Should I rent?

maries91

Hi, 
I just wanted some advice. I’m 29 and about a year into my career as a nurse working in the NHS. My partner also works in the NHS and earns about £22000 a year. 

We currently live with my partners dad. We pay a bit of money toward him each month. I am greatful that we have somewhere cheap to live. However, I am going out of my mind basically just living in the bedroom. Not feeling like I can do things when I want and having to plan everything around my partners dad schedule. Even sitting relaxing, I come straight home from work and go upstairs in the bedroom untill I come downstairs to cook then straight up stairs to eat ect. I can’t cope with not having my own space. 

Should I consider renting? My partners dad are currently building an annex in the garden which we instead to live in. There is no end date set yet for this. But I am also thinking that I want children soon and would not be able to live in the annex with babies. 

I have no idea what to do. 

Please help 

AdrianC

You don't say what your salary is, but I'd presume that between you, you earn about £40k/year or more, somewhere around £3k/month after tax.

How much are you paying in rent for this room? Where's the rest of your income going? Why don't you feel like you can use the living room on an equal basis with him?

Where in the country are you?

Angela_D_3

No you should not have babies before buying a house,  honestly that would set you back financially 5 years.  Don’t do it is my advice and no “accidents” .... I’d seriously recommend marriage first too if you’re considering maternity leave but saying that him earning £22,000 doesn’t leave you much wiggle room.  

How old are you,  can
you put together a 5 year plan for all this ? 

maries91

I’m only on about £27000. I’m in the uk. 

I feel like because it’s my partners dads house I have to work around him. Eg if I’m downstairs and they come back home in the evening then they have the right to sit down stairs and watch what they want not what I want. 

Angela_D_3. Id love to get married but unfortunately I don’t think our finances will allow this.  

dimbo61

I think £40K a year for a newly qualified nurse is a little bit more than the poster earns and more like £2,000 a month take home pay.
You don't say what part of the country you live and local house prices.
Have you managed to save any money for a deposit

maries91

I’m on about £27000 and I have nearly £10000 saved. I live in the south coast so prices are in my opinion high. 

Angela_D_3

It costs £200 for a registry office wedding.  Honestly all the wedding nonsense is exactly that and if you definitely want to do it,  get the legal stuff out the way before the babies and then have the big day including the kids when you can afford it. 

Michael Owen the footballer did that,  if it’s good enough for him,  it’s good enough for you xxx
Id be looking at year 1-2 save a 10% deposit for a house that’ll fit 4 of you in the best location possible.  Over pay it by even £100 a month and it’ll have a huge impact on how much money you save.  Year 2 get married.  Year 3 get pregnant.  That’s all your dreams in 36 months.  

Angela_D_3

But no definitely do not try and raise a baby in your father in laws shed.  You’ll have a nervous breakdown 

jackieblack

maries91 said:

Id love to get married but unfortunately I don’t think our finances will allow this.  

Getting married doesn’t have to cost a lot.
It’s big flashy weddings that are expensive (and they’re not going to be an option any time soon).

 I don’t blame you for wanting your own space, how does your partner feel about the situation?

AdrianC

dimbo61 said:

I think £40K a year for a newly qualified nurse is a little bit more than the poster earns and more like £2,000 a month take home pay.

I meant as a couple... I did say "between you"

maries91 said:

I’m only on about £27000.

So £49k/year between you, £3,300/mo after tax.

I’m in the uk.

Obvs...

Which bit...? An expensive bit of SE...? Somewhere with very cheap housing...?

I feel like because it’s my partners dads house I have to work around him. Eg if I’m downstairs and they come back home in the evening then they have the right to sit down stairs and watch what they want not what I want.

It's your HOME, too.

If they're actively making you feel like it isn't, rather than you simply failing to assert that, then you definitely need to move. And, if your OH can't wrap his head around that, and won't stand up against his father, then he's part of the problem.

Angela_D_3. Id love to get married but unfortunately I don’t think our finances will allow this.

If getting married provides important tangible benefits, then it need only cost £150 or so for a small registry office wedding. Everything on top of that is pure fluff that you're welcome to choose to have if you want it - and can afford it - but you certainly don't need to have to make any difference to the tangible aspects of marriage vs remaining as "common-law" partners.

dimbo61

Sorry Adrian C  I missed the bit about Joint take home income !
You will I hope get regular  pay rises each year and hopefully be band 6 in 3/4 years time.
Keep up the studies and courses if possible 
Learn to live the MSE way and save into HTB and LISA ISA,s