Cutting it Fine - the challenge is on!

savingholmes

Yes I think the weather is bad all over - with some places worse than others. Even wrapped up inside it's scary to listen to. I've had my heating on all day today for a change where recently I have been trying to manage without until the evening. It has been nice being warm.

SandyShores

I had a lovely sleep last night, partly because I didn't sleep so well the night before because of all the wind and rain.  Its not great today, but I appreciate it not being so stormy.  Morning exercise done, so I can relax a bit today

Nice that you can put the heating on and have a nice warm cosy home @savingholmes.  We sometimes need those moments

savingholmes

Glad you slept well and got some exercise

SandyShores

Thanks @savingholmes.  Your thread always gets me thinking.  I've just left a comment about personal trainers - not a great experience for me there, but I tried it and you never know what will work for you.  I spent about £200 - and it annoyed me to think that was five aromatherapy massages I could have had instead if I'd just had free walks!

I read a great article the other day about how some people are so used to tending to other people's needs, they forget about their own completely.  One of the tips is to stop and ask yourself how you are feeling each day and then adjust your day to match.  It worked for me the other day as I realised I felt really low, so I cancelled everything I could and made everything else low key.  So much better than trying to power through everything, making a hash of it and feeling worse.  Such a simple concept but I'm not used to putting my own needs over other people's, its very freeing.

Here's the link if anyone wants a read:   https://www.elephantjournal.com/2020/04/why-we-struggle-to-set-boundaries-and-how-to-reprogram-this-pattern/

Its true that being tired and gaining weight can go hand in hand.  Tiredness goes along with comfort eating and we are less likely to go for a walk or make a healthy meal if we're shattered.  I'm getting better at putting my own needs first, but it means others have to adjust too, so its a bit stop-start.

I'm finally starting to incorporate exercise into my life again - and that's only been possible by putting my own needs first so I have the energy and space.  Feeling healthy and eating well is the most important thing, hopefully weight loss will follow but it will be the icing on the cake rather than the main focus.

savingholmes

A good article. I am one of those who had to learn boundary making as an adult - and who over-empathises with others to the point of blurred boundaries. For me that whole process therefore takes work. I've started to realise how often I've subjugated my own wants, needs and desires to please others - which would not have been so bad if they did likewise but they didn't. I'm therefore now trying to consciously work out my wants, needs and desires and my boundaries - and like the article said - "let the universe take the trash out." I.e. those that reject me for setting boundaries - perhaps shouldn't be a part of my life anyway.

Glad that you are exercising more - and paying attention to your general self care. I'm glad I didn't push through Friday as I was feeling terrible. I possibly should have taken the day off sick but don't want to let people down or have a bad sickness record. The last year hasn't been great for attendance so don't want to create further issues for myself... 

SandyShores

Just updating my Xmas Saver.

SandyShores

I've made a couple of efforts to update here but got interrupted each time and lost my post.  I love the saying about letting the universe take out the trash.  I've tried so hard so many times to please people and I should have just let the universe do its thing!  As well as asking myself how I feel in the morning before planning my day, I've started asking myself what I want from a transaction/communication as well.  Its really helped me work out what I want to say and do, for example if someone offends me in some way, being grumpy isn't going to achieve anything - apart from being in a mood.  Whereas telling them gives some satisfaction and the possibility of them apologising.  Or you can choose to do nothing if there isn't anything you want to happen.  I'm not sure if I'm explaining it properly, but its kind of freeing as you can just let things go rather than brooding over them.

I'm dreadful for battling through savingholmes, but we really need to have our rest especially if we are ill.  Glad to read on your thread that you've had a restful few days.

savingholmes

Thanks Sandy - yes I've had some better days this week which definitely helps. Still trying to make myself do the CH account filing but so scared of getting it wrong hard to push through and do. I think it would only take 10 minutes... I'm going to try and do it tomorrow.

I'm going to write that phrase in the front of my journal. It's a big part of walking in more integrity - stopping people pleasing so much. Because in the past I seemed to offend people so easily - I hadn't even realised it was a trap I'd fallen into... 

SandyShores

Better days definitely help saving.  I'm finding more and more better days lately and hope you do too.  Good luck with the filing, I seem to have a few things that I've put in the 'scared to start' box, that I really should do.

People pleasing definitely feels like a trap I was drawn into, but I think I'm slowly getting free.  DH's family and mine seem to contain more than the average amount of people with a chip on their shoulders.  There's always a lot of 'atmosphere' at family gatherings, and not the party type.  I've always gone along because I don't want to make more waves than necessary, but I've now had enough.  Freedom beckons

savingholmes

Gotta love freedom. Great you are having more good days too