Tightening the belts for unpaid leave

[Deleted User]

Thanks @Buffythedebtslayer - you are right.  It's the stress and worry which just isn't worth it.  Had a call with solicitors and estate agent this morning and just feel like it isn't going to go through - the buyer's solicitors are apparently being really difficult on absolutely everything.  I don't think the extension to the stamp duty holiday will help this - the buyer may well go elsewhere - I just hope not.  Because I am now convinced having been up most of the night it is the right thing to do.

Today should be another NSD.  DH wanted me to go to supermarket and get more nacho stuff but I said no.  I will wait until weekend and try to eek out the NSD's between now and then.  Tonight is veg burgers, baps and chips from stores.  Lunch will either be eggs and toast or soup and toast, all from stores.  We are running out of bread however.  Milk and yoghurt were delivered this morning so I guess technically not a NSD but am treating it as one.

Had conversation with DH this morning.  He gets paid tomorrow (incl bonus) so have asked him to work out what is required for this month's spending (rent, bills, budget etc) and then take that off the total figure in his bank account (he does not have separate accounts) and that is the figure we use for the house, and we try not to dip into that over the next 6 months whilst I'm not being paid.  Have worked out that with what I have set aside for this, I can contribute £500 a month towards our costs, so we SHOULD be able to manage if we just tighten up our spending a little, without dipping into the house purchase budget I have set aside.

Sarahwithlove

Homes as pension fund is only good if you don't end up needing any care at home. Owning a 2nd property automatically means you would be paying for it yourself. I think upping your contributions would be a good idea. You can always downsize later on. But also make sure you don't overstretch yourself. Just because it's there doesn't mean you have to spend it. If you can get what you want within budget then stick to that but if you need to increase it a little then do so. You don't have to use all of the proceeds. 

[Deleted User]

@Sarahwithlove - you're absolutely right and if we find something we love within original budget then we will definitely go for that - we are not going to spend it "just because" however, we also don't want to ever have to move again (until we are old) so that is definitely a factor.  If we don't spend it all, that will be great as I will just whack a bunch (within tax limits) into my pension now, and then look to up the monthly contributions when the sprogs start school.

So unfortunately not a NSD as DC2 is possibly teething, or just likes putting stuff in his mouth - so bought him one of those matchstick monkey toys - but my share only £4.16 so not too bad.  Removals co dropping off boxes for our move today - we don't have huge amounts to pack as most of our stuff stayed in boxes in the spare room here after we moved last, but I can make a start on some of the other stuff which needs to be packed away.

Also need to look into hiring a carpet cleaner.....One good thing my friend IS allowing is that we move on the Friday but she is allowing us to have the weekend to clean.  Not broached whether she's charging us rent for those 2 days but, given that she's really made things very difficult I'd hope not.  We are obviously going to make sure the place is left as we found it, DH is going to paint over the (small) marks on the walls made by movers/stair gate/DC1 and make sure lawn mowed/garden weeded/windows washed and I am going to clean place from top to bottom and clean the carpets.  Plus, we want our full deposit back!

astrocytic_kitten

I’m exhausted just reading about all you have to do, hope you get good news on the flat sale 🤞

Any chance you could encourage DH to open up a separate account for the house money in, to avoid it being chipped into for nachos? (I’ve been craving nachos so badly since you started talking about them!)

[Deleted User]

@astrocytic_kitten - thank you!  I am going to try to encourage it, particularly if he can open one online with his bank.  I'll add it to his list of tasks.  He is rather useless at remembering to do stuff and I have to remind him about seventy-billion times before he does what's required.  Problem is: after having 2 kids, my memory has now gone to !!!!!!, so I forget to remind him quite often!!

Got to give notice to all the utility companies as well/arrange final meter readings/phone and broadband move etc.  Plus change driving licence (though this will be after we move), insurances for car/house, get post re-directed etc.  I'm not entirely sure my friend realises just how disruptive (not to mention expensive) this is for us all.  Will also need to update doctors/nursery/bank/tax office/work/private health/dental, the list goes on, with our new (temporary) address.

I WILL NOT be buying my friend a bl00dy drink the next time I see her!!!

Blackcats

Ha ha to 70 billion reminders - I've told you a trillion times not to exaggerate!  

If I were you, I'd work out your rent up until the Friday and just pay that - it's more awkward for your friend to charge you for the extra 2 days then in case she was thinking of asking for it.  

Buffythedebtslayer

I like Blackcats idea. 
I too am exhausted by what you do. And your friend can do one. 
I just write things down or I forget! 
XXX

[Deleted User]

@Blackcats - yes, our lease actually expires on the friday (rent paid in advance so has just been paid for the calendar month ending then) and she's said we can have the weekend to aid the move/clean but obvs has our deposit, so just hoping she doesn't take 2 days rent out of that!  I will be very cross if she does, because the other people aren't even moving in until the following week anyway, so it would be empty anyhow!

And honestly - that is NO exaggeration with my DH!!!  (ha ha).  He is taking DC2 for his 16 week jabs today (as I am so bad with needles).  He has to give him 2.5ml calpol after (as these jabs give a fever often) but is used to giving DC1 5mls so I've just had to shout up the stairs to him that it's 2.5ml only and will he remember.  I will send him a whats app reminding him when he leaves!

@Buffythedebtslayer - yes, I am exhausted too but it's nothing compared to what you are dealing with on a daily basis.

Today should be another NSD - lunch is our usual of soup and toast.  Dinner is lasagne and garlic bread from stores.  Looking forward to the spring/veg season when it might be easier to eat healthily - fruit and veg are just yuck at the minute.

DH phoned the place we got the corked wine from and they have given us credit, so we need to pick a different bottle and they will deliver, so that's good.

Of course, buyer getting knickers in a twist saying my sols hadn't responded to x and y - turns out her sols haven't responded on the rather important point of taking it with tenant insitu!  So I've now been chasing EA to get her to get her sols to respond.  Apparently they couldn't get hold of her yesterday, which worries me as given it's been announced they are looking to extend SD holiday, is she thinking of going elsewhere?!  I guess what will be will be, but I kinda feel that as I've had stress with this sale since mid-dec, I'd really like to just get shot of it now.  Not to mention having spent on lawyers fees..........

Don't think we will be leaving the house today as weather is pants.  DC1 being very clingy - he woke at 6 screaming blue murder as think he'd had a nightmare and has just wanted me ever since.  So I am typing this with one hand as I'm cuddling him and he's watching Blues Clues and You (an infuriating programme he is obsessed with and constantly asks for!).

[Deleted User]

Bit of a fail on the NSD - was discussing last night that DC1 now ready for a duvet and pillow as opposed to a gro-bag and, as we are moving into spring, the gro-bag we have (2.5 tog) is now going to be too hot for him.  So ordered him a duvet and pillow.  It was free delivery over £50 (JL) so added 2 UV body/swim suits for him for the summer (as he spends a lot of time on the beach) so that was £62 (my share £31).  But, once he graduates from his cot bed, he will need a different duvet size and that should coincide with DC2 needing to move to a duvet/pillow so it will get a lot of use.  Same with the swim suits.  So really, it's not too bad.  Then he obviously needed covers for the duvet/pillow which we got from elsewhere as JL didn't have much that I liked.  And decided to get him two new fitted sheets.  So with delivery, that was £84 (my share £42).  Again though, DC2 will be able to use those later on and in April will be moving to a cot bed (will have to order that end March so quite ££ but they are very sellable after you've finished and last them until around age 4) so can use DC1's current fitted sheets.  So at least we are getting a lot of use out of everything.

Got to do a big shop today but not yet made a list.  Don't think it's going to be too bad as we still have some decent stores from last week.  Milk and eggs were delivered this morning too.

Going to try to get out and about with the kids today as the weather is looking lovely.  Might go for a nice long walk with them and get some fresh air.

[Deleted User]

Did a big shop. Ended up at M&S as DH wanted a thai box for our friday night but, as I had to queue for so long to get in, I decided I may as well make it worth it so got majority of shop from there.  Was £56.  Still need to get a few things couldn't get in there but shouldn't be too bad.  Ordered DC1 a potty training sticker kit but that was only £3.25 and if we can get him potty trained we will save a fortune on nappies.  Budget is going ok this month.  We had loads of eggs to use as we now get them delivered every friday so we have had croissants with cheesy scrambled egg for lunches last couple days - also meant using up some cream we had so making quite good use of what we needed to get rid of.

Tonight is a Zoom call with friends for a friend's birthday and he is very very kindly paying for food and wine to be delivered to all our houses so we can all enjoy the same things together.  So there's that.  But it will likely mean a horrid hangover tomorrow and I could really do with some quality sleep.

Going out for a long walk this afternoon with the DC, just waiting for DC1 to wake from his nap.  Will also drop off some baby things at a friend's front door - breast pads, maternity pads, compresses, and a bottle of alcohol free wine - no longer need them myself so someone else may as well make use of them.

I would really love a third child but I'll be 43 before we could start trying again and, though we could just about stretch to it nursery fees wise, DH is not keen on a third.  I just can't seem to hoof off the now no longer required baby clothes, just in case.  Even though I know we'd be extremely lucky to even conceive a third, let alone worries about disabilities/defects etc.  I just don't think it is going to happen.  I think a lot of people won't understand and will be like "just be grateful for what you have', but it's precisely because I am SO grateful for what I have, and can see their little personalities, and watch them grow, which makes me want to do it all again.  But don't think DH will go for it.  He said we will have the conversation in September and make a final decision then.