Unmarried separation and property

lynseys

My partner and I recently separated we are joint owners of our home that we purchased one year ago. I have 2 children from my previous marriage. I moved myself and my children from a different town and have no friends, family or support network here. Due to my earnings I cant afford to take the mortgage on myself (though can afford the monthly expenses). When we bought the house he put in 100k from the sale of his old home and I invested 20k. We moved from an area where property was much much cheaper and I cant afford to buy or rent another property in our town. My children had to move schools when I made this move and my son has some mental health problems so would like to stay where we are for now.

He would need this equity out to be able to buy somewhere else which would mean that we would have to sell or myself take on the mortgage in my own name which I cant. 

I have done some reading etc and have an appointment with a solicitor but I need to be able to talk to my kids this week and reassure them what could happen in the future.

I saw a martin or mesher order can be obtained but I dont know if that is the case in an unmarried couple? Or if I would have a leg to stand on to stay in the home until the children are older? The separation is not my choice (he cheated) I know means nothing in the eyes of the law, but I would hope someone could see how unfair the situation is on my children. 
Any experience or advice much appreciated.

gettingtheresometime

Whilst I have sympathy for the situation you're in, I think you have to prepare yourself for moving out of the house especially as the children aren't his.
Obviously I might might be wrong and the solicitor will tell you what the situation is, but I would start looking for rental properties if you want/need to stay in the area.

lynseys

Thank you. I cant afford a rental property here everything is over 1000 p/m

74jax

lynseys said:

My partner and I recently separated we are joint owners of our home that we purchased one year ago. I have 2 children from my previous marriage. I moved myself and my children from a different town and have no friends, family or support network here. Due to my earnings I cant afford to take the mortgage on myself (though can afford the monthly expenses). When we bought the house he put in 100k from the sale of his old home and I invested 20k. We moved from an area where property was much much cheaper and I cant afford to buy or rent another property in our town. My children had to move schools when I made this move and my son has some mental health problems so would like to stay where we are for now.

 I would look to move back to the area that is lower priced, I know you say your son has mental health issues but you have only been there 1 year, so it won't be too hard to move again, especially if you have no support network holding you there.

How do you own the home? is it joint tenants?
You say you can't afford to rent, however you would have 20 months worth of rent at £1k a month, or has the property decreased in value and you won't get the 20k back?  

DollyDawson

I'm so sorry to read this.  Are you by any chance engaged?  Has he taken any legal responsibility for the children?  You may not want to think about this right now, or it may not be an option, but does he actually want to split with up with you?

AskAsk

as already said, if you are not married then divorce laws do not apply.  it is then simply joint assets that friends and siblings may have together that need to be separated out, so who owns what.  this is why it is fairer split if you are not married as the divorce courts don't have to deal with it.

lynseys

74jax said:

lynseys said:

My partner and I recently separated we are joint owners of our home that we purchased one year ago. I have 2 children from my previous marriage. I moved myself and my children from a different town and have no friends, family or support network here. Due to my earnings I cant afford to take the mortgage on myself (though can afford the monthly expenses). When we bought the house he put in 100k from the sale of his old home and I invested 20k. We moved from an area where property was much much cheaper and I cant afford to buy or rent another property in our town. My children had to move schools when I made this move and my son has some mental health problems so would like to stay where we are for now.

 I would look to move back to the area that is lower priced, I know you say your son has mental health issues but you have only been there 1 year, so it won't be too hard to move again, especially if you have no support network holding you there.

How do you own the home? is it joint tenants?
You say you can't afford to rent, however you would have 20 months worth of rent at £1k a month, or has the property decreased in value and you won't get the 20k back?  

I checked my paperwork and it's actually 12k. I don't know what the property value would be now, but we have only been in it for a year so I cant imagine it will have changed a huge amount. I suppose I could rent with the equity in the home but its not preferable in any way and it would disappear quickly to leave me with nothing then what would I have? It feels like an impossible situation made harder by the fact it's not what I want

lynseys

DollyDawson said:

I'm so sorry to read this.  Are you by any chance engaged?  Has he taken any legal responsibility for the children?  You may not want to think about this right now, or it may not be an option, but does he actually want to split with up with you?

No, we are not engaged and the only responsibility for the kids really is just what he gained by moving in. My children still see their dad. He does want to split up yes hes in a mental health crisis and wont see logic or reason. I have tried everything and I desperately want him back despite everything that's happened but he wont accept it 

elsien

Whatever the reason for the split, you aren't married or engaged,  the children aren't his and he doesn't have any responsibility for them. He needs the equity to be able to buy elsewhere, which after only a year together seems reasonable. I understand why you don't want to move but I think you are being unrealistic in expecting any sort of order to allow you to stay until the children are older. 
The support network is also a factor - how do you think you will manage without one?

lynseys

elsien said:

Whatever the reason for the split, you aren't married or engaged,  the children aren't his and he doesn't have any responsibility for them. He needs the equity to be able to buy elsewhere, which after only a year together seems reasonable. I understand why you don't want to move but I think you are being unrealistic in expecting any sort of order to allow you to stay until the children are older. 
The support network is also a factor - how do you think you will manage without one?

I've no idea.

sassyblue

I think you need to prepare to lose the house. It’s highly unlikely he’d let you live there with his financial assistance until your youngest child is 18, he has no obligation towards your children as, I assume, their father already assists in that way.

very sad situation OP, I feel for you.