The second hurdle - Nichelette v the huge mortgage

Nichelette

@ladysummerisle I do think part of it is, I'd actually mentioned it to DH as a few weeks ago I was just raging at everyone and everything which isn't like me at all. I'm usually pretty placid, but everything seemed to trigger me. I'm 40 in spring so it won't be long until I'm on the slippery peri menopause slope. Can't believe I'm even saying that lol. 

Colleague has already mentioned when she comes back. I think she will to be honest as everyone is so mortgaged up we don't have much choice. That said, my friend at work made a good point in that when the first lot of redundancies hit they did let some people stay for longer. I expect she will be gone at least a year, which, depending on when she goes will be Jan/Feb 27ish return.

The powers that be don't actually know that my manager plans to retire. He's only 60 and had planned to go around his birthday, but because of things related to his contract changing he has hung on. He will get a second payment in April at which point he wants to go. I think it will actually be earlier as he's told me he is saving some holiday to get away before. He's not being vocal about it as he will get a huge amount of money if he can get redundancy. So anyway, they won't expect him to be gone as things stand, which leaves all 3 of us seniors gone if I'm also gone. If it came to it I might be able to negotiate staying until end of her mat leave which would suit me to be honest as move will hopefully be sorted by then and I'd get the redundancy money on top which frees me up to find something PT hopefully. To be honest though I love the people I work with I've been unhappy in the job for a while and I think I need to something new. 

Yes, I don't think the poem helped. I wasn't expecting it either! I don't think I wrote it very well but DS1 loves school so that is something at least. Picking and dropping is actually worse than I expected. He saunters so badly it takes forever to walk up, though that's less of an issue as they let them in at 8.40 so I don't need to panic about that so much as we just leave the house with enough time. I thought about getting him a scooter to speed him up, but I'm forever telling him to watch where he's walking and I think he'd end up taking people out with it...

I know it's a me problem, but getting stuck behind people who aren't time pressed is hard. I try to jog back as I start work at 8.45 (made 8.47 today, new PB!), but the footpaths are narrow, and the school is opposite victorian terraces so the roads are awful too as cars are parked on one side. It doesn't help that there are multiple entrances and we have to go to the furthest one from our house. I use my lunch break to collect him so I've lost my housework time. I envy those who don't have to rush about and feel terrible having to rush DS about all the time. 

In happier news, my mum is 60 soon. We're all having a family meal in a couple of weeks so that is something to look forward to at least. Then we've got pumpkin picking, fireworks and I've got tickets for a Christmas event for the kids. Mortgage is nearly in the 180's and we've put another £500 in vanguard towards moving costs. I've sorted through the kids clothes at the weekend and have got rid of a bag of 18-24 stuff that nursery can use as spares. Am doing my best to declutter when I have time. 

South_coast

I might be mixing you up with someone else, but weren't you thinking of training as a midwife at one point? Could that be something you looked at again if you do want to leave regardless?

Nichelette

South_coast said:

I might be mixing you up with someone else, but weren't you thinking of training as a midwife at one point? Could that be something you looked at again if you do want to leave regardless?

Yes, that was me! I'd still love to do it, but I joined a group for aspiring midwives on Facebook and found the following problems:

* Fairly big pay cut, but I'm happy to do that for a job I'd enjoy as long as we could manage. I think because I have management experience I could progress if I wanted to
* I exceed entry qualifications easily, but because I've been out of education for so long I'd have to do an access course which means more time delays (and money but that's a more minor issue)

Deal breakers seem to be:

*Student loan repayments are insane - people on less than my current salary are paying £600+ a month. I haven't even looked at the loan I'd get with it being a second degree
*Jobs. Despite there being a shortage lots of people are graduating with no job to go to - https://www.change.org/p/address-the-employment-crisis-for-newly-qualified-midwives-and-nurses-in-the-uk

This may change, so I'm still open to it, but the idea of spending tens of thousands and no job is a bit scary! One of my biggest regrets in life is not going into medicine. I had the grades, but being from a council estate with an HGV driver dad and a housewife mum I lacked the confidence. I feel like midwifery would put that part of me at peace!

beanielou

Teaching is the same. Many graduates & no full time permanent jobs.

That seems a lot to repay for student loan. I would look into it.

edinburgher

A shame you're not in Scotland, I think they pay future midwives a bursary here (and cover their fees). Google could be lying to me tho 😉

South_coast

I must admit, I thought there would be no fees/a bursary as well. I'm going back a bit (20+ years 😳!), but I shared with a student nurse in my first year at Uni and I'm sure she was no fees/bursary. But if others have done the research, then I bow to their greater knowledge! I'm really surprised people are struggling to find jobs! I thought it would have been the opposite 🤷‍♀️

beanielou

edinburgher said:

A shame you're not in Scotland, I think they pay future midwives a bursary here (and cover their fees). Google could be lying to me tho 😉

I think you’re right. 

debtfreewannabe321

You might already be in perimenopause mine lasted 10+ years and started at 31...I was post menopause by 42... Just a thought.

I've thought about retraining at uni but I don't want my student loans and I wonder about the amount of jobs available too...🤔. It's really hard to know what to do isn't it. Hope a plan comes together for you though and takes away some stress.

Merlin's_Beard

South_coast said:

I must admit, I thought there would be no fees/a bursary as well. I'm going back a bit (20+ years 😳!), but I shared with a student nurse in my first year at Uni and I'm sure she was no fees/bursary. But if others have done the research, then I bow to their greater knowledge! I'm really surprised people are struggling to find jobs! I thought it would have been the opposite 🤷‍♀️

I think the fact that this has changed is one of the gripes for the junior doctors - so I'm not surprised it's changed for other medical professions too!

Nichelette

edinburgher said:

A shame you're not in Scotland, I think they pay future midwives a bursary here (and cover their fees). Google could be lying to me tho 😉

My husband is Scottish, and honestly the number of times I think about jacking it all in and moving is a lot, but I think I'd get too homesick . Unfortunately MIL passed in 2019 and she was the glue. If his family were more like mine I would probably go, but they really just don't care sadly. We looked at a David Wilson site down here and saw a house like this but smaller. My brain thinks what we could get here for the same, then my heart says I don't think I'd manage: https://www.dwh.co.uk/new-homes/dev002579-dwh-@-valley-park/plot-133-h8722133/

debtfreewannabe321 said:

You might already be in perimenopause mine lasted 10+ years and started at 31...I was post menopause by 42... Just a thought.

I've thought about retraining at uni but I don't want my student loans and I wonder about the amount of jobs available too...🤔. It's really hard to know what to do isn't it. Hope a plan comes together for you though and takes away some stress.

Oh wow, that's young! I had my hormones checked last year and they said they were okay, but who knows.. I don't know if it's one of those things where you are similar to mum, but mine is 60 and has only fairly recently finished. To be honest I'd rather not have another student loan either. 

Money wise feel a bit poor already as have started Xmas shopping. Also had to pay estate charge (which should be 6 monthly, but they're so bad at actually sorting it it's now 4 months late) One lot was due this month and another in 2 months, so I've just paid the lot which I think was £272 if I remember rightly? It was a dent anyway... Also spent £50 on a massive waterproof due to dawdling 4 year old... I also need to ask about DS1 nursery deposit as I'm sure £150 of it was refundable and I've not had it as far as I'm aware? I'll have to look and see if I can find the original emails to check. I was waiting as I thought it might have been deducted from this months invoice, but it hasn't been.