Help needed

Comms69

lorsferg said:

Comms69 said:

lorsferg said:

Comms69 said:

lorsferg said:

Comms69 said:

lorsferg said:

It probably will be taken into account as the CMS now use inheritance, interest and other earnings to calculate the payments. They may not immediately increase the amount as I’m unsure how often they calculate but if they recalculate later and you have already spent the money it may put you into arrears. 

No they dont. Perhaps you should concentrate on being accurate with your advice; and NOT being the moral police.

Read up on your facts. 

I have. It's only applicable in exceptional cases; not as a default position....

So again - concentrate on your own advice and dont try to be the moral police; no-one has asked you to do that.

Well if that’s the case, you should have advised OP on that basis and refrained from sarcastic, judgemental opinions. 

I tend to not advice people on everything that doesnt apply... Again worry less about what i post; and more about what you post....

This could go on and on and on. If you took your own advice and posted something kind and tried to offer options or suggestions to the OP then no comment would be made. Posting sarcastic unhelpful comments is simply highlighting your nature. I’m bored of this now. Over and out as the police would say

i have never advised posting anything kind. 

I did make a suggestion to the OP. 

(the police do not say over and out)

Comms69

Hack2600 said:

The reason I don't have anything to do with my oldest son is that when me and the ex split up. her and her parents made it very difficult for me to see him and also they do not live in the same city, also my ex has taken me to court to get my sons surname changed to hers so it is abvious that she doesn't want me having a relationship with him, when he is old enough to make his own choices and he wants to meet me I would welcome him with open arms and maybe one day explain my side of the story, since the day we split up I have paid my maintenance to him, all I want is clarity on wether my payments would go up or not, I didn't really want to explain why or my story but seen as some people are quick to judge me no one knows my situation or how I have had to sort my dads funeral out on my own whist worrying about my employment due to covid or how I'm gonna pay my morgage if I do get made redundant but I'm sure the cms and my ex will love the extra money if I have to pay it because I highly doubt my son will see a penny of it 

Then dont explain. But people are free to form whatever judgments they want. You have the means to secure regular contact and you're choosing not to.

You highly doubt he'll see a penny of it, so he's being neglected by both his parents...

Deenport

Hack2600 said:

The reason I don't have anything to do with my oldest son is that when me and the ex split up. her and her parents made it very difficult for me to see him and also they do not live in the same city, also my ex has taken me to court to get my sons surname changed to hers so it is abvious that she doesn't want me having a relationship with him, when he is old enough to make his own choices and he wants to meet me I would welcome him with open arms and maybe one day explain my side of the story, since the day we split up I have paid my maintenance to him, all I want is clarity on wether my payments would go up or not, I didn't really want to explain why or my story but seen as some people are quick to judge me no one knows my situation or how I have had to sort my dads funeral out on my own whist worrying about my employment due to covid or how I'm gonna pay my morgage if I do get made redundant but I'm sure the cms and my ex will love the extra money if I have to pay it because I highly doubt my son will see a penny of it 

And neither should you have to explain your situation. It’s your business and nobody else’s. You simply asked a question and I apologise for my continued thread with others who replied to your question. It drives me mad when people ignorant of the facts use this platform as a podium to be self righteous. I hope you can get the answers you need and that some day in the future you can build a relationship with your eldest. Nothing is ever cut and dry and many PWC use children as a weapon and sometimes you have to stand back and wait to prevent your child being a pawn in a tug of war. I completely understand and empathise with you 

Hack2600

Comms69 said:

Hack2600 said:

The reason I don't have anything to do with my oldest son is that when me and the ex split up. her and her parents made it very difficult for me to see him and also they do not live in the same city, also my ex has taken me to court to get my sons surname changed to hers so it is abvious that she doesn't want me having a relationship with him, when he is old enough to make his own choices and he wants to meet me I would welcome him with open arms and maybe one day explain my side of the story, since the day we split up I have paid my maintenance to him, all I want is clarity on wether my payments would go up or not, I didn't really want to explain why or my story but seen as some people are quick to judge me no one knows my situation or how I have had to sort my dads funeral out on my own whist worrying about my employment due to covid or how I'm gonna pay my morgage if I do get made redundant but I'm sure the cms and my ex will love the extra money if I have to pay it because I highly doubt my son will see a penny of it 

Then dont explain. But people are free to form whatever judgments they want. You have the means to secure regular contact and you're choosing not to.

You highly doubt he'll see a penny of it, so he's being neglected by both his parents...

Thanks that really helps (not) 

Hack2600

lorsferg said:

Hack2600 said:

The reason I don't have anything to do with my oldest son is that when me and the ex split up. her and her parents made it very difficult for me to see him and also they do not live in the same city, also my ex has taken me to court to get my sons surname changed to hers so it is abvious that she doesn't want me having a relationship with him, when he is old enough to make his own choices and he wants to meet me I would welcome him with open arms and maybe one day explain my side of the story, since the day we split up I have paid my maintenance to him, all I want is clarity on wether my payments would go up or not, I didn't really want to explain why or my story but seen as some people are quick to judge me no one knows my situation or how I have had to sort my dads funeral out on my own whist worrying about my employment due to covid or how I'm gonna pay my morgage if I do get made redundant but I'm sure the cms and my ex will love the extra money if I have to pay it because I highly doubt my son will see a penny of it 

And neither should you have to explain your situation. It’s your business and nobody else’s. You simply asked a question and I apologise for my continued thread with others who replied to your question. It drives me mad when people ignorant of the facts use this platform as a podium to be self righteous. I hope you can get the answers you need and that some day in the future you can build a relationship with your eldest. Nothing is ever cut and dry and many PWC use children as a weapon and sometimes you have to stand back and wait to prevent your child being a pawn in a tug of war. I completely understand and empathise with you 

Thanks I have friends who have spend thousands on court fees and solicitors to get access to thier kids and its financially crippled them 

Comms69

Hack2600 said:

lorsferg said:

Hack2600 said:

The reason I don't have anything to do with my oldest son is that when me and the ex split up. her and her parents made it very difficult for me to see him and also they do not live in the same city, also my ex has taken me to court to get my sons surname changed to hers so it is abvious that she doesn't want me having a relationship with him, when he is old enough to make his own choices and he wants to meet me I would welcome him with open arms and maybe one day explain my side of the story, since the day we split up I have paid my maintenance to him, all I want is clarity on wether my payments would go up or not, I didn't really want to explain why or my story but seen as some people are quick to judge me no one knows my situation or how I have had to sort my dads funeral out on my own whist worrying about my employment due to covid or how I'm gonna pay my morgage if I do get made redundant but I'm sure the cms and my ex will love the extra money if I have to pay it because I highly doubt my son will see a penny of it 

And neither should you have to explain your situation. It’s your business and nobody else’s. You simply asked a question and I apologise for my continued thread with others who replied to your question. It drives me mad when people ignorant of the facts use this platform as a podium to be self righteous. I hope you can get the answers you need and that some day in the future you can build a relationship with your eldest. Nothing is ever cut and dry and many PWC use children as a weapon and sometimes you have to stand back and wait to prevent your child being a pawn in a tug of war. I completely understand and empathise with you 

Thanks I have friends who have spend thousands on court fees and solicitors to get access to thier kids and its financially crippled them 

Because looking after your children's best interests isn't a priority. Perhaps you are better off not pursuing contact - given you're reluctance to try, your child may be better off that way.