A former friend never paid me back

Grumpy_chap

There is a forumite around here with the footer saying something along the lines of "If you lend someone £20 and never see that person again, that is probably the best £20 you ever spent"  Seems very apt.

greensalad

Tip for the future:

Don't lend money to people you aren't willing to lose. Consider loaning money as a gift and be happy if you get it back. Best way to loan money to friends IMO.

cymruchris

I'm surprised that someone would spend £26 to go get a couple of pairs of pyjamas. In the message she said if you want the money just ask instead of the gifts - did you then ask?

DCFC79

OP I would normally say get your money back but as it happened in February Id consider just writing it off and forget about her.

You could give it one more attempt at getting the money back.

Chloboshoka_2

cymruchris said:

I'm surprised that someone would spend £26 to go get a couple of pairs of pyjamas. In the message she said if you want the money just ask instead of the gifts - did you then ask?

At the time I thought it was sweet, until she asked me to get her £50 worth of jewelry. Then she started calling my boyfriend a molester and calling me a deluded !!!!!! and threatening me with the police because my friends stuck up for me. He’s done nothing wrong, he even offered to pay me the money she owes me, but I told him no. 

I did buy some of the jewelry though, but I’m keeping for myself.  

monetxchange

As others have said, it's a small price to pay to get this person out of your life. Their messages are classic manipulation - playing it off like it's no big deal and you're making it awkward, pretending like they're in charge of buying "gifts" (with your own money) to thank you instead. I'd hazard a guess they do it to a lot of people regularly. Learn from this.

It's always a red flag when people want you to buy something for them instead of actually lending them the cash. It's like it's easier for them to pretend like it wasn't a big deal because it wasn't in hard money terms so they can pay back these "gifts" in kind. The fact you thought it was sweet she offered to do so is showing that she maybe targeted you because of your good nature. Someone offering to pay your £21 travel to pick up £13 cheap pyjamas when they could have just ordered them online and saved is also a red flag they were never intending to pay back. Not only have they wasted your money, but your time too.

Watch out in future.

Chloboshoka_2

A mutual friend sent me this. 

Wyndham

Chloboshoka_2 said:

A mutual friend sent me this. 

You won't see the money for either of the items. This is not a friend, this is someone who is taking you for a ride - and will continue to do so. Your choice, but I'd be cutting off contact at this point and moving on.

Chloboshoka_2

Wyndham said:

Chloboshoka_2 said:

A mutual friend sent me this. 

You won't see the money for either of the items. This is not a friend, this is someone who is taking you for a ride - and will continue to do so. Your choice, but I'd be cutting off contact at this point and moving on.

I already cut contact with her. She’s using her friend to get to me. After what she said to me and my boyfriend, calling me delusional, and threatening the police cause she sees me as a vulnerable adult, why should I give her anything again? She doesn't even regret her words, claiming she has pride and integrity. Makes me laugh. 

I was gonna keep the jewelry to myself or give it someone who deserves it. She’ll have to find another “Santa Sister”. 

greensalad

Don't engage. I know it's hard sometimes because you want to say your piece et cetera but that desire fades with time and you'll be happier. I have dropped a few people in my life with whom my interaction at become increasingly negative. 3 years ago it was the person I considered my "best friend". It hurt and was hard but I knew it was the right thing to do. You have clearly already told this person to stuff it. Forget the money. Ask the "go between" friend to not contact you about that particular person anymore, say you aren't interested. You'll feel better a few months down the line.