First Steps to Solvency

theoretica

Being clear on what money is available for personal spending is very valuable - whether it is as separate accounts or just a limit and also being clear when there are higher budget categories because one person values that - cars, schooling, holidays, horses, clothes...  However, there is a huge potential for friction between different people and a need for clarity on what comes out of individual spends and what out of joint. Also be aware of the temptation to see my spending as reasonable and important while yours is frivolous luxury. 

alt80

@theoretica I wasn't annoyed due to what it was - I've ordered the same case in the past tbf and it's lasted the length of the 2 year contract and not damaged the phone. I was annoyed because she didn't need a new case and I'm finding dealing with this stressful enough. It's a pre-order of the series 6 Apple Watch today - I did say I'd get her a new one when it launched tbf.

RelievedSheff

You need to put a stop to this spending or you are not going to get anywhere!

theoretica

alt80 said:

@theoretica I wasn't annoyed due to what it was - I've ordered the same case in the past tbf and it's lasted the length of the 2 year contract and not damaged the phone. I was annoyed because she didn't need a new case and I'm finding dealing with this stressful enough. It's a pre-order of the series 6 Apple Watch today - I did say I'd get her a new one when it launched tbf.

That is one reason for separate accounts - you don't see what the other is spending in such detail.  Sometimes having a portion or category out of sight and not needing your thought is a bonus.

alt80

@RelievedSheff I only agreed to it because I told her to wait for the new one launching two months ago and she’s already told all her mates she can’t wait to get it. She’s got a series 1 which I don’t even think updates now.

QueenJess

alt80 said:

@RelievedSheff I only agreed to it because I told her to wait for the new one launching two months ago and she’s already told all her mates she can’t wait to get it. She’s got a series 1 which I don’t even think updates now.

I get it, but who cares what other people think?  Just say you changed your mind?  If you use it all the time and the old one is useless then you must first save up for a new one.  Also, think about buying the series one down from that second hand as lots of others will be jumping to buy the new one.  That way it will still last quite a few years, but comes without such a significant price tag.

Alternatively, IF it fits within your presents budget, then tell her that's her birthday and xmas present done for the year and she can't have anything else?

So what if you said to wait two months ago?  This is a new month and you are turning a corner with the spending.  You can't continue to keep spending and new apple products cost a bomb.

purplehippo276

alt80 said:

I certainly don't have £1k/m left after the min payments, well not currently but the min payments add up to very close to £1k/m. 

I'm actually wondering if I can export my personal accounts from the online banking into some accounting software I have - it should help me to see where it's going? I do this with my business - it automatically refreshes. Does anyone know if you can do it with your personal accounts (and credit cards)?

Opening my online banking is basically just a game of let's play the direct debit and overdraft lottery - how many direct debits and are we going overdrawn today? Generally avoid looking at it until the end of the month and I'd laugh if it wasn't so embarrassing. So there needs to be some semblance of order if I've going to get anywhere if only to get things paid for upfront and to cut the direct debits down a bit.

Have currently just got (easy) access to the one card.

@alt80 try downloading the Money Dashboard app. Pulls all your credit card and bank accounts Together in one place, and tells you in advance which direct debits are due to come out next, and what you’ll have left after they come out. 

purplehippo276

There’s another app called Yolt which I think does the same thing. 

mark55man

Wow - this is busy, but a lot of sense being talked by all.  Especially you OP, I think those of us long term on the scenic route have erased from our memories just how traumatic the first few weeks and months are, especially as pre light bulb commitments like the watch come at you. 

@alt80 don't panic - you got this.  Personally, I am not hard core (very soft and I'm sure I'll get told), so for me at £300 quid I would probably get the watch for your OH but in a "that's it sort of way - we just need a quiet year and we need to get straight then it will be better but never the same sort of way".  Then you will find each month gets easier, as you will come to learn the rhythm of your accounts, know when the crunch points are - also you will find it simpler as the things you don't need get cancelled and maybe reduce the number of cards and so forth you have to deal with.  Then you will use your business brain and get dashboards or spreadsheets or whatever, and highlight the spends and categories, and highlight the fixed costs and the annual costs.  

But that will take months so give yourself a break, I think most diaries get off to a gentler start - but your numbers are just bigger (not that it will take as long as some to clear, because when you get the outflows sorted the inflows will erode the numbers very quickly).  It's a bit like this - elephants and mice are actually very similar biologically, but people don;t go to the zoo to see the mice

 

alt80

I’ve just downloaded and set up Yolt (better reviews than money dashboard (that app seemed to have two different but similar apps). Thank you so much, it’s saved a lot of time for me on spreadsheets and being able to see the cards alongside the current account really helps.

Wife has sold another bag (expensive one). I’ve told her that can pay for the watch and her phone case lol. She was ok with that. 🙂 Also told her she can keep the nail money for spends should give her £75/m at the moment not a lot but something so she can have some phone thing or save for a few months and buy a coat or something.

@queenjess my wife is an Apple addict no kidding she sat watching Tim Cook with her mate on FaceTime lol. We usually upgrade her phone to the latest every year mad but keeps her happy. No way will she sacrifice on that stuff!