Moving to the suburbs

movinghelp

I grew up in the suburbs/country and had a lovely childhood. Moved to a city for University and then to London and bought a 2 bed flat. Sold it after 5 years and moved to the other side of the world and after renting for 4 years (1/2 bed flats in the inner city), I’m finally moving into a 3 bed semi in the suburbs on Monday. I’m grateful for the extra space and the proximity to the in laws particularly as we’re expecting our first child in April. But I’ve got a nagging sense of dread about being further from work/friends/city life. I know you can’t have everything and a longer commute is a small price to pay. But still I’m only 30 and am worried OH and I will struggle with the change of scene.

oldbikebloke

what is your question:
how to cope with life?
will someone come and hold your hand?

live your life and be grateful you have a job to commute to

GDB2222

You wrote this at 5.30 in the morning. Are you usually awake at this time? 

These are anxious times. Although you are unlikely at your age to get very ill from Covid, it is still causing much economic disruption. Brexit is just about to break out. You are moving home. Starting a family. Frankly, it’s a wonder if you can sleep at all.

Things will work out. Life will continue. And, if the commute turns out to be impossible, you’ll get a new job or move home again. In practice, you’ll probably be fine with the commute, assuming lots of other people are able to make the same journey.  

RelievedSheff

To get the house we wanted for the price we wanted in a nice area we have had to move a lot further out of the city and further away from where we work. We now have a 25 mile each way commute to work (well when I am working in the office I do!) 

We were concerned at first that we wouldn't adjust to life outside of a city but actually we have found that we love it. We love the peace and quiet, the woods and countryside on our doorstep and the generally more relaxed pace of life and friendliness. I can't imagine us living anywhere else now.

Scotbot

I  grew up in the suburbs then went to uni in a big city and worked in large cities for years before moving back to the burbs.  I loved iving in the city for the lifestyle but hated the noise after a while.Being able to afford a quiet detached house with off street parking became attractive. I think having a child will completely alter your lifestyle and proximity to family and good schools will become more important.

pinkteapot

What specifically do you spend time doing at the moment that you're worried you'll lose?

bouicca21

Doesn’t rather doesn’t it rather depend on the suburb?  i grew up in 1930s suburbia, acres and acres of housing with very little in the way of facilities, over a mile to a station or vaguely decent shops.  Ghastly.  I now live a short walk from a station and a bustling high street. Still a suburb but a totally different experience.

AdrianC

movinghelp said:

...we’re expecting our first child in April. But I’ve got a nagging sense of dread about being further from work/friends/city life.

Don't you think being parents will make a big difference to that anyway?

Wouldn't the kid benefit from having a garden and the extra space?

GDB2222

bouicca21 said:

Doesn’t rather doesn’t it rather depend on the suburb?  i grew up in 1930s suburbia, acres and acres of housing with very little in the way of facilities, over a mile to a station or vaguely decent shops.  Ghastly.  I now live a short walk from a station and a bustling high street. Still a suburb but a totally different experience.

It clearly depends on your point of view. There are very few ‘facilities' near us, and we prefer it that way. A mile walk to the station is great, and the further we are from the bustling high street, the better!

There’s no right and wrong about this. It’s just personal preference. 

SouthLondonUser

In this country, no one, not even under torture, will ever tell you they don't like where they bought - every one will tell you that wherever they bought is perfect. People living in tiny flats in the city centre with no outdoor space "have never looked back", but neither have those who moved to Nowhereseville and endure a 90-minute commute each way.

What I am trying to say is that you have to make up your mind without expecting any kind of honest feedback from people who have bought in an area you are considering.

greensalad

movinghelp said:

But I’ve got a nagging sense of dread about being further from work/friends/city life. 

What you'll find is soon everyone will do the same. I have never lived in the city but all my friends were located in London and they'd tell me I was ridiculous for not living there. "But how do you go on nights out? How can you party?" etc. Well lo and behold, they all hit 30, upped sticks and now we all live in a circle around London.

Not to mention your style of socialising will change. I couldn't think of anything worse now than going for an expensive night out in London. Bigger houses outside of the city mean spare rooms and easier to drive to. No running for the last train home.

Now, we go to friend's houses for dinner parties and drinking too much wine, sleep over, cooked breakfast in the morning and drive home. Or drive to meet friends at fun places like castles and gardens for a stroll and a cup of coffee.

You'll find especially as people have kids they are no longer able to socialise in the same way as before either, and if you stay unattached in the city you'll soon find you lose some of your old friends anyway because of differing lifestyles.

And as you're having kids yourself you'll find similar I expect. Why go out to socialise in the "city" and have to find someone to watch the baby when you can have some friends over in your (probably) larger property, with your baby safe upstairs?