Gambling Recovery and COVID job loss

lixhul

Babybelles said:

You’ve been given lots of advice about registering on Gamstop so why aren’t you doing it? You still think you can ‘win’ your way out of these debts but you can’t.

The sad thing is you could turn things round now. If you don’t then selling the car will be the least of your worries as you will lose your home next.

Have you told your girlfriend about your addiction? She may be able to help & support you.
I really hope you manage to turn things around. Only you can do it though.

I told her on the first heavy.loss which happened around July which I lost £12,000 overnight because I was suicidal and she helped me through it, and I swore to not gamble again.

What I've done is then borrowed around £10K since and gambled all that away too. I just can't tell her or anyone.

I'm going to be constantly stressed now having £1K left. Got no space for any mistake at all now.

I'll do an SOA at end of month but I was really positive then out of nowhere chucked another £2000 to Roulette. I'm close to calling it, I don't think I'll ever get rid of the addiction and I'm not sure what I'm fighting for anymore.

I can see me losing my car then my house. I have bought a gambling book and I'll read it and I pray it'll work. I'm going to be poorer at the end of this month than I was the last again and it's so frustrating. I was doing so well and I have to take every day as it comes 

lixhul

I don't know how I can last with just £1000 in cash spare. That's my biggest worry.

Babybelles

It is only money at the end of the day & you can sort the debt part out with a plan. The addiction is another story though. You can overcome it but you are going to need some professional help to give you the best chance.

Please try to gain the courage to register on Gamstop as this will be a big step in the right direction.

I’m glad you’ve managed to confide in your partner. I understand why you don’t want to tell her about your recent losses, but maybe once you’ve made a plan to really tackle this addiction you can do so.

All is not lost yet, just remember that. There are plenty of ex-gamblers out there & you can get some fantastic advice off some of them here. 

You just need some help with breaking the temptation & the addiction. Just give yourself the best chance you can to fight it & use whatever tools you can to do so.

alt80

The self destructive behaviour mate it’s 100% not worth it. I’m not a gambler but have been going down the road of over leveraging in the hope it pulls me out of debt (property). Other self destructive stuff too so know I’m being a hypocrite or from experience.

Recovery2021

Hi,

Long time lurker but I want to post to try and help.

Nothing is as bad as it seems. Even after losing more money this afternoon it truly isn't the end of the world, it can and will get better but you must want it for yourself. The problem isn't a debt problem it's a gambling problem and by not acknowledging that and trying to win back the losses it will just increase the debt problem. 

I am 30 years old. I have gambled for as long as I can remember. The majority of that time addictively. Even though I knew I was addicted I tried to act like I wasn't or I could overcome it without help.

I spiralled like many through debt with always the opinion I would win it back. Sometimes I would but the debt would always resurface and ultimately end up higher. I've had family/friends bail me out but still I refused to register for gamstop. I closed many, many gambling accounts when I was in a rut but never made that step to register for gamstop which I believe is what you are facing now. I always told myself by closing the account I was using that was fine but ultimately I'd always find a way to open another. The addictive part of me wouldn't let me sign up to gamstop which I feel is happening with you.

Last year I gambled far less. I had far less accounts to choose from. I naively thought I'd finally beaten the addiction. I even went 3 months from march without gambling. The longest since I was about 15. I had paid off most of my debts and had savings for the first time in my life for a house deposit. Unfortunately I was lured back in during the summer stupidly believing I could gamble under control. By the winter I had lost all of those savings.

The addictive part of me told myself to win it back just like it had the time I had debts. However on 31st December I finally after years of refusing signed up to gamstop and haven't bet since. I know its not going to be easy from here but for the first time in my life I feel in control. Yes I lost all those savings and yes I have a bit of debt left but I also believe I won't go chasing those savings or losses back which would ultimately lead to a worse situation.

I always believed the money I lost was rightfully mine and it had been stolen from me, that's what made me go back and even though I'd closed so many accounts there was always a "betsteve" or "betjohn" bookmaker to open a new one with. I finally feel at peace that the money I've lost is lost and not mine and by signing up to gamstop is the best decision I've ever made.

Please please please do the same! I know why you aren't doing it because a small part of you doesn't want it to end forever but trust me even though its only been a couple of weeks it feels like a new life to me. Even more so than when I went 3 months without a bet as even then I knew it was still lurking in the background.

Please take care. 

IrishSean

Well done @Recovery2021

30th Jan is my virtual 5 month chip, gamble free.
Gamstop is a game changer: no Uk bookmaker or casino can accept you once you sign up. 

I hope OP is OK & knows they can come through this.

Babybelles

@Recovery2021 thank you for sharing your story as I think it can only benefit the poster to hear other peoples experiences.

I’m really glad you made the decision to register with Gamstop & wish you well on your journey to recovery.

IrishSean

Agreed, when you take that step into 'the light' you realise 3 things:

1) the money you've lost is 'worth' not feeling like a compulsive gambler any more
2) you hate casinos & feel physically repulsed at giving them another penny
3) you've broken the mindset that 'a big win' cures all (I won £14k then £21k and it cured nothing). 

In short, any short-term dopamine fix buzz of a gamble is nothing like the rarefied air of being gamble free, regardless of your debt. I read of people blissfully happy with £250k of gambling debts because they truly stopped & don't class themselves as a gambling addict any more. 

@Recovery2021 & I know that feeling: it starts with gamstop. 30 seconds and you'll feel a different person.  

Recovery2021

Thanks both. 
I completely agree, the amount of times I won big and felt it would cure everything and then be in a worse situation a month or two later because I'd carried on I have lost count of. I get paid next week and its seems refreshing not to be thinking of how to win back previous losses as soon as I get paid. Obviously its only the start and challenges will arise when the bookmakers open up again etc (I've not been inside a bookmakers regularly for a good number of years but clearly that could change). 

To the OP I hope today is a new day and you feel better. I know when in your shoes I would still be thinking gamstop isn't an option as you feel you can control it and the addictive side of you is telling you not to close all avenues but you must see past that. You will never recover the losses, even if you win big you will carry on. You have to draw a line in it all and move on from the "value" of your losses on focus on the future. I hope you are doing well. 

IrishSean

I had reduced spending on gambling since end Nov 19.
Covid was LBM #1 for me: I knew world would change & I needed to change with it.
Fell off the wagon a bit in june &July with bookies spending, then 9yo had a covid test 30/08/20 after starting back to school: I made a vow that a negative result would be me done, not even a raffle ticket, lotto or £5 football coupon. I stuck some scratchcards in christmas crackers to maintain a family tradition but not a penny spent on me, by me since 1st Sept. 
Have loads more ££ and just don't go in bookies; I look in sometimes, see the same faces and wonder how much they are down since I stopped. FOBTs are legalised theft: just incredible they're not limited to casinos only. Trust me even at max £2 spin you can still lose several hundred an hour. I played one about June last year, 90 £2 spins, no win; like none! Live casinos & online live is bad but FOBTs are just criminal.

I hope OP can make the break; stay strong @Recovery2021 👍, you're smashing it mate.