NST DECEMBER Don't Be a Martyr for Christmas

mothernerd

Even though bad things and a few that could be classed as disasters happened (one sick child wanting a bath,helping one child make a model dinosaur - stopped to put the buffet on the table. Eldest carried on with his model and put a piece on back to front, was trying to fix it/ calm him down when bath water started to pour in through the ceiling - oops), my family Christmases as a grown up have mostly been happy. Childhood ones were great, once my father had gone to work - we all breathed a big sigh of relief that we could relax and enjoy the day. Dad always worked on Christmas Day as he was paid triple time and had very few passengers to deal with (each year we had the legend of the man with a six foot Douglas fir with two toddlers clinging to the top, asking why he couldn't get on the bus - not sure if it ever happened, sounds more like a Thelwell or Giles cartoon).

Before he left the house he would glare at us for daring to make noise or play with our presents, alternating between that and making dramatic pronouncements on his 'pathetic' pile of gifts. Not that he bought presents. When I was ten he bought me six felt tips from the newsagent - they were a new thing then and I was really happy with them. When I was 15 he bought me a box of 3 jigsaws. A friend of his was sleeping on our couch at weekends so that he was allowed visits from his children (think he was working as a driver of lorries or coaches and sleeping in his vehicle the rest of the week). At Christmas he physically marched my father to the toy shop, asked him for suggestions for what to buy us and made dad buy us each a present too. When she had been married for 18 years mum worked out that she had received 3 presents in total, including a 1/4 lb of toffee a passenger had given him.

One New Year dad brought a tall dark stranger home (think he'd gone back to our old house and talked to the man who was now living there) hoping to upset or embarrass my mother and grandma. They foiled him by making the stranger welcome and doing the traditional Scot's welcome thing. I'd already gone to bed and pretended I was fast asleep (it was about 2 am on New Year's Day).

I'm grateful, today and every day, for the gift of laughter, for seeing the funny side of every setback, mishap, would weep if would help crisis in my life. I may be down for a while, but then I bounce back.

On the commercialisation thing. I read a book called 'The Virago (feminist publishers) Book of Christmas Stories. One story, written in 1958, is bemoaning the commercialisation of Christmas. Even the Greek philosophers complained about 'the youth of today - uncouth, untidy and no respect for their elders'.

DawnW

Mothernerd, if you are still having problems getting a microwave can I suggest you look at AO.com, who have a good selection of whatever appliance you can think of, good prices and good customer service. Always the first place I look. I have needed to replace my washing machine and dishwasher over the last couple of months, and they didn't put a foot wrong.

mothernerd

DawnW said:

Mothernerd, if you are still having problems getting a microwave can I suggest you look at AO.com, who have a good selection of whatever appliance you can think of, good prices and good customer service. Always the first place I look. I have needed to replace my washing machine and dishwasher over the last couple of months, and they didn't put a foot wrong.

Thanks, microwave is ticked off. Today's quest is for tubs of chocolate. Mum usually buys about ten (well she says what she wants and some muggins goes out and finds it). I remember last year she wanted an assortment and I was standing there in Morries trying to work out the optimum purchases (some 2 for £7 - £8 and some 3 for £10 I think). I did ask weeks ago as I was worried about restrictions on purchases - if they were only going to let me have 2 or 3 it would take several weeks to get the required number. However it wouldn't be worth the cost of posting them so could knock off several. Ordered 2 off my own bat when they were 2 for £7 and put them in the Christmas cupboard. Mum claims she didn't hear me asking her.

Now she wants them 'when I'm putting an order in'. Explained that the two orders I did last Sunday were the one received last week and one due this week. I have looked at a few websites whilst looking at other things and typically Will Co has 12 products available from a list of 178 (I bought biscuits in store nearly as soon as they put them on display - okay I was looking to see if any of my favourite garden pots were still on the shelf, but thought I might as well get biscuits when I saw them). 2020 is definitely the year of get it when you see it, because it won't be there when you back. Also just keep checking every week until the thing you want comes back in stock. Some places had tins of chocolates but were much more expensive but think they were actually tins not plastic. I may buy one for myself because I was looking at cake tins (for storage not for baking in) and large tin plus chocolates is less than half the price of the cake tins I looked at.

Have told her she may have to settle for pouches/ share bags or Lynn Door type things. May have mentioned that this is why I have been buying my allotted 95 items every week, starting with non-perishables (when allowed to buy) so that last couple of orders could just be fresh fruit and veg, salad and short date items. Have I told you all how much I hate shopping?

f0xh0les

 I don't really have any disasters either, as a kid the tree went up and there were nuts in shells and a tin of 0uality Street, but it was not a big thing.  The tree lights were on and the big light was off.  It  really was a week with a tree, and one meal of roast beef.  Possibly a sheet of 12 mince pies were made, but that was it.  From age about 11 I got a multi-pack of socks and a  cheque - they just did not know what to do with us,  they were busy working and did not like cooking, or having kids around.  So it was all put down to 'consumerism'.  Funny how a Gucc1 bag  or a beaded M0ns00n cocktail dress  was not consumerism, but presents were .    Then they hit on the idea of sending us away to elderly disabled grandparents every school holiday - so the Friday the school closed, we were on the 7pm flight and returned home the the Sunday before school went back on the Monday.   They arranged to come over on Xmas Eve, and left again on Boxing day.  Probably for the best really. 

DH is totally not into C-word.  He finds the idea of seasonally appropriate foodstuffs ridiculous.  Why can you only buy mice pies September to December? They don't stop being tasty.  He would not bother.  The teenagers are not bothered by Xmas either, they are happy for the couple of weeks off school, but we do not do the trip over to the inlaws after a couple of years having to sleep on the floor of the Holyhead terminal when that stupid boat was late or cancelled.  There are more comfortable taxi ranks than that place.  Besides, they only pretended they wanted us over, but it was obvious they would rather not have bothered. So we stopped after 3 of years. They stopped inviting us anyway.  They gush about s-i-l coming 'home' every year.

So we just please ourselves really, we didn't do a big meal on the 25th for a long time as the kids were sent so many sweets they never really had an appetite for much more than a snack, so we made pizzas, or  sausage rolls and pasties, but DS4 is totally sucked in by the adverts, he wants the full on roast and groaning side dishes, so for the last few years I have done a (not beef) Wellington one day, and a (not) Gammon  roast another day, and a (not) Turkey roast at some point over Xmas week- but that is all bought in processed stuff and we don't usually use much 'meatless product' normally,  plus it is quite expensive and too salty half the time.   I try and remember to cut one thick slice of each and cut it into largish chunks, and make a 'Boxing day Pie' with any leftover veg and gravy so it feeds us more than one meal.     DS4 was a Xmas Eve Eve baby, so there is just celebration after celebration in our house in December  - End of term/ Solstice/ Birthday /Xmas /Trip out spending gifted money/ New Year.  

So as long as there are 'pulling explosives', paper hats, and a glorified roast dinner, they are happy campers.  It is not too expensive, and they are not avaricious. The older one does not want anything physical this year, so he will get money in his bank account, DS2 is saving for the new super duper fizzy wizzy Xbox and should get there with his Xmas money.   I am trying to get DS1 to apply for his provisional driving license.  The younger two have lists of things they would like, and DS4 will  finally get his mobile phone, as he goes to secondary school in September and needs to learn how to use it.  Cannot believe I will not have any kids in primary school after July.  Just as DS1 finishes his A levels, DS4 begins in yr 7.  They must think they will never be rid of my family! 

So that is the snapshot of our celebrations - dh cannot see the point, and for the kids it is all about the food,  we will not have anyone over, or go out with anyone else.   Then the wheel turns again into January and it starts all over again.

Did I mention DH has just applied for a new job? Best find a builder!

Kerry_Woman

Achieved another NSD today.  
Grateful for:
Being in contact with brother and sister.
Have put in birthdays in my 2021 diary and on my 2021 wall calendar.
Getting home from my walk before it rained.

greent

Worst Xmas day here was down to illness. DD was sick 4 times before 10am, so went back to bed. DH was in the depths of a really bad depression so slept all the time. DS2 was really quite poorly with bronchiolitis (sp?) but they decided not to admit him as it was a bad year for it and the hospital was full of babies - he was 11.5 months so not as desperate as the smaller ones and they decided as a 3rd time mum I could cope. I was early pregnant (8 or 9 weeks) with horrendous sickness and crippling exhaustion. The only person well was DS1 - who DH kept shouting at for being noisy (he wasn't- he was just playing with his new toys and amusing himself the best he could) - poor thing. Needless to say  I didn't cook that day! 

XMas day morning we have breakfast baps (so people choose what they want from sausage, bacon, egg, mushrooms, tomatoes) Dinner then isnt until about 3pm. We no longer have turkey as we decided that we didn't really like it, so why bother. Instead we have a big plump free range corn fed chicken and sometimes a small pork joint. We do have loads and loads of veggies and I do go a little over the top with things like pan fried sprouts with bacon, baked and glazed carrots, pan fried parsnips, carrots and squash, chargrilled broccoli, baked onions, cauliflower cheese, roast pots, mash, the obligatory peas, Delias red cabbage, Delia's bread sauce, sausage and stuffing parcels, millions of pigs in blankets and Yorkshire puds. All generally done from scratch, too - I know its a lot of work but I do enjoy it. Nothing goes to waste - we have roast dinner (inc the veg) freshly baked baps on Boxing Day and the following day and bubble and squeak any remaining leftovers.   

Today I am thankful for some YS bargains from Tesc0, for a builder visiting to quote for some work, for lots of leftovers getting eaten today (I decided not to cook the same for everyone so people would eat random things up!) X

mothernerd

Chocolates located, food delivery for Wednesday tweaked (11 items added, 4 out (a couple of things were unavailable), then will wait until weekend in case mum comes up with yet another list of random items. Mum has wrapped all the presents we have in the house, I have wrapped mine to her, lovely food to eat (discovering all the little packages in the  corners of the freezer - hidden by the ever increasing bag for brother's dog and a couple of things mum made using bits we had in (we had very dark duchesse potatoes yesterday, I kept thinking they were rock cakes). Windowsill, window frame and a couple of flat surfaces have been decorated and I have nested all the empty boxes and put them back on the top shelves of the cupboards.

More books and more cards arrived - will have enough to put the card tree up soon. Organised mum's pills (restocked the everyday tin, then filled up the back up box with the pills still in the chemist's bags. Found an ancient Argus catalogue so tore it apart and put it in recycling - lots gone into various bins. Package from the hospital came so I spent a happy time changing all the filters on my CPAP machine, putting the memory card back and assembling the new mask and adjusting all the straps (twice as I had nearly completed it before realising it was a dual size one and I needed the head frame that was wrapped out).

Today I am grateful for my bed (woke early then slumped in the afternoon), for new masks and all the wonderful NHS staff, for books and candles and fairy lights and yummy food.

mothernerd

Tuesday 15th December 2020
Forgiveness
Forgive anyone who caused you pain or harm. Keep in mind that forgiving is not for others. It is for you. Forgiving is not forgetting, it is remembering without anger. It frees up your power, heals your body mind and spirit. Forgiveness opens up a pathway to a new place of peace where you can persist despite what happened to you.

Forgive yourself first
Release the need to replay a negative situation over and over again in your mind. Don't become a hostage to your past by always reviewing and reliving your mistakes. Don't remind yourself of what should have, could have or would have been. Release it and let it go. Move on.

Forgive yourself 
for the bad decisions,
for the times you lacked understanding,
for the choices that hurt others and yourself
Forgive yourself
for being young and reckless.
These experiences are vital lessons
and what matters most right now is your willingness to grow from them.

Choose every day to forgive yourself.
You are human, flawed and most of all, worthy of love.

Being quarantined with a talkative child is like having an insane parrot super glued to your shoulder.
 

Toni'sfriend

Yesterday was NSD No 10 and very quiet.

I think we now have the parcel sagas sorted and a lovely lady from the health centre phoned to say she'd sorted out the missing prescription and put them into the chemist for collection. 

Got to venture out today to the hairdresser.

DrCarrie

Totally blown the budget, hiding in my shell from shame.