Sports team behaviour, what is acceptable?

gt568

I'm really curious as to what sport this is?

gt568

Is it Ice Hockey?

elsien

gt568 said:

Is it Ice Hockey?

They’ve already made it clear they’re not going to be more specific. Not much point keeping on asking. 

Manxman_in_exile

BananaRepublic said:

I’d rather be very circumspect to avoid anyone connecting the dots, as it’s a small community. The worst ones play at a higher level and are younger, and I assume it’s the youth aspect (18+) that is the issue ie immaturity. Yes of course going to the police is the hydrogen bomb option, but that would leave a lot of fallout, and IMO this is due to lack of control and stupidity, not malice. 

She is going to sound out the more sensible team mates, a small group complaining would be a safer less antagonistic option and help protect her. 

Hmmm...  I think you are searching for excuses there a bit, as to answer your original question, that sort of behaviour is simply not acceptable in a sports team.  It's not acceptable in any context .  And if it is down to immaturity or a lack of control and not malice, then it's time some people got a very firm boot up the backside.

Your friend sounding out more sensible team mates is an option, but I'd be just as worried by what you put in your first post: "She said she had spoken to one of the top people, and he has since blanked her. She could leave and train with one team only (she is a member of two teams), or she could make a formal complaint. The problem of course is that it's a small world, and were she to complain, she might get a reputation that followed her around and damaged her future*".  That doesn't sound too hopeful to me.

Sport is funny because sometimes the love of it can make you lose all common sense and critical ability.  Sometimes the people involved simply aren't worth associating with no matter how much you love the sport.

(I think you've given away too many dots already.  I doubt anybody involved would be taking any notice of this thread)

*TBH, that last bit "... followed her around etc..." would be good enough reason for me to dump the sport as you/she clearly have a low opinion of the people involved.

ceremony

I'm a female athlete in a male-dominated sport too. I've had bad things happen and for all that people say "oh, that's terrible, we wouldn't let that happen HERE" or "people shouldn't be doing that", nothing changes when you complain. It does help if you can complain as a group, or complain anonymously to the NGB.

Other than that, if the option exists then leaving to go to a smaller club that's less competitive could help. Depending on the sport I've noticed that the more 'casual' clubs tend to attract a better demographic. The more 'casual' coaches area also more willing to stamp out bad behaviour because they're not scared of losing a talented athlete by telling them off

BananaRepublic

No most people involved in this sport are really pleasant, most coaches are decent. I’ve met so many interesting people from so many different backgrounds. You know which sport I am talking about, and there are good reasons why many of us are potty about it. She hadn’t thought about sounding out her more mature team mates, so that is a positive step to take. 

I suspect this is a sign of something more widespread in our society. Look at YouTube comments, some are misogynistic, racist and/or homophobic. There is a level of nastiness in the anonymous social media land that I find distasteful. And I speak as someone who loathes woke ‘culture’. This could be related to YouTube and other sites feeding us links based on previous page visits, reinforcing our prejudices and creating division. 

Barny1979

Is the club part of a Good Standards initiative, such as Clubmark for example https://www.ecb.co.uk/be-involved/club-support/clubmark If they are, then this behaviour may conflict with the standards that they should meet.

theoretica

One option would be to start discussion not as 'I am complaining about this' but along the lines of do you realise how bad the consequences could be if the club was associated with this, it has clearly got out of hand...  I imagine a bit of news report searching could come up with some news articles to refer to of other clubs which had scandals or worse.

Petriix

My 5-a-side football group has a WhatsApp group which constantly gets spammed with !!!!!! and other offensive content. I simply left the WhatsApp group and asked the organiser to message or email me individually with any important communication.

silverwhistle

Of course it's not acceptable, doesn't matter the sport or the level. In my women's football team we do communicate via social media groups but anything untoward would be clamped down on immediately. There's always cliques within teams, and groups of mates, but what you describe would be completely unacceptable.  We have a safeguarding officer in the club as girls of 16 can play 'adult' football and I assume most organised sports have similar?  As a super veteran I always communicate through the group to be seen to be above board: sad but safe.

Raising concerns is difficult, and I once had a situation, when I was playing abroad, of the grooming of a minor. I observed things and raised it with an older player, but she was both nice and naive, so got nowhere there. I can speak the language but it's difficult when you don't know the local ropes. Later I spoke  to an ex-player about it: "why do you think I left the team?" she said, in disgust, and she had got nowhere either.

So raise it with others, discreetly; research guidelines at national level, including protection for whistleblowers, and come back here for support if you need it.