Rent to help relationship ?

maries91

Hi, 
I just wanted some advice. I’m 29 and about a year into my career as a nurse working in the NHS. My partner also works in the NHS and earns about £22000 a year. 

We currently live with my partners dad. We pay a bit of money toward him each month. I am greatful that we have somewhere cheap to live. However, I am going out of my mind basically just living in the bedroom. Not feeling like I can do things when I want and having to plan everything around my partners dad schedule. Even sitting relaxing, I come straight home from work and go upstairs in the bedroom untill I come downstairs to cook then straight up stairs to eat ect. I can’t cope with not having my own space. 

Should I consider renting? My partners dad are currently building an annex in the garden which we instead to live in. There is no end date set yet for this. But I am also thinking that I want children soon and would not be able to live in the annex with babies. I have about £10000 savings. So could rent for 6 months untill the annex is finished approx but other than that I have no idea what to do. I keep having ‘crisis’ which is having a huge impact on my relationship. 

Please help 

Emmia

I presume your partner doesn't want to move out with you?

Personally with or without the annex I'd prefer a different place (even a separate shared house). Living in a room in their house or even an annex means you'll always be living with his parents, and will find it difficult to live your own separate lives from them - even more so if kids come along.

maries91

I think he wouldn’t mind moving out. But he has a hard time saving as it is. Renting would be costly each month and means we won’t be able to save for a mortgage. I earn about £27000 a year so it’s already hard for us to save in the first place. 

Emmia

maries91 said:

I think he wouldn’t mind moving out. But he has a hard time saving as it is. Renting would be costly each month and means we won’t be able to save for a mortgage. I earn about £27000 a year so it’s already hard for us to save in the first place. 

How will the parents feel about you both moving - given they're building an annex? Have you spoken to your OH about moving out / how you're feeling? What does he say?

I wouldn't rush into the mortgage though, as someone who is married and mortgaged (in that order) the latter feels like a more significant commitment - but I have no kids, which would be (for me) more significant.

Paying commercial rent/bills whilst living together would also let you properly test the "managing finances" aspect of the relationship too.

Liquid cash gives you choices, investing everything into an illiquid asset (property) that you live in, can remove them.

Pollycat

Emmia said:

How will the parents feel about you both moving - given they're building an annex? Have you spoken to your OH about moving out / how you're feeling? What does he say?

I wouldn't rush into the mortgage though, as someone who is married and mortgaged (in that order) the latter feels like a more significant commitment - but I have no kids, which would be (for me) more significant.

Paying commercial rent/bills whilst living together would also let you properly test the "managing finances" aspect of the relationship too.

Liquid cash gives you choices, investing everything into an illiquid asset (property) that you live in, can remove them.

If your partner's Dad is building an annexe with the expectation that you will live in it and you don't want to do this, I think you should have a frank conversation with your partner without delay.

It may cause long lasting bad feeling between you, your partner and his Dad if money has been wasted. If your partner isn't aware of how you feel about this annexe it may cause friction between the 2 of you.

Mojisola

Two salaries - £22,000 + £27,000 minus "a bit of money" towards the household bills and you're having trouble saving?

Put two SOAs up on the debt-free board and see what suggestions people can make to help reduce your outgoings.

AskAsk

it sounds like a lifestyle decision is needed and if you can afford to move out then do so.  it is difficult to live with your parents when you are grown up and have a partner.  you should move out to your own place if you can afford to do so, even if it means you can't save for a mortgage.

lots of people do it so you won't be the only one.  in fact it is unusual to still be at home when you are grown up and have a partner unless you are really desperate.

Pollycat

The OP has also started a thread on another board:

https://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/discussion/6212207/should-i-rent#latest

AskAsk

Pollycat said:

The OP has also started a thread on another board:

https://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/discussion/6212207/should-i-rent#latest

END OF THREAD then