The second hurdle - Nichelette v the huge mortgage

debtfreewannabe321

Nichelette, being a mum is hard enough work, never mind trying to work, run the house, pay for childcare and not having any help (I've also been in this situation when mine were younger). Be kind to yourself. 

I hope your job stays secure. I think the move to Scotland sounds good, would you be closer to your family?
I have been up and down emotionally this week, is it a full moon or something and oddly I have been reminiscing about when I was younger and how I lived on the same estate as my nan, two aunties, my other nan was only a bit further up and there was always family around to help us through when times were tough (financially or emotionally or whatever!) Families seem so far spread these days, I feel a slight pang of jealousy when I hear about local people who have all their family so close. 

The kids will all eventually be in school and then it will be easier. I actually quit my job when I ended up having two close together and the eldest was still quite young too. I did childminding from home instead so no childcare costs and I got to charge others for looking after their kids (and mine effectively). Perhaps an idea if you do end up being made redundant (although I have everything crossed you won't be!) 

Nichelette

Thanks for your kind words @debtfreewannabe321. My husband is Scottish but his family aren't really close (emotionally) like mine are. MIL passed in 2019 and she was the glue really. I don't think they'd really bother with us if we moved up. 

Unfortunately our house is too small to consider childminding, but I'd take pretty much any job as a gap filler so hopefully I would at least be able to find something!

Nichelette

I was browsing some houses online, and found a development an hour and 10 mins away from us. We're a bit further east than some of my family, so it was only about 55 mins from my dad. A 4 bed detached was 'only' 500k (would be nearer 700 here I think) so we went to have a look on Sunday. House was nice and downstairs was lovely, but master bedroom was a bit small and would only fit a double (we have a king, and I'd sleep even worse than I do now in a smaller bed, so that was a no!).

Having done some sums, a mortgage on a 500k house would be about £500 a month more than we currently pay, but I think that between DH income and child benefit we could survive without me working for a while in absolute worst case. Not suggesting we'd be splashing money about, but, especially on current mortgage, we would manage. I need to work for my sanity, but do want to do slightly less hours, and eventually we'd bump it up a bit with whatever I'd be earning anyway. It has made me feel slightly better about things for the time being. 

The development itself was actually really nice, but I'm not 100% about the wider area. We got stuck in some traffic on a Sunday, so I'm not sure how much worse during the week would be. I'd have to leave my job as it's too far to travel, but DH could remain in his. It may be my emotional brain rather than my practical one. I know it's not that far really, but it seemed like a long way at the time. There are more houses being released up to 2027, and there is a slightly more expensive one that has a garage, and bigger bedrooms that I think would actually suit us really well as a house. Bedrooms are actually slightly bigger than we have here, and there's a downstairs office so we wouldn't need to sacrifice a bedroom for that. Oh, and both had a utility room which is my absolute dream lol. It was good to be able to visualise how the square footage looked in real life as I can use it when comparing to other places now.

It's hard knowing what to do, as we want to try and move whilst I still have my job, but equally if we go out of the area DS2 might not get a place in another nursery. As it is DS1 is likely to have to move school which I think he's unlikely to cope well with (we think he's mildly autistic though not diagnosed yet). 

My immediate manager (who is lovely and has been my manager for a very long time) may well be retiring in the next couple of months (it depends how the department we've now been put under behave), but best case he'd only go until next April anyway. Work is so riddled with uncertainty at the moment. I suppose as long as I'm plugging away it puts us in a better position. We're paid next Friday and still have nearly 2.5k remaining. All major bills are paid, so I think it's likely we'll still have circa 2k left to squirrel away somewhere. I appreciate we're very lucky to be in this position. Unfortunately no PB win today 

debtfreewannabe321

Always good to have options. I quit my job before I moved and we bought this new house on just DP (old) wage and we coped without my wage but it was close to the bone. Since we moved we've had a monthly increase of around £2000 so can afford it comfortably... So maybe make sure you can afford whatever it is you're going for on just DH wage and I think it will feel like you have some good options rather than just options. Are you only after new build? As round here new builds all come at a premium and when we were looking we found a fair few different sites around the city but all of them had less sq ft than older houses and the gardens were like postage stamps - and they were priced around £50k more than a larger equivalent doer upper (which we ended up with). Are you opposed to doing any work on a house? 

I wish I could get to the end of the month and have that amount left! That's a fab amount! 

Nichelette

To be honest I'd actually ruled new builds out for a few reasons, but these seemed quite well priced compared to others and not a bad size for the price. I'm open to most things. DH doesn't really want to have to do things, but he'll basically do whatever I want to be honest. I'd be happy with somewhere that has a garage etc we could convert in the longer term if possible or similar. 

We've spent a bit of the 'left over' money but still have a good chunk left. I also put £500 of it in DS1 nursery account. I'm not going to put any more in there now until we actually need to as I think we're very close to what we've got left to pay. Not sure what to do with the rest. We have a couple of small debts. The paypal credit money from the washing machine which I'm not bothering with as I think surveys will have that paid off by the time they're charging interest. We've got just under 3k on a 0% card which we used for spending at the end of my mat leave (it meant we could leave money in PB's so we still had a chance of making something from it). I think the 0% expires in September so we still have a while to pay it off. I don't count it as debt as such as we have the money to pay it off if we needed to. So options are pay some of that of, OP on mortgage or put it into DS2 nursery account. We'll probably end up doing a combination though not sure how much on what yet. 

Car passed MOT last week, though thought that would be okay so wasn't too worried. Have booked both cars for servicing in May which will be nearly £600 but especially DH's needs doing. We've still got March with no council tax which has offset it a bit. 

LadyWithAPlan

You have a very busy life and it sounds like you are coping brilliantly - well done on OPs
I do echo be kind to yourself, this is a very busy phase of life and you are doing the best you can 

Zerforax

When you have young kids, having family nearby who can help you in a pinch makes a huge difference. Maybe it's just knowing in the back of your mind that you have a safety net? We made the move a couple of years ago (from London to up north) to be near family again. It's had its ups and down, some adjustments but on the whole has been positive.

Nichelette

I think there is definitely an element of having family close-ish in case of any disasters. I would be equally happy if that was DH's, but you can't make people care! It's a shame really as it would be far cheaper to live in Scotland, and as things stand kids wouldn't have tuition fees if the did want to go to university. Not that I'm going to encourage it tbh, unless the really want to do something that needs a degree.

Anyway! Payday tomorrow. 1k overpaid to mortgage and rest will go on 0% cc later once I sort it. 

Nichelette

We were paid on Friday. I've op'd another £200 as it gets mortgage into next bracket (under 195k). I've also put another £1000 into DS2 nursery account. Currently waiting on nursery bill for this month as it usually arrives on the 18th, though sometimes it is as late as the 20th. I like to know so I can get it gone tbh! 

Things are bobbing along with work, so am just taking each day as it comes. 

DS1 is 4 in a few weeks so I've been getting a few presents for him. I'd like to get him a slide for the garden too as both love slides at the park, but DS2 is a bit small for one that would fit DS1 (he's a big 4) and am a bit worried he'd try to climb it and hurt himself. I thought about getting a toddler one for DS2 but it would only do for this year, and I'm definitely not planning on more kids so seems a bit of a waste. I'll keep mulling it over.. His birthday falls on a Monday so I've got the day off, but it's school holidays so places will be busy. Not sure if I should just cancel it and send him into nursery. I suppose if things will be busy I'm just as well doing something over the weekend rather than wasting a day of annual leave and the cost of nursery. Will mull that over too lol. 

I enjoyed the treat of roaming around home bargains childless on Saturday so I got some easter bits to put away. Going to do a little easter egg hunt for the kids. I enjoy making a bit of a 'thing' out of celebrations for them as I'm conscious I'm away from them a lot, and I remember the excitement  I felt as a child. I wish I could get it back  . I got a lovely spring wreath for the front door as a treat. Our door is almost a duck egg blue and it looks so pretty against it. Even DH who is blind to stuff like that said it was nice, so that's an endorsement  . 

Anyway, am going to try wade through sorting kids toys for the rest of my lunch break. Desperately needs doing..

debtfreewannabe321

I used to buy and sell kids garden toys all the time when I was childminding for a change up...I would buy them all second hand on fleabay or FB or g^mtree (is that even a thing any more?) perhaps find a second hand toddler one for DS2, they are usually in great condition because they don't get used for long before growing out of them. But if your children are like mine or any of the ones I looked after no doubt DS2 will want to use what his big bro is using and not the baby one perhaps just get the big one and teach them both how to use it safely (and you can buy mats to put around them).