Tightening the belts for unpaid leave

[Deleted User]

Went for our long walk yesterday and it was absolutely glorious.  Can't remember if I said but we have first refusal on a house which a friend's parents are downsizing from (but they won't sell until they find something to buy).  We've viewed the house twice and although we know the local area well, had never walked round it.  But we did yesterday and it was just fantastic, so a huge yes from me.  We obvs can't hang on for that house indefinitely and are looking at the same time, but it's comforting to know it is not coming to market and we have first refusal (though see later on in this post re that!!).

We had Zoom call with friends for friend's birthday.  It was good but we are now horribly hungover.  The "friend" who is kicking us out of here was on the call - her boyfriend is weird.  Very weird.  And I'm not keen on him.  Anyway, his brother is also looking for a house in a similar bracket to us.  I mentioned the house we have first refusal on (though gave no details other than the general area) and he piped up how his brother has put an offer in on a house in that area where the people are downsizing and it's not on the market - the pair of them were sniggering lots about it, basically trying to make out it was our house and that we weren't going to get it.  Given they are royally screwing us up the @rse re this place, I thought that was wholly insensitive and it made me very cross.

Then a bit later, he sat off camera but still listening to the call and not contributing.  That's just weird.  Then he f*cked off to bed without telling anyone.  Which I think is weird and rude given our other friend had paid for everyone's food and drink to enjoy together.  I do now think the sooner we are out of here the better.  And I just feel like they are not really friends.  She is fine, without him.  But he is cold and odd.

Anyway.  Ordered DC1 some undercrackers as we want to try to potty train him.  So think that was about £25 for 12 pairs.  Again though, DC2 can use them when he gets to that age so we will get a lot of use out of them.

Once recovered from hangover, think we will go for another long walk today.  Blow away the cobwebs.

Aspiration

Very strange  behaviour, definitely wouldn’t share any details about the off market house!

[Deleted User]

Definitely not doing @Aspiration!  It's almost as if they don't want us to get a house, despite the fact they are kicking us out of here.  Such odd behaviour.  DC2 being a nightmare this morning and just won't settle.  He was the same last night.  It's really really tough going when he's like this.

[Deleted User]

We spoke to our friend (the one who's parent's house we want to buy) and it is definitely not their house the chap's brother has put an offer in on - so that is good!  Today has been a complete write off as we have both been useless and hungover.  We are going to have dinner in a minute then go straight to bed (well, if DC2 decides he will sleep now).  Tomorrow is another day.

Have got a call tomorrow morning with my solicitors and hoping to FINALLY get to the bottom of what is going on.  I do wish they would revert to the buyer's solicitors when they say they will.  I need to make this point tomorrow.  Buyer completes on their sale on Thursday and has said they want to complete on purchase of mine ASAP after that.  So I just really want it to go through now.

I've also made a decision - I am fat and slovenly - particularly my arms.  I disgust myself.  So, tomorrow, DH is going to sort out the C25K app on my phone (as I have forgotten my password etc and can never be successful in re-setting it for some reason) and connect up the wireless headphones and I am going to start it.  I am also, if the flat sells, going to keep back £1,000 from the proceeds and that is going to be used to re-engage my old personal trainer 2-3 times a week.  We got married after I had DC1 and I was so fat I didn't fit into the wedding dress I'd bought previously (long story).  I went to try it on in the Feb and we were getting married in the June and she couldn't get the back to do up (by quite some way!).  She offered to take it out but I said no.  Anyway, I engaged my personal trainer 3 x a week and also did weight watchers and lost LOADS of weight.  When I went back to try it on a week before the wedding, I had lost so much she had to take it in!  So, though the healthy eating isn't going to start just for the moment, I can do the C25K (I once ran a marathon on 11 weeks training but haven't really run since and am A LOT bigger) and then, presuming the flat sells, I can get the trainer on board and start the healthy eating just as we are moving into better weather.

astrocytic_kitten

Not a fan of this negative self talk (you’ve just had a baby! In a pandemic!), but I do think the C25K and PT could be brilliant for you to get some time to yourself and help with general mood etc. Just don’t force yourself through it in a self-hating way and use it as an additional way to beat yourself up. I used to have regular PT and miss the mental break I got from just being told what to do (and finding it so hard I literally couldn’t think about anything else other than doing one more rep).

The thing with your “friend” and her boyfriend is so odd...they seem totally lacking in any empathy.

[Deleted User]

Thanks @astrocytic_kitten - you are right - I need to not talk myself down so much.  I really did used to enjoy going to the PT/running as I always felt fantastic afterwards and I know that it shouldn't be about weight but I did feel SO much better when I could actually get into my normal clothes!!  Agree, it is very very odd.  Was talking to DH about it and we have concluded he is a sociopath.  And she is definitely a head burier and is easily led.  

Did the rest of the shop and was £82.02 as we needed things like bin bags, loo roll.  I also bought big box of diet coke as was cheaper per can than buying 2 smaller packs.  And we needed things like cheddar and yoghurt.  Even though we get a bit tub of yoghurt delivered once a week, it is not enough as DC1 eats huge amounts of the stuff.  And we are always going through cheese.  We also needed decaf coffee and treats such as crisps/chocolate/sweets/muffins obviously made their way in there.  DC1 also needed fish fingers.  His breaded chicken was on offer so got a pack of that even though we didn't "need" it, as he will eat it.

Today is another boring one as DH WFH.  DC1 with MIL (support bubble) this morning but will be picked up at 1230.  But will then have an afternoon sleep so I only have to deal with DC2 for most of the day.  This is now how our mons, weds and fris operate.  Tues/Thurs I have both of them on their own which is just mental.  Can't take both of them out together for a walk as don't have a double buggy suitable for DC2.

[Deleted User]

Gah so this sale thing is just really really getting me down.  They've now decided they are having a structural survey and have booked it for friday - not sure why they couldn't have done this earlier.  They have also raise 10 million more enquiries - it just seems like they are non-stop.  I shouted at both my kids yesterday and today as am SO stressed trying to sort this out, plus at the same time, contacting all the utility companies here re our move/final readings/new accounts/re-connection fees etc that the stress cup is overflowing and I keep having mini-meltdowns.  DC2 is currently screaming having thrown up on himself (and me - once after I had literally just showered and changed into clean clothes) twice already this morning and I am just leaving him for the moment as he needs to sleep and just won't.  DC1 not being too bad though keeps asking for cat videos as DH has been showing him videos of cats popping balloons and he's now obsessed.

Tenant has given notice and moving out 28 April.  Good on the one hand but, if they do extend the SD holiday, the buyer might try to complete in April instead forcing me to clear the property.  I'm not going to say anything until I hear what the Chancellor has to say tomorrow about that and also any tax rises.

Nursery have indicated they will open next week so we have to pay fees again.  I'm now glad I held back the money in my account just in case.

Should be a NSD today - only silver lining in a very dark cloud.  Doc put me on tablets for depression a few weeks ago but not taken them yet - considering it now - but I do know it is situational as this is all too much to be dealing with at once.

[Deleted User]

Oh forgot.  We are picking up a lovely second hand cot on Saturday.  It's a Boori one in lovely condition.  It's only £40 (they are v expensive normally).  It is from a friend of two friends of mine who advertised it locally and I said yes.  Basically, DC2 will need to go into a cot bed as a cot from end April (as he will outgrow his baby cots from 6 months - we can sell those on which may cover the cost of the new cot).  So, even though it is more stuff for the movers to move, it was too good an opportunity.  We've said we don't want the mattress as we will buy new (and I'll just order that when we've moved) but I was looking at cot beds the other day and it was going to be £££ to get him one so this is a bargain.  And Boori will always sell on so can probably re-sell for same amount and it's paid for itself and will last DC2 until 4 anyway.  That is good from an MSE point of view as it is a necessity for him to have a cot bed.

astrocytic_kitten

My GP said something to me a while back when I was struggling with my diagnosis and the restrictions it put on my life and felt very low. It was something along the lines of situational depression is still depression, and it’s still worth treating to help you live with it. I can’t remember exactly what she said, I only know it was put MUCH better than that and it really changed the way I felt about it (I’d been depressed before and was clear that this wasn’t something from within, like that, but a reaction to external stuff).

[Deleted User]

@astrocytic_kitten - sorry to hear you have struggled too and you do make a good point.  Maybe I will think about that.....

Yesterday wasn't a NSD as needed some stuff from b**ts on the way home from dropping DC1 and also posted my friend's baby shower present and got books of stamps to put on all the thank you cards for DC2's presents when he was born.  Today also wasn't a NSD as ordered my parents some wine to say thank you for the money they sent for me and DC2.  But I had kept back some money from last month for my half of this so it was only an extra £4 to what I had budgeted.

Going to do "big shop" again tomorrow even though I only went Monday but it's cos we need things for the weekend and also for DC1's lunches when he returns to nursery monday.  As ever, hoping it won't be too much but we do need wine and also formula.

Property sale still not moving much.  They're still raising enquiries and asking for documents.  I am hoping we are now almost there and that the survey goes ok tomorrow.  I mean, the wall has been removed since 2004 and everything is still standing so not quite sure how there can be a problem....  I suppose, if it does fall through, at least if tenant goes end April, it will be easier to sell without her in.  Plus, the fact they have now extended the SD holiday and brought in 95% mortgages might mean that it is easier to sell if it falls through.  But I do just want it over now.