Is finding a home mean to be this hard?

Kynthia

It is terrifying and stressful that first time you buy. However something needs to change as you clearly are looking for something that you can't afford or are looking at locations that you will never buy in. 

I remember going through this myself and fortunately my mum sat me down and helped me focus on the important things. You need to focus on the top priorities and accept you won't get the other wants on your list as clearly it's not going to happen. Stop looking for potential to add value and too much longevity (unless you are prepared to do major works) and focus on getting a home for now. 

Focus on ease of commute to work, parking and anything else that would affect your daily life there as it's often the daily annoyances that affect you the most. Also be careful of anything that would make it difficult to sell if you needed to like lease length, non-standard construction, increasing ground rent, etc. Decor you can change so this is where you can be more flexible.

Consider looking in a different area. We'd all love to be in the nicest part of town but many people have to look further out of London than they'd like. Alway you will have to pay more than you think the property is worth, but after you own the place you don't think about that any more. 

DD265

I made a spreadsheet with must haves, won't touches and nice to haves, plus commute options, crime and flood stats. It took a little while to fill in for each property, but it meant that we weren't looking at anything that didn't tick all of the necessary boxes barring one from a misleading estate agent. Initially I was doing all the hunting via Rightmove, but when 7 out of 8 properties couldn't be viewed as they were 'sold' (but still availble on RM...), I put myself on the books of local estate agents which I wish I'd done to begin with. Out of four properties we viewed, there was the wreck, one that was a little small and we'd hoped might be reconfigurable (but wasn't), and then two we were torn between, but ultimately bought the one based on area.

I think maybe you should revisit some of those properties you really liked but weren't sure about for the long term. It never even occurred to us that we could open up the downstairs living space, until we'd lived here a year and a neighbour explained that they'd done just that. We may decide we'd prefer to move elsewhere instead, but we feel like there are options and we didn't have those when we bought the house. Instead of being just the first rung on the ladder, this house may end up being longer term than we initially thought.

Thrugelmir

leypt1 said:

The fundamental issue is probably that we just can't afford the ideal house in anything approaching a good location, and we struggle to know where to compromise and what's "a good buy".

You are buying a home not an investment. It's the first step on the ladder.  I'd start with ease of commute. Even if it's longer than you'd really like. 

leypt1

MovingForwards said:

Expand your search areas.
Write a list of must have, would be nice to have, can live with out.
Compromise and accept you may not get exactly what you want, where you want it and for the budget you have.
Taking 16 months and only 3 offers means something is wrong somewhere.

I'm aware this year has been difficult, but being 90 minutes away means you cannot act quickly if something pops on the market.

Thanks, the list is a good idea.
4 months! If we'd been looking for 16 I'm pretty sure I'd be dead 

leypt1

Kynthia said:

It is terrifying and stressful that first time you buy. However something needs to change as you clearly are looking for something that you can't afford or are looking at locations that you will never buy in. 

I remember going through this myself and fortunately my mum sat me down and helped me focus on the important things. You need to focus on the top priorities and accept you won't get the other wants on your list as clearly it's not going to happen. Stop looking for potential to add value and too much longevity (unless you are prepared to do major works) and focus on getting a home for now. 

Focus on ease of commute to work, parking and anything else that would affect your daily life there as it's often the daily annoyances that affect you the most. Also be careful of anything that would make it difficult to sell if you needed to like lease length, non-standard construction, increasing ground rent, etc. Decor you can change so this is where you can be more flexible.

Consider looking in a different area. We'd all love to be in the nicest part of town but many people have to look further out of London than they'd like. Alway you will have to pay more than you think the property is worth, but after you own the place you don't think about that any more. 

Thank you - my OH read these replies and made a very interesting point: somehow, imperceptibly, over the last 2-3 weeks, we've shifted from talking about a nice 2 bed garden flat for the next 5-8 years to a family home for the next 15 (we don't even know whether we want kids?!)
I think we need to take a step back and, as you say, focus on what works for us now
Sadly the last place we liked a lot was indeed non-standard construction - this is why we didn't offer in the end

leypt1

DD265 said:

I made a spreadsheet with must haves, won't touches and nice to haves, plus commute options, crime and flood stats. It took a little while to fill in for each property, but it meant that we weren't looking at anything that didn't tick all of the necessary boxes barring one from a misleading estate agent. Initially I was doing all the hunting via Rightmove, but when 7 out of 8 properties couldn't be viewed as they were 'sold' (but still availble on RM...), I put myself on the books of local estate agents which I wish I'd done to begin with. Out of four properties we viewed, there was the wreck, one that was a little small and we'd hoped might be reconfigurable (but wasn't), and then two we were torn between, but ultimately bought the one based on area.

I think maybe you should revisit some of those properties you really liked but weren't sure about for the long term. It never even occurred to us that we could open up the downstairs living space, until we'd lived here a year and a neighbour explained that they'd done just that. We may decide we'd prefer to move elsewhere instead, but we feel like there are options and we didn't have those when we bought the house. Instead of being just the first rung on the ladder, this house may end up being longer term than we initially thought.

Yes - I remember tears (a few months ago now) when a brilliant flat came up but had somehow already had an open day when it had only come up the day before - it took me a few texts from estate agents about flats that weren't on the market yet before I became savvy to what was happening here
We have a majestic spreadsheet but have definitely taken on the brilliant advice from you and others to be very honest about our must have criteria - I think one of our issues has been that we are trying to decide on a property by property basis, thinking that some will have their deficiencies balanced out by other nice qualities. The first two that we offered on actually wouldn't have made it through a very strict spreadsheet (lack of direct access to garden)

leypt1

Thanks a lot everyone, lots of brilliant and very helpful advice which has given us a bit of clarity. We have some promising viewings lined up this weekend - including for a house on the same street as a house we viewed last weekend, so perhaps we are narrowing down after all!
Will update

DD265

Good luck!

Acorn22

The house selling and buying process can be vastly different for everyone. Some people sale through the whole thing with no problems at all and that includes those people who find a property easily and have their first offer accepted and move in 3 months later. For those people whose house finding process has come so easily, it is very difficult to relate to the many people whose experience is in total contrast to that when its a complete nightmare. I sold my property 18 months ago and still havn't been able to buy yet, despite entering 3 sealed bids (and losing) pipped to the post with another, having to pull out of one due to a terrible survey and latest one due to no building regs and a very dogey survey so was advised by solicitor to run for the hills. So sometimes it just takes a lot of patience and time to get it right. As others have mentioned if you dont want to be tied into a rental look at air bnbs or holiday cottages. I did both and still in th latter as it saves you having to pay deposits,reference fees and you dont have the stress of setting up bills in your name for what you hope is a relatively short time. With Covid at th mo, many hospitality places would love to have someone stay for a longer stretch of time amd you wil be able to get a deal, so definitely worth looking around for that if a house doesnt come up for you soon. Best of luck!

hazyjo

I don't usually have a problem finding somewhere, but my search before last was a nightmare. I couldn't find what I want. Was prob that my budget was low for what I wanted.

And I had my eye on one particular house but the EA was so obstructive as it was overpriced and my offer was low and they kept telling me to ring back in a couple of weeks.

Took weeks to finally agree a price - thankfully it was still available! I literally caught it at the bottom of the last crash. A week or month later, it would've gone, prob for loads more.

I did try to buy in Epping once tonight. Found lots of houses but everything kept falling through or chains collapsed. In the end I seriously questioned if I was meant to live there. Changed area, and it all fell into place and found somewhere on Day One of viewing! (Although that's another story lol.)

PS  what I'm trying to say is up the budget, or drop the wishlist, or change area! If its meant to be it'll be