British families.

Riley_G

gettingtheresometime said:

eamon said:

The above was top of the google list.

That's not very hospitable.
OP I can't really help with the questions but there will be things that make you wonder if you've landed on planet zogg ...but go along with the flow!
Where in the UK will you be living?

I felt at times I was wondering if I took a wrong turning and ended up on the planet zogg! I know tea is massively important and I've seen people stop for their "brew up". I'm trying to learn the perfect tea, Some tell me its milk first others tell me its water first!

I'll be living near to Manchester City. In a town in Greater Manchester?

elsien

Milk first is for posh people with bone china cups when back in the day they didn't want to crack them by pouring boiling water in first. Water first is for the rest of us plebs who use mugs and quite like to see how strong their tea is before adding the milk. 
I like Manchester. Good choice. 

Riley_G

elsien said:

Milk first is for posh people with bone china cups when back in the day they didn't want to crack them by pouring boiling water in first. Water first is for the rest of us plebs who use mugs and quite like to see how strong their tea is before adding the milk. 
I like Manchester. Good choice. 

So water first to see how strong it goes is right?

My friends back home when they were acting all "British" to me would microwave the water. I see here the kettle is taken super seriously, I've had "British fish and chips" in America and boy they are NOTHING to them over here. You guys take that seriously too. 

I know some of you think I am naive, and a bit dim. My life was going nowhere in the states, I met my boyfriend and next thing I knew I was on a plane coming over. I always find asking people more my style. I hope I'm not upsetting anyone

[Deleted User]

Riley_G said:

elsien said:

Milk first is for posh people with bone china cups when back in the day they didn't want to crack them by pouring boiling water in first. Water first is for the rest of us plebs who use mugs and quite like to see how strong their tea is before adding the milk. 
I like Manchester. Good choice. 

So water first to see how strong it goes is right?

My friends back home when they were acting all "British" to me would microwave the water. I see here the kettle is taken super seriously, I've had "British fish and chips" in America and boy they are NOTHING to them over here. You guys take that seriously too. 

I know some of you think I am naive, and a bit dim. My life was going nowhere in the states, I met my boyfriend and next thing I knew I was on a plane coming over. I always find asking people more my style. I hope I'm not upsetting anyone

Microwave the water!  You have just upset a whole nation!  Only joking. 

Ideally you boil a kettle of water, then use the hot water to pre-warm the teapot, then add a teaspoon of tea to the pot for each person + one extra teaspoon, then boil some more water and fil the tea pot and let the tea 'mash' for a while before pouring.  Serve on a tray with cups, sugar and a jug of milk...and lots of biscuits for 'dunking'.

Or, chuck a teabag in a mug, add some hot water from the kettle and add sugar and milk as required.  Don't forget the biscuits.

Naive and dim - not at all.  I see it as you having a great adventure.

I lived abroad for a few years and found that the best thing to do is to be honest and say "I don't know how this works / what to do / I do not understand what you mean".  Most people are friendly and are happy to help.

[Deleted User]

There's a really useful documentary series that may help you if you can track it down.  It's called 'Little Britain' and covers the main social situations you may encounter and how to handle them. You won't go far wrong if you allow yourself to be guided by the examples there.

Good luck, old bean. 

Mojisola

elsien said:

Milk first is for posh people with bone china cups when back in the day they didn't want to crack them by pouring boiling water in first. Water first is for the rest of us plebs who use mugs and quite like to see how strong their tea is before adding the milk. 

Always milk first in our family - I've researched the family back quite a few generations and have yet to find anyone posh!
The only posh BF I've ever had laughed at me putting milk in first - the rule in their family was tea first, milk second. 
Just goes to show that there are no 'rules' that everyone confirms to. 

AskAsk

Savvy_Sue said:

What I don't quite understand is why your boyfriend isn't giving you a reverse cultural induction to the one he must have had when he came to the USA.

i was going to ask the OP this question myself as her boyfriend is better placed to answer these questions for her, so it is odd to see the OP asking these questions on a public forum, but i thought i should keep my mouth shut as it would come across as rude and unfriendly.  so i am glad you said it first 

AskAsk

Savvy_Sue said:

Riley_G said:

Savvy_Sue said:

What I don't quite understand is why your boyfriend isn't giving you a reverse cultural induction to the one he must have had when he came to the USA.

He tried. Oh he tried. I prefer learning my own way. 

I don't know anyone else in the UK. I've never been to the UK. Boyfriend has told me to do some things. 

PLEASE make some friends yourself. I know it's not the the best of times, but whatever YOUR interests are make time for them and try to connect with like-minded people. 

it is actually not that easy to make friends in the UK as people are more reserved and are more cautious around strangers, particularly foreigners.  but yes, the OP should try to make friends as it is pretty lonely just to depend on her boyfriend.

best way to make friends is to join some sort of activity club where you can meet people who like similar things to you.

Mojisola

AskAsk said:

Savvy_Sue said:

What I don't quite understand is why your boyfriend isn't giving you a reverse cultural induction to the one he must have had when he came to the USA.

i was going to ask the OP this question myself as her boyfriend is better placed to answer these questions for her

Both making a good point. 
Riley - as you've probably realised by now, different groups of people do things differently; people in different parts of the country do things differently.
Initially, you'll be moving in your BF's circle of family and friends and he is best placed to tell you what the norms are for them. 

Brambling

You may have noticed that the British sense of humour can be difference from the American one as well as some peoples use of sarcasm? I used to work with a lady who had moved to the UK in similar circumstances to yours and had problems with understanding both