Now or never

Its_time

Have now thought about Christmas and birthday plan, firstly DIL's birthday will be paid from the overpayment to debt this week, we will just overpay less rather than pay it off the debt and then use the card for her birthday, still need to decide what to get her or what to do for her.  Christmas I am not sure about, I think I need to decide what we can afford to spend and then work out a quick saving plan between now and then to pay for it this year, next year we will set aside money each month. 
I usually give my DS and DD £250 each for them and their partners to share so would like to keep that going,  then there's my Mum to buy for.   DH has said he would like us to get each other something as there have been so many years without us bothering so we are going to set an amount and we can not go over it.  
I'm still not sure how to pay for Christmas, it's either got to come from paying less to the debt or from my business either way we ARE NOT using the cards or the overdraft.
Have still got most of my todays jobs to get through.

joedenise

@Its_time I would suggest you pay for Christmas with what you would normally overpay, just make sure you pay the minimum.  Good idea to start putting away something each month towards Christmas next year particularly you still plan to give DS and DD £250 each plus buying other gifts.  That's a lot of money to find in such a short time this year.  Would it be more sensible to cut this back this year to make it possible to still make some overpayments?

Its_time

@joedenise oooo it's dealing with my demons.....I suppose I need to give to feel like I am a good Mum.  It's definitely not for our childrens benefit as they have good jobs and although would like it obviously are not in need of it and would without hesitation tell me not to give it and mean it.   Ummmm, I can cut down a bit maybe £200 each. This is another difficult one... I wont make a decision just yet I will see how things go, rather than commit myself either way I can always decide the week of Christmas as I give them a bank transfer, by then I will know how things are going and how much we actually have.  One thing I have decided and am sticking to is not using the credit cards or overdraft to pay for presents etc.
DIL's birthday and mine and DH's Christmas present might be sorted, I found a Marks and Spencers voucher from last Christmas for £50 we were given that we haven't used, there is also a chance that we might get another one from the same place again this year, that might be my Mums Christmas present sorted.....fingers crossed, I am going to have a look online at M&S later.
I am not finding time to update my accounts and when I do get a minute it is at a time where I feel I want to do nothing just sitting and watching telly so I have put a note in my diary to do them this weekend during the day.
@enthusiasticsaver I think I completely ignored one of your points as it was a bit much to digest, you asked if I had put the cards away.  I have to be honest and tell you this made me feel a bit sick so I just ignored it.  I spoke to my daughter about it today and she said if I am not prepared to put them away then I am still feeling like I need them, she gave me another good talking to and said 'it's not your money Mum, the money doesn't belong to you, the cards are financially and emotionally holding you back'.  I get it and logic tells me never to use them again but I am frightened, what do I do if something happens and we need money??  Maybe I will just put them out of my purse and make sure I don't use them and then when we have an emergency fund I might feel better.  It;s really hard going from having so much available credit (money that I felt was mine) to having nothing, it feels like I am poor now, I suppose that is the reality

Its_time

I am trying to stick to eating out of cupboards and freezer so today I made spag bol which I meal planned for but did not have any tinned tomatoes.  I usually have loads of them, so in a panic asked DH what could I do as I had already cooked the mince, mushrooms and onions.  We decided to use some tomato puree and beef gravy granules.....blooming delish!
I need to change our planned Saturday meal of pitta, salad and chicken because I don't have any salad and don't want to get any if I can help it, maybe chicken and chips.  Tomorrows meal is beef steak pieces in a gravy, will be slow cooked all day, poured over mash with veg.  Chicken dinner then on Sunday.  Next week I need to meal plan from the freezer and cupboards.
Need to make cakes and biscuits over the weekend.
My work went well today, have started working on the next piece, DD is helping me tomorrow so with any luck we might get quite a bit done, we are also going to finish off another of my jobs which will then go on eBay it literally just needs the last few bits finalised, I will be brave and get it done.
Pay day for job 1 tomorrow so the overdraft will be clear for two weeks, first step half done.
I am going now to create more virtual accounts and work out a plan for paying into them.
Thanks for all the help

enthusiasticsaver

Its_time said:

@joedenise oooo it's dealing with my demons.....I suppose I need to give to feel like I am a good Mum.  It's definitely not for our childrens benefit as they have good jobs and although would like it obviously are not in need of it and would without hesitation tell me not to give it and mean it.   Ummmm, I can cut down a bit maybe £200 each. This is another difficult one... I wont make a decision just yet I will see how things go, rather than commit myself either way I can always decide the week of Christmas as I give them a bank transfer, by then I will know how things are going and how much we actually have.  One thing I have decided and am sticking to is not using the credit cards or overdraft to pay for presents etc.
DIL's birthday and mine and DH's Christmas present might be sorted, I found a Marks and Spencers voucher from last Christmas for £50 we were given that we haven't used, there is also a chance that we might get another one from the same place again this year, that might be my Mums Christmas present sorted.....fingers crossed, I am going to have a look online at M&S later.
I am not finding time to update my accounts and when I do get a minute it is at a time where I feel I want to do nothing just sitting and watching telly so I have put a note in my diary to do them this weekend during the day.
@enthusiasticsaver I think I completely ignored one of your points as it was a bit much to digest, you asked if I had put the cards away.  I have to be honest and tell you this made me feel a bit sick so I just ignored it.  I spoke to my daughter about it today and she said if I am not prepared to put them away then I am still feeling like I need them, she gave me another good talking to and said 'it's not your money Mum, the money doesn't belong to you, the cards are financially and emotionally holding you back'.  I get it and logic tells me never to use them again but I am frightened, what do I do if something happens and we need money??  Maybe I will just put them out of my purse and make sure I don't use them and then when we have an emergency fund I might feel better.  It;s really hard going from having so much available credit (money that I felt was mine) to having nothing, it feels like I am poor now, I suppose that is the reality

I totally get the need to feel you want to treat your children but from the sound of it they would be annoyed if you were having to borrow so you can find the money to give it to them.  As your daughter says you need to get out of the mentality that the card is available money for you. She sounds like she is a great support for you. The lack of emergency savings makes you feel vulnerable so saving up for emergencies is a priority.  Similarly if you want to give money for Christmas you need to really be planning for that from January so the money is ready at Christmas. For your own mental sanity dealing with the finances once a week is fine.  Well done on resolving not to use the cards this Christmas. 

Its_time

We got paid today from Job no. 1 so there is now £210 in the emergency fund and £210 in the pets account and the bank account is in credit.  This made me happy today, I was filling up puppys bowl with her biscuit and thought about the cost of it, it's the royal canin puppy so it's not cheap, the old feeling of dread came over me and then left as I remembered we have already got £210 in the pets account, brilliant result!
We've set up lots of virtual accounts and over the next few months we will add to them.  Note to self one new account needed is for fuel, it caught me out today as I had to spend £50 filling up but that will last well over a fortnight, although I was a bit gutted as it was not budgeted for.  
I spent £6.50 in home bargains but it came out of my £30 shopping for the week so that was another win.
I am sure and feeling confident that if we keep this up we will be in a different place this time next year.
Busy day with my business, DH had a day off from his 2nd job so helped me with mine, DD also came over and helped and between us all we finalised the big job and also another one that has been hanging around for a few months which should bring in around £500 as soon as it is put on ebay.  
Tomorrow we have a new customer coming for a quote which is always a bit daunting as it is a big job again but DD is going to help me again and she is very excited about it.
Friday nights are often takeaway nights as we tend to work late and then I can't be bothered to cook, no takeaway tonight!  Saved around £25 there!
Hoping to have some more of DH's yummy money on Sunday so will pay all of that to the debt Our main bank account is covering the minimum payments and as we have stopped overpaying so much from that account and have put smaller amounts into the emergency, pets fund etc. the account is looking better, this then leaves all DH's money to overpay, at the moment we are overpaying No. 3 which is on 24.5%.  
Bedtime now as it has been a very busy day

Its_time

Frugal things today, made yorkshire puddings from 2 packs of batter that were out of date this month and eggs that were out of date yesterday.  Had some with tea tonight and the rest will be put into the freezer.
Tomorrow will make cakes with the rest of the eggs and freeze them so DH doesn't eat them all 🤣

Its_time

I've had a lovely lie in reading my phone catching up with diaries, DH got up and took puppy for a wee and has stayed up, it's been a lovely treat as my alarms goes off and I am normally up within seconds.  
I need to set up two new virtual accounts today one for diesel and one for little spends, yesterday in homebargains DH wanted double deckers, his favourite,  i had a real dilemma as I didn't want them to be out of my £30 shopping, they're luxuries!! Anyway that's where they came from but we need a little account with a small amount in it as we do need little treats sometimes. 
I'm throwing quite a bit at the pets account atm, I don't think we will need that amount sent over on a regular basis, maybe once its up to £1000 I will cut back and just top back up to £1000 each month.  The same with the emergency fund.
The bank account is in credit now but is not all free money, its made up of all my virtual pots, if I had separate bank accounts for my pots it would be overdrawn, but its still a huge result because normally it would be overdrawn now without any money in pots.  I've done it this way to save on interest, in a few months it will be fully in credit even if I took every penny from all the virtual pots out of it.
I've got a customer due today, once that's sorted I'm going on a house clean (that's the plan in theory), and cake make as we have friends calling in tomorrow, maybe a nice film and a cuppa this evening.

Its_time

So my customer has been sounds very positive but obviously I do still need to quote.  
How long do eggs last after they've gone past their BB date? I have 8 left that went out of date on the 11th so only 2 days.  I've used 2 in some cakes today, made 22 fruit muffins.
We are out tonight babysitting our DGC so what to do about our tea??  It's too early to have it before we leave and will be too late when we are back, sooooo being a lot more frugal that usual we are cooking a pizza at home and will then eat it cold when we are there and will pick up 2 bags of chips in their village to go with it, the cost shouldn't be more than £4 including our pizza, paid from change in my coat pocket, which is a far cry from the normal takeaway we would have bought for about £25 which would have been put on the  credit card.  Even though I found the change for the chips, I still need to be aware of where the money would have come from if I hadn't found it, so it would have come from the shopping £30 this time.  Its really making me more and more aware of how we need to be prepared and organised with our money.

Its_time

There are so many amazing diaries on these boards, I can't keep up !!