First Steps to Solvency

ThatKiss

alt80 said:

No other diaries seem to have this going on tried to work out what everyone else is doing with cars tbh ha so what is everyone on here doing for cars – just accept it as a monthly drain on the income or own outright for a very long period of time?

Just to chip in here, my historic debt essentially came from buying a couple of cars on interest free cards and then not really doing anything to pay them off beyond minimums, and as I began to earn more I wanted bigger and better cars which then went on finance. Nothing on the scale/cost of your RR of course, but significant enough to take chunks out of my income. I've kept my first car, which is a small classic ( ) as a "fun" second/project car.

Ultimately I came to the point where I had moved much nearer to work and wasn't getting the use out of my main car to make what I was paying worthwhile, so I traded in for a new, no-frills car that gets me from a to b. For all the time I spend in it, I can't say I miss having heated seats or cruise control, nice as they would be.

I do get where you're coming from with the RR to an extent. My classic has been on the road less than half the time I've owned it and I've been told numerous times to sell or scrap it, but I can't imagine doing either. It's a car I always wanted as a wee boy and finally getting my hands on one was a life goal achieved. I've seen too many people I know regret giving up cars they genuinely love due to temporary circumstances so I'm not falling into that trap! Now that I'm almost debt-free it'll start to see some love - but will be prioritised alongside other things I've put off while paying off my debt.

Willowtree222

I spent the first two months o. My diary justifying why I needed to keep my Audi and lots of very helpful comments on here as to why it was just a car and what I needed to do. I traded mine for the opposite end and it did me well. I'm now in a different car but was very careful what I bought and will own it outright and keep it for a long period of time. Once I got rid of the Audi, and saw the debt just disappear, it made a huge difference to how I viewed cars. I still love cars and would like to go back to a better one but it no longer holds the same pull as it did previously. The want to be debt free by far outweighs anything else now. 
Looking at your recent posts suggests you're really moving in this direction. You might not get rid of the RR but you're more and more about the debt and making sure you're sustainable x

One-step-at-a-time

What is everyone on here doing for cars?
As little as possible, you could never describe us as car people in a million years I've never cared about cars at all other than as a means from getting from A to B, but I've always walked or got the bus to work, and living near London use(d) the train & tube a lot. DH only cares whether a car is cheap to run, easy to get parts for, and can fit his work and hobby gear in the boot. We've only ever bought used cars and had periods of being car-free. The current one cost £3k when we got it, and is now 14 years old with close to 180k miles on it. When it gives up the ghost (hopefully not for a while, it sailed through the MOT last month) we'll buy outright whatever cheap used car is the best fit at that point. 

alt80

BoJo going to tell us if we can have a hol in 2 weeks time - because suddenly he’ll know all there is to know on corona on 22nd Feb. This is now so weird I’m not even angry anymore. Tbt I’m safer in lockdown ha so now dreading it being lifted lol. Wife wants it to end asap still.

Re cars @enthusiasticsaver / @getmore4less / @ThatKiss / @Nicnak / @One-step-at-a-time Thanks all good to see some different points of view even if it’s not really affected my position on cars - I do spend a lot of money on the cars and I think it’s accepting if I continue to do that other things are going to have to be more of a compromise. Before I couldn’t accept the compromise - progress of sorts better than none at all ha. Dealing with the numbers is helping me with that - what are my/ wife’s priorities and what do we need to cover those then what’s left over for other stuff. Not even angry about it at the moment being pragmatic rather than raging about needing to earn more to cover the never ending list of things I’d like to spend money on ha. No amount ever enough.

My personal priorities fit into house/ cars mainly. I’ve accepted I 100 do not need another higher value home and tbh the val of my res home doesn’t make me a loser which is where I always was with it - discussed in the counselling at what value would those thoughts change and why and I couldn’t answer same with income lol so just need to move on - it’s still a want but parked and I’m chilled about it tbt for first time in my life. Was obsessed with getting a higher value (yeah 100% ego there, to say to mates I’ve got a 7 fig res home - idiot ha), 6/7 beds, higher ceilings, pref Georgian/ Regency, larger plot. Accepted all that is 100% tinsel rather than a need. Only person who ever stays is JV mate and tbh I’d rather than didn’t happen again anytime soon so don’t need 6/ 7 beds. Tbh a lot about this house is already tinsel ha. Weird accepting I may not move again - always moved a fair bit doing the live in flips before this place and lived here for son’s whole life. Cars are still more difficult - tbt if I could forego the Range Rover and have 2 mid spec cars something like C estate and the 440i would make my life a lot easier financially I know that. Range Rover is a stupid amount of money I know that too have battled with do I need one long term just know I wouldn’t be satisfied with anything else. Stupid I know but would rather have no other cars but the Range than ten cars that aren’t a Range Rover. Yeah don’t know what’s wrong with me either ha 100% mental. Ideal world keep it long term a bit worried about it deteriorating and tech becoming obsolete- use the nav etc all the time but know maintenance costs even at 15/20 years old will be cheaper than the finance is now and can still enjoy the car. Tbh I do use the toys heated/ cooled seats steering wheel, rear entertainment etc. When wife drives 100% I’ve got the massage function on and watch the tv I !!!!!! love it haha. Yeah know you don’t need this stuff in a car and it’s tinsel etc.

As been noticed, 100 I’m a badge wh*re not going to pretend otherwise. Not just cars practically everything lol Wife no better, in fact she’s worse in some ways no value filter whatsoever there. Told her we need to keep it in check though 

@Mrs_F_2017 thanks I think you’re right. Half my problem with reading is I use the iPad for reading lol.

Still taking the other stuff one day at a time. Crashed this afternoon exhausted again led to giving the counsellor a call. Really am trying to put the right things in place to not go down the destructive road again.

@ryanm8655 ha yeah I’m through the worst of it, just dealing with the ongoing now. Had breaks before. Lockdown 1 felt a lot better for staying away so keeping that in mind mate. 

Still got the anxiety about drinking Sunday. Have a weird thing going on with spending too actually - save and go back 9/10 decide I don’t want/ need enough to actually spend. Same thing happening for wife it’s odd.

Haha not planning to drink enough to suffer the consequences literally planning to share a bottle of Champagne and that be it. No liver issues or anything else I’m aware of. Still considering the full body mri scan just to check be about £700 (PMI only covers with referral) had one before lol wife can’t stand the health stuff starting again only thing stopping me tbh.

theoretica

alt80 said:

Have a weird thing going on with spending too actually - save and go back 9/10 decide I don’t want/ need enough to actually spend. Same thing happening for wife it’s odd.

Doesn't seem weird to me at all - it's exactly what I do. First thought is 'ooh, that's nice', partly due to marketers being rather good at their jobs, and second thoughts are in more depth.  From younger than your son I remember talking through with my parents, especially 'how much will you really use this?' - and if it was acquired being expected to reflect later on whether my answer had been correct and why or why not!  It's a question I ask myself a lot still.

enthusiasticsaver

Some really positive stuff coming out from your posts recently.  Being more  careful with your spending, being thankful for what you have and stopping with the putting yourself down.  Probably down to you getting clean but I also think your mindset is changing too.  

Not holding my breath for any massive change in restrictions in 2 weeks sadly.  

I used to have heated seats on my little renault coupe convertible I had a few years ago prior to grandchildren.  Only thing I really miss about it though. Had it for 5 years and had some fun in it though.   Massage function sounds interesting and TV in your car really luxurious.  

alt80

@theoretica I can be a bit like that with son - usually ask him if he wants to have the cheap toy/ sweets/ whatever now or ‘bank’ the money for something bigger come birthday time ha. Liked someone’s suggestion on here of giving him a budget on days out as a family actually lol. 100 I want him to work for what he has and know money doesn’t grow on trees. Wife is the opposite though, she wants him to but can’t say no in the moment.

100 don’t want him still here when he’s my age haha.

@enthusiasticsaver thanks, really trying to throw myself into the counselling/ recovery. Realise I have an addictive/ obsessive mindset. Fight with it everyday tbt not just the obvious but other stuff even things like having to force myself to shut my work computer down and not obsessively check emails. Allowed that side of me to rule my life, not done me any good and not good for family either. 

Don’t think anyone knows re lockdown. I’m genuinely dreading things opening up - mates who like the self destructive stuff expecting to meet up etc been so long they will want to go out/ go on drives etc. Had fleeting thoughts of wishing I wasn’t tied to the area with business and could maybe just start a new life over the other side of the country or something no more temptation etc. Realistically it is what it is running away from my issues not going to help anything so I just need to face I need to live with the life and past I have. Keep moving forwards with the sustainable growth and keeping the self destructive behaviours in check. Easier said than done ha.

Don’t tell me I’ve persuaded you into a Range Rover haha. Tbh the spec of my RR is unreal even got a web browser and refrigerated cubby and still good for 0-60 in 5. Genuinely think anyone who buys one 100 will never want anything else, had RRs for years and years, never wanted another day to day car since first one but possibly is just my weird fetish ha.

RelievedSheff

alt80 said:

@theoretica I can be a bit like that with son - usually ask him if he wants to have the cheap toy/ sweets/ whatever now or ‘bank’ the money for something bigger come birthday time ha. Liked someone’s suggestion on here of giving him a budget on days out as a family actually lol. 100 I want him to work for what he has and know money doesn’t grow on trees. Wife is the opposite though, she wants him to but can’t say no in the moment.

100 don’t want him still here when he’s my age haha.

@enthusiasticsaver thanks, really trying to throw myself into the counselling/ recovery. Realise I have an addictive/ obsessive mindset. Fight with it everyday tbt not just the obvious but other stuff even things like having to force myself to shut my work computer down and not obsessively check emails. Allowed that side of me to rule my life, not done me any good and not good for family either. 

Don’t think anyone knows re lockdown. I’m genuinely dreading things opening up - mates who like the self destructive stuff expecting to meet up etc been so long they will want to go out/ go on drives etc. Had fleeting thoughts of wishing I wasn’t tied to the area with business and could maybe just start a new life over the other side of the country or something no more temptation etc. Realistically it is what it is running away from my issues not going to help anything so I just need to face I need to live with the life and past I have. Keep moving forwards with the sustainable growth and keeping the self destructive behaviours in check. Easier said than done ha.

Don’t tell me I’ve persuaded you into a Range Rover haha. Tbh the spec of my RR is unreal even got a web browser and refrigerated cubby and still good for 0-60 in 5. Genuinely think anyone who buys one 100 will never want anything else, had RRs for years and years, never wanted another day to day car since first one but possibly is just my weird fetish ha.

Wanting a Range Rover is definitely just your weird fetish  

I wouldn't get too hung up on lock down ending just yet. There will be no major changes in the next couple of weeks. I personally can't see any major changes in the next month or more. There are still very high numbers of patients in hospital with covid and very high numbers of people dying from Covid. While the number of people testing positive has dropped that takes some time to filter through to the hospital system. Lock down is here for longer yet and will be extended.

When lock down does finally end you can just make your excuses as to why you can't meet up with the destructive "friends". Wanting to spend more time with your family is the best excuse you can possibly have. Family days out are far more important than nights out with so called friends.

alt80

Can’t live without one mate. Its worth every penny to me lol.

Possibly need to stop looking at the news went to bed fairly reasonable time but woke a couple of times massively anxious about life going back to normal, weird dreams about failing essentially. I’m still not right thinking about it far too much fleeting moments of thinking I had no problem in the first place can enjoy it socially. Yeah spoken to the professionals about that, know social use not a good idea for me and don’t want to go through the whole cycle of BS again. Def want to stay with the family time post lockdown. JV mate still trying to invite himself over called me this morning apparently never touching it again ha yeah until the weekend probably idk just getting along ok right now Boris can leave the world closed half sad that’s what I need and people are ill and dying, half relieved corona is still here to keep me away. 😆

RelievedSheff

You need to keep JV "mate" at arms length. Keep making excuses why you can't see him. Eventually the message will get through to him that you don't want to be around him.