Help needed

Comms69

lorsferg said:

Comms69 said:

Hack2600 said:

Hi,
i am about to receive my dads pension after he passed away last month, i currently pay CMS for my son who's mother doesnt let me see him.
in hopefully the final form i have to sign and send the pension company have given me a figure of £16800 and they have asked me for my national insurance number
i was wondering if the CMS will hear about this payment to me and if so will they up my payments to the ex?
i am not really planning on saving the money i'm thinking of getting a newer car and putting the rest either into a savings accound for my son who i have with my current partner or preimum bonds

any advice would be great thanks 

Not, you know, getting a court order to see your child?...

Not helpful. Should refrain from making comments based on assumptions about this person’s circumstances. 

Your opinion is not more or less valid than mine. 

I'm commenting based upon what the OP said.

Comms69

lorsferg said:

It probably will be taken into account as the CMS now use inheritance, interest and other earnings to calculate the payments. They may not immediately increase the amount as I’m unsure how often they calculate but if they recalculate later and you have already spent the money it may put you into arrears. 

No they dont. Perhaps you should concentrate on being accurate with your advice; and NOT being the moral police.

Comms69

lorsferg said:

yksi said:

lorsferg said:
Please read Forum Rules. This is not a platform for this kind of response. If you don’t want to offer any helpful advice, then don’t comment. 

It's a forum for helping people to get their benefit entitlements, not for people asking how to dodge their responsibilities or hide money from authorities. Your post count indicates you've probably got two usernames, which is against the rules, since you only post threads for advice or play pretend policeman when it's not your job to tell other people off. If you don't have anything appropriate to say, don't comment?

OP I'm sorry for your loss. You might have had a legitimate reason for protecting money for your younger son, perhaps the mother of the elder one is well-off and doesn't need the support or there are already investments for the elder child. But it didn't look that way, so just imagine how it would look to your sons if they ever found out  

OP it is important to understand that any monetary obligation is separate to being able to spend time with the child. I can see you don't think that's fair (and I don't blame you) and it feels like you're giving money to your ex, but remember it's for your son not for her. Comms69 might have had a fair point in a roundabout way, have you taken legal advice if she's not being reasonable with letting you see him? This money might be the way you could get proper legal process. You deserve a relationship with your child, and I hope that you're able to one day spend time with your child even if you aren't friends with his mother. I have been a separating parent and it's awful and it was very very hard for me to drop the anger but it was important for my kids that we moved on. Maybe get an obligation free first meeting with someone who specialises in family law?

Now that’s a more helpful response. No I don’t have 2 profiles, no I don’t play pretend policeman, but like to offer any suggestions that might be of help to the OP. I feel very frustrated and angry when folks ask for help and responders use their reply to offer sarcastic, judgemental and unhelpful comments. However I’m glad that you have taken my comments on board and are now being supportive. 

You have offered zero helpful advice in your 20 posts....

Deenport

Comms69 said:

lorsferg said:

It probably will be taken into account as the CMS now use inheritance, interest and other earnings to calculate the payments. They may not immediately increase the amount as I’m unsure how often they calculate but if they recalculate later and you have already spent the money it may put you into arrears. 

No they dont. Perhaps you should concentrate on being accurate with your advice; and NOT being the moral police.

Read up on your facts. 

Deenport

Comms69 said:

lorsferg said:

yksi said:

lorsferg said:
Please read Forum Rules. This is not a platform for this kind of response. If you don’t want to offer any helpful advice, then don’t comment. 

It's a forum for helping people to get their benefit entitlements, not for people asking how to dodge their responsibilities or hide money from authorities. Your post count indicates you've probably got two usernames, which is against the rules, since you only post threads for advice or play pretend policeman when it's not your job to tell other people off. If you don't have anything appropriate to say, don't comment?

OP I'm sorry for your loss. You might have had a legitimate reason for protecting money for your younger son, perhaps the mother of the elder one is well-off and doesn't need the support or there are already investments for the elder child. But it didn't look that way, so just imagine how it would look to your sons if they ever found out  

OP it is important to understand that any monetary obligation is separate to being able to spend time with the child. I can see you don't think that's fair (and I don't blame you) and it feels like you're giving money to your ex, but remember it's for your son not for her. Comms69 might have had a fair point in a roundabout way, have you taken legal advice if she's not being reasonable with letting you see him? This money might be the way you could get proper legal process. You deserve a relationship with your child, and I hope that you're able to one day spend time with your child even if you aren't friends with his mother. I have been a separating parent and it's awful and it was very very hard for me to drop the anger but it was important for my kids that we moved on. Maybe get an obligation free first meeting with someone who specialises in family law?

Now that’s a more helpful response. No I don’t have 2 profiles, no I don’t play pretend policeman, but like to offer any suggestions that might be of help to the OP. I feel very frustrated and angry when folks ask for help and responders use their reply to offer sarcastic, judgemental and unhelpful comments. However I’m glad that you have taken my comments on board and are now being supportive. 

You have offered zero helpful advice in your 20 posts....

Oooh touchy

Comms69

lorsferg said:

Comms69 said:

lorsferg said:

It probably will be taken into account as the CMS now use inheritance, interest and other earnings to calculate the payments. They may not immediately increase the amount as I’m unsure how often they calculate but if they recalculate later and you have already spent the money it may put you into arrears. 

No they dont. Perhaps you should concentrate on being accurate with your advice; and NOT being the moral police.

Read up on your facts. 

I have. It's only applicable in exceptional cases; not as a default position....

So again - concentrate on your own advice and dont try to be the moral police; no-one has asked you to do that.

Deenport

Comms69 said:

lorsferg said:

Comms69 said:

lorsferg said:

It probably will be taken into account as the CMS now use inheritance, interest and other earnings to calculate the payments. They may not immediately increase the amount as I’m unsure how often they calculate but if they recalculate later and you have already spent the money it may put you into arrears. 

No they dont. Perhaps you should concentrate on being accurate with your advice; and NOT being the moral police.

Read up on your facts. 

I have. It's only applicable in exceptional cases; not as a default position....

So again - concentrate on your own advice and dont try to be the moral police; no-one has asked you to do that.

Well if that’s the case, you should have advised OP on that basis and refrained from sarcastic, judgemental opinions. 

Comms69

lorsferg said:

Comms69 said:

lorsferg said:

Comms69 said:

lorsferg said:

It probably will be taken into account as the CMS now use inheritance, interest and other earnings to calculate the payments. They may not immediately increase the amount as I’m unsure how often they calculate but if they recalculate later and you have already spent the money it may put you into arrears. 

No they dont. Perhaps you should concentrate on being accurate with your advice; and NOT being the moral police.

Read up on your facts. 

I have. It's only applicable in exceptional cases; not as a default position....

So again - concentrate on your own advice and dont try to be the moral police; no-one has asked you to do that.

Well if that’s the case, you should have advised OP on that basis and refrained from sarcastic, judgemental opinions. 

I tend to not advice people on everything that doesnt apply... Again worry less about what i post; and more about what you post....

Deenport

Comms69 said:

lorsferg said:

Comms69 said:

lorsferg said:

Comms69 said:

lorsferg said:

It probably will be taken into account as the CMS now use inheritance, interest and other earnings to calculate the payments. They may not immediately increase the amount as I’m unsure how often they calculate but if they recalculate later and you have already spent the money it may put you into arrears. 

No they dont. Perhaps you should concentrate on being accurate with your advice; and NOT being the moral police.

Read up on your facts. 

I have. It's only applicable in exceptional cases; not as a default position....

So again - concentrate on your own advice and dont try to be the moral police; no-one has asked you to do that.

Well if that’s the case, you should have advised OP on that basis and refrained from sarcastic, judgemental opinions. 

I tend to not advice people on everything that doesnt apply... Again worry less about what i post; and more about what you post....

This could go on and on and on. If you took your own advice and posted something kind and tried to offer options or suggestions to the OP then no comment would be made. Posting sarcastic unhelpful comments is simply highlighting your nature. I’m bored of this now. Over and out as the police would say

Hack2600

The reason I don't have anything to do with my oldest son is that when me and the ex split up. her and her parents made it very difficult for me to see him and also they do not live in the same city, also my ex has taken me to court to get my sons surname changed to hers so it is abvious that she doesn't want me having a relationship with him, when he is old enough to make his own choices and he wants to meet me I would welcome him with open arms and maybe one day explain my side of the story, since the day we split up I have paid my maintenance to him, all I want is clarity on wether my payments would go up or not, I didn't really want to explain why or my story but seen as some people are quick to judge me no one knows my situation or how I have had to sort my dads funeral out on my own whist worrying about my employment due to covid or how I'm gonna pay my morgage if I do get made redundant but I'm sure the cms and my ex will love the extra money if I have to pay it because I highly doubt my son will see a penny of it