First Steps to Solvency

warby68

Day 173 - you are doing brilliantly.

There will be reminders, like your troubled employee, but your ability to deal with them, protect your recovery and move on is standing out. The employee lashing out should be familiar territory - he was being confronted while not ready to deal. You got there, hopefully you can help him do the same.

It genuinely makes me happy to come on and read your posts - I suspect seeing you succeed will spur on others too who only read here. 

You've turned your tanker around 

strawb_shortcake

alt80 said:

Day 172

planned to look through finances ready for budget reset weekend but I’m whacked after work and really !!!!!! struggling tbh. Slightly better sleep last night but not amazing got my nighttime tea and going to go to bed earlier do guided meditation in hope it helps a bit. 

One of my staff is struggling with booze somewhat after split with wife. Been going on a while and he’s always been a big drinker but I couldn’t let it slide today. Spoke to him this afternoon, told him we just can’t go on like this, half suspected he wouldn’t take it well and he didn’t. Really not the !!!!!! one him telling me I wouldn’t be saying any of this if I’d had a line. He knows I’m in recovery so it was just a really !!!!!! thing to hear. I’ve been in bits tonight tbh despite him sending me a !!!!!! grovelling apology message. I know I can’t let go of my days no matter what been sat reading everything I’ve written about the positives of recovery - it helps and I have got through. Set reminder on my phone to do same tomorrow as I’ve added about 7 more things. 100% determined to stay on this road and thinking about the stability of my personal finances without the self destructive things in my life anymore is amazing tbh I’d never thought I’d ever be able to say I will feel I’m in a financially stable position no longer making stupid choices and overly risky decisions.

Firstly well done Alt, you are doing amazing!

WRT your member of staff, perhaps you are the one he needs to hear from, someone with lived experience that has worked hard to overcome an addiction, he lashed out same as you did when confronted by others about your problems, it might just take time for him to come round and accept where he is. 
This could well be another area where you help, support and inspire others to overcome their demons

Sun_Addict

Fantastic progress and what a difference it's made to your life. You're in the best position to help the member of staff, he couldn't find a better role model than you. Someone I used to work with was an alcoholic, she started to struggle with work and became very unreliable. The days she turned up for work you could tell she'd been drinking. Work tried to help her but eventually she lost her job. Sadly not long after that she passed away in her early 40s. What a waste. I hope that outcome can be prevented for your staff member.

enthusiasticsaver

I would echo others and say don’t be too hard on the employee who lashed out at you. A year ago I can imagine you doing the same to anyone who called you an addict and needed to change. I too have an ex work colleague who could not give up alcohol. She lost her job and most of her friends and family even her daughters keep their distance. She lost her driving licence and even ended up in prison for a night to sober up so as a female professional you would think that was rock bottom and she still could not give it up in spite of many of us trying. Two stints of rehab and numerous hospital stays and being warned another drink could kill her she still sometimes turns to it although it has ruined her life and no doubt will end it at some point. Only you know if you are strong enough yet to mentor your employee through this but encourage him to get professional help as you did and reassure him there is something to live for. Of course he has the added problem of a marriage break up but the drinking may well be the cause of friction there anyway. 

Keep on doing what you are doing anyway as it is clearly working for you. Your wife deserves praise too for supporting you (on the whole). 

RelievedSheff

Day 173 today.

Well done on getting through what sounds like a tough day yesterday.

ladyholly

As others have said well done on a difficult day. It is not easy for someone to throw your mistakes at you when you are trying to help them see theirs. Do your employees have health insurance. If so you could suggest he uses it as you have done. Unfortunately if he has to go the public services route it is a lot harder to get help.

stymied

Another positive to add to your list there. If you weren’t in recovery you probably wouldn’t have said anything to your employee and ultimately your business would have suffered.

alt80

Day 173 absolutely whacked again. 

Had chance this evening to check through my finances for the month. 
Starting balance total: £25,775
Month end balance total: £23535
Paid the usual £1430 and an additional £810 from surplus

This month the insurance for my Range Rover has been paid in full. Wife has gone a little over budget with the beauty but planned appointments for coming month are less so it evens out. £0 alcohol spend. Mentioned in alcohol thread I'm planning to keep adding +1 days and I am also planning an AF Christmas. I am afraid if I go to any events over Christmas and drink it has the potential to lead to potential relapse so idk possibly overly cautious / hyper aware but it's 100% not worth it for me. Bit of an overspend on eating out / coffee this month. From next year I'm just going to set yearly amounts and work to that. All comes right and I find working to an annual amount for each thing makes more sense to me even though I plan to keep looking through weekly on an interim basis to crunch data so it's not a massive task at the end of the month and monthly review / more in depth review each quarter. I've not come across anyone else on here who works in this way but I need to see how the data corresponds to the goal over the period of time I'm working to which is flexible to a point but involves forward planning of 0% etc. Fwiw I think this could be of use to a lot of people on here in similar situations who can take advantage of 0% borrowing avoiding paying interest on debt and forward planning large purchases that would perhaps be put on conventional secured borrowing HP / PCP etc avoiding interest baring loans in favour of playing the 0% game.  

On another but related note - since we've had the electric car I've been burning through less and less petrol. I set a £500/m target budget for petrol: this month I've come in at half. 

You know who you are but I can't thank some people on here enough when I look back over the past year for making me actually think about my personal finances and put myself in a stable position to move forwards away from the absolute !!!!!! car crash it was and towards a future. I can now acknowledge my personal life/ problems/ way I chose to live was affecting my business. I went through life being terrified of the whole lot unwinding and thinking any efforts made towards dealing with my financial situation was utterly futile I'm shoring up my very !!!!!! shallow foundations and for the first time in my adult life I'm not utterly terrified of the future and what it holds for me. Tbt I saw my parents lose everything they'd worked for when I was in my early / mid 20s and I don't think I ever got over it even though I wasn't a kid or living at home seeing my parents lose their home and their livelihood it was !!!!!! horrendous for them. I spent years avoiding them, years I'll never get back. They are fine, fit and healthy for their age but they've slowed and when I saw them last month really made an effort to spend time with them I was in absolute bits realisation they are old now and ultimately one day aren't going to be on the end of the phone. All I'll have is memories and one day that's all my son will have of us. Some days I cry myself to sleep thinking about what I've put my family through but I don't get through all I do is put them through a whole new !!!!!! world of pain. I'm still sure I'd not survive financially going under but I spent years on what I look back and can only see as a path to self obliteration with a whole !!!!!! load of collateral literally and in a more human sense. 

That was a lot longer than it was meant to be haha.

alt80

@sarahevie1 thank you. 

I know all sorts of people in property. Not all are 'flashy' by any stretch, just the ones I chose to become close to. Not entirely fair but true amongst my former close circle of friends. It isn't easy to walk away from people you go back years with but I try to remind myself I have my family, my staff and two other people I can count on. 

@warby68 / @annabanana82 / @Sun_Addict / @enthusiasticsaver / @RelievedSheff / @ladyholly / @stymied thanks all means a lot. Unfortunately drinking is a massive problem generally and tbh there has been a cultural shift within my business recently. Look back and I've lost a few good members of staff over the years I suspect in part due to the culture I had a big part in cultivating over the years. Had a lot of thinking to do recently especially with Christmas coming up and us no longer being in a lockdown. Only a week ago a few of them went out at the weekend I know at least two follow on to the next level and I couldn't stop thinking about my grad who chose to go with them praying they didn't get any. Being honest with myself pre-covid I'd have been there and I don't think there was a time I stopped at a drink somehow managed to convince myself the ones who did go out only thought I did it on the occasional night out still though fml.

Really shouldn't be up at this time ha sleep def not forthcoming currently but should at least try going to bed.

RelievedSheff

You are doing great. You will be debt free before me at this rate