dejected 😩 

iwannabefree

Statement of Affairs and Personal Balance Sheet

Household Information

Number of adults in household........... 4

Number of children in household......... 0

Number of cars owned.................... 2[b]

Monthly Income Details[/b]

Monthly income after tax................ 3104

Partners monthly income after tax....... 1240

Benefits................................ 0

Other income............................ 225[b]

Total monthly income.................... 4569

Monthly Expense Details

Mortgage................................ 1210

Secured/HP loan repayments.............. 0

Rent.................................... 0

Management charge (leasehold property).. 0

Council tax............................. 178

Electricity............................. 58.46

Gas..................................... 50.27

Oil..................................... 0

Water rates............................. 80 (upped DD to cover balance for 3 months) 

Telephone (land line)................... 0

Mobile phone....(x2 in contract)..... 70

TV Licence.............................. 13.37

Satellite/Cable TV..(obvious saving here)......................................... 101

Internet Services....................... 0

Groceries etc. ......................... 400

Clothing................................ 10

Petrol/diesel........................... 80

Road tax...(x2).......................... 35

Car Insurance..(x2)...................... 50

Car maintenance (including MOT)......... 10

Car parking............................. 0

Other travel............................ 0

Childcare/nursery....................... 0

Other child related expenses............ 0

Medical (prescriptions, dentist etc).... 10.4

Pet insurance/vet bills................. 23.23

Buildings insurance..................... 26.49 (combined with contents)

Contents insurance...................... 0

Life assurance ......................... 0

Other insurance......................... 0

Presents (birthday, christmas etc)...... 80

Haircuts................................ 20

Entertainment........................... 25

Holiday................................. 0

Emergency fund.......................... 0[b]

Total monthly expenses.................. 2521.22

Assets

Cash.................................... 0

House value (Gross)..................... 325000

Shares and bonds........................ 0

Car(s).................................. 9000

Other assets............................ 0[b]

Total Assets............................ 334000

Secured & HP Debts

Description....................Debt......Monthly...APR

Mortgage...................... 242595...(1210).....1.44%

Total secured & HP debts...... 242595

Unsecured Debts

Description....................Debt......Monthly...APR

Sainsbury’s bank loan..........7871.21...286.2.....7.1% (01/06/23)

Clydesdale bank................3568.61...133.3.....7.9% (28/05/23)

Barclays bank..................1871.02...82.65.....9.77%(02/2023)

Nationwide OD..................1500......0.........39.9

Halifax cc.....................6075......129.9.....0

Barclays cc....................1951......53.25.....0

Amazon cc......................642.9.....20........0

Nationwide loan................10134.9...253.9.....9.8

Virgin cc......................7733.52...192.......17.48

iwannabefree

Thanks for that useful comment XoCAlop no sob story here.

ryanm8655

Not sure what those replies were about...

Sorry to hear you’ve got yourselves into a bit of a mess but well done for owning it.

You seem to be missing the part of the SOA where it shows total available for debt repayments etc.

Once you have that then advice will be more forthcoming.

Are you able to meet the payments as things stand?

SewingMarie

Sorry, I don’t have any specific advice to add but I didn’t want to read and run after the other comment you received!

I just wanted to say, you have made the right first step by commenting here and acknowledging your debt. Right or wrong, you have been in this position before so although you may feel bad about your situation right now, you also know that you can get out of it. It seems like you have around £2k left over after essentials and before debt payments, which will help you greatly in being able to pay this off. Maybe start with some of the smaller ones to clear them, as though it may not save you money, it will at least help psychologically.

Hopefully someone will be along shortly with some more constructive advice.

warby68

I don't think that comment will stay there for long.
The whys and hows are important, not for people to berate you, but to understand the root causes. As you say decent income but still a lot of debt.
I get your debt payments to £978 pm and your expenses are £2521 so that's over £1000 of income not yet accounted for. Is the SoA aspirational and do you know where the money has been going? If not, a spending diary to see exactly where the problems are is useful or looking back on your statements if there is enough detail.
Has wife's smoking been accounted for?
Need to get a fair bit closer to how much you actually spend and how much is available for debts as that £1000 could clearly tackle the debts over 3y or so but is probably not all available.
My main tip at the beginning is not to rush and panic yourself into one solution. The debt took a long time to build up, it can take a while to get the right solution which is often a balance of things. Getting used to a budget, sticking to it and using the surplus to repay the debts is the obvious fix for someone with £1000 spare but lets see where you are when the spending is fully accounted for and how much of the £1000 is left.

iwannabefree

Thanks for the replies, don’t know why the first comments happened, reported anyway. Also don’t know why the SOA didn’t add up the figures, I pressed calculate. Have to have another look late when I feel a bit better.

Jude57

Hi OP and welcome. Please don't take any notice of the obvious troll. Help and support are here and the regular, knowledgeable members will be along to guide you.

I'm assuming the 2 other adults in the household are grown up children? And the 'other income' is their contribution? 

You mention a DMP as a possibility. A reputable provider will work through your budget with you (and I agree with Warby68 that your budget looks aspirational rather than actual) to see if you can afford your contractual payments to your creditors. You could run your figures through StepChange's online Debt Remedy to double check but in any event, never pay for debt advice or for informal debt solutions such as DMP's.

 In your case, you have an income of £4569, household costs of £2521, leaving £2048 per month to service your debts. If you allocate a nominal £50 per month to the Nationwide overdraft your contractual payments would total £1201 per month. So £2048 minus £1201 would leave you £847 per month after everything is paid and, put bluntly, you wouldn't qualify for a DMP as you can, on paper at least, meet your monthly payments.

It's often recommended here that you go back over, say, six months bank statements to see what you've really been spending and on what. There's over  £800 per month to account for to start with. Once you've tracked your spending you can start to tackle your debts. The first thing recommended is to start an emergency fund so that you won't have to rely on credit for repairs etc that crop up. £1000 is the minimum you should have, and setting some cash aside each month gets you into the saving habit.

I hope this is helpful and I'm sure others will be along shortly with more. Good luck OP.

iwannabefree

warby68 said:

I don't think that comment will stay there for long.
The whys and hows are important, not for people to berate you, but to understand the root causes. As you say decent income but still a lot of debt.
I get your debt payments to £978 pm and your expenses are £2521 so that's over £1000 of income not yet accounted for. Is the SoA aspirational and do you know where the money has been going? If not, a spending diary to see exactly where the problems are is useful or looking back on your statements if there is enough detail.
Has wife's smoking been accounted for?
Need to get a fair bit closer to how much you actually spend and how much is available for debts as that £1000 could clearly tackle the debts over 3y or so but is probably not all available.
My main tip at the beginning is not to rush and panic yourself into one solution. The debt took a long time to build up, it can take a while to get the right solution which is often a balance of things. Getting used to a budget, sticking to it and using the surplus to repay the debts is the obvious fix for someone with £1000 spare but lets see where you are when the spending is fully accounted for and how much of the £1000 is left.

The wife’s smoking is a scary £330 per month. She is starting patches provided for free by the NHS as of Jan 1st. We’re both stopping alcohol which is roughly another £80 😳, other little bits are Amazon Prime, can knock £10 of Sky straight away, have to wait til April to reduce it further as still in contract. £8 per month to cancer research, close relative passed away with it in her early 40’s. Will check what we owe in the water so there may be a saving there too. Will also have to check what our OD charges are as that has not been accounted for in the SOA.

both our stomachs are still churning over, it’s scary ☹️

elsien

Can the other two adults contribute more than they are doing at present? If the 225 is their combined share, that’s not a lot for rent, board and most bills. 

warby68

I'm sure the churning will ease as you get the full picture together and realise there is a solution.
Still not sure what has led you to build up the debts - obviously you don't have to discuss what you don't want to but it is important to identify and have them under control or resolved if any debt solution is to work properly.
If its periods of unemployment or you have been doing up a house for example then these can be confirmed as ended but if its lifestyle or hobbies or bad habits its harder to confirm its resolved. The smoking should probably be in the budget for now until your wife has (hopefully) succeeded.
There are bits and bobs in the SoA where savings could be made but the main thing at the moment is where has that £1k been going and have the debts stopped increasing?