Ex trying to money-grab left right and centre! HELP!

unicorn1984

Decided to delete------

princeofpounds

OP - you'll maximise your chances of getting answers if you cut all the emotional and descriptive stuff, and also use paragraphs.

TL;DR:
My partner owns a house and a separate plot of land behind.
Both of those plots are co-owned with his ex.
There was a lot of to-and-fro settlement offers being made and withdrawn.
We sold the house, on the basis of a letter that said she would cede her claim to the land.
Now she has learnt we plan to build on the land, she wants to rip up that commitment and is threatening to claim for other things.
There is also a custody battle over the children and related maintenance.

bbat

This all sounds super stressful. I would be careful as you have provided a lot of information. If the ex reads this, she will know it's about her. She may well also be looking for advice.
I cant help with any answers though. 

princeofpounds

Hi OP now for some specific points:

- The custody and child maintenance battle are entirely separate and have no bearing on the property situation. There is a families board that can help advise you on this.

- Have you had any legal advice through this process?

- The settlement offers that your partner made - were they made without prejudice or did you concede your position when you made them?

- To be clear, the house sale has completed, and the equity has been split?

- What form are/were the house and land owned? Joint tenants? Tenants in common? Were there any other agreements - particularly concerning respective shares - around the ownership of the properties that could be documented?

- Do you have a copy of the letter saying that she would give up her claim to the land if she received her share of the house proceeds?

- What is this rent she 'had' to pay? Presumably rent she paid whilst she was living elsewhere to the house that she owned, and after she was living at her mother's place?

In brief, my first impressions are:

- She owns/ed part of these properties, and had a full right to some of the value from them. You have reached the point where you have to stop thinking about moralities and narratives, and just concentrate on who is legally entitled to what. 
- Whilst the initial negotiations were amateurish and complicated, it appears - based on what you tell us - there was an agreement to settle on the basis that she would receive proceeds from the house, and cede her claim to the land. However, I cannot be sure about this, as it may have simply been an offer without prejudice or otherwise have no legal standing. If it stands however, you probably need to work on this basis, as you 'adjusted your position' to fulfil the terms of this agreement.
- You may need to engage legal representation of your own, in order to force her to cede the land. 
- She will never be able to claim her rent from you, and you are unlikely to be able to claim her missed contributions to the mortgage from her. To a certain extent, these two cancel each other out and are two sides of the same coin.