First Steps to Solvency

getmore4less

alt80 said:

Not sure it’s so much as he’s a piece of work tbf rather than he has some very strong political views that oppose mine and likes people to be of his way of thinking - bit of a control freak haha. He’s really quite different with the other in-laws but doesn’t like me, never has. Have I played up to it over the years, sure.

Actually wondering if the prepaid card thing might work for both of us as I said I tend to be ok until the weekend rolls around lol. That or some kind of spends account with the when it’s gone it’s gone philosophy. 

Our ‘October’ starts tomorrow so tonight is going to be a chance to have a look through this month and discuss a realistic forecast for the coming.

Dragging up old stuff is rarely constructive other than a reflection if it can be done without blame to identify the areas that need work, but they are fairly obvious anyway.

What is important is to have an shared plan going forward that is agreed in advance and the responsibility to stick to it lands on both of you.

Don't lose sight that you want to also drop the dependency on the BTL to support the spending.

If the plan can have that BTL money set aside to sort out the debt  with your day to day fulfilled by the main business income  you will be able to see a path to BTL business growing again through reinvesting the profits.

purplehippo276

If I was you I’d definitely go down the route of both of you going for the pre-paid Mastercards.  Then you’d both be in it together, rather than your wife potentially looking at the her pre-paid card as a punishment. Just my thoughts. 

Naomim

mamamu said:

alt80 said:

Looks like I'm going to be working until bedtime today so much for the earlier finishes. Decided I'm going to make an effort to spend an hour with family and just come back to it though.

She has one card - the others have been put somewhere safe. Don't really know what the answer is tbf very easy for her to have the 'its not my problem' attitude. Ultimately not her credit file that'll get decimated and tbf if I cut all my spending it shouldn't make enough of a difference to matter suppose it would just be nice to have a bit more support. It'll definitely be the last thing but if I have to downgrade my car that's what I'll have to do, not going to lose my home over it and that buys a lot of her stuff every month. 

A few of my tenants are going through the whole furlough/ redundancy issues right now, awful for them not great for me either but we'll all muddle through. Wife doesn't really understand if they don't pay (long term), I can't pay (not hidden the fact its mortgaged, she just can't see the banks will want their money no matter what happens with the wider economy - same goes for my personal issues too I'm sure she thinks the banks don't really care if I pay or not haha I wish).

Just get her monzo card transfer some money to it and say to her this is amount you can spend when it is spent it is spent. Wait until next payday. 

Simple  

This was my initial thought too. 

ryanm8655

RelievedSheff said:

Her father sounds like a nasty piece of work. No wonder she is the way she is!!

I do think that the prepaid card with a monthly budget is the way forward for her otherwise you are never going to rein in the spending. Take her other cards from her and just give her the prepaid one. When the money is gone it is gone. She will soon learn how to budget her own money or go out and earn her own to top it up.

Agreed. He sounds bitter. So it's fine for his daughter to do nothing and spend thousands on bags just to ruin you and take from the future of your son. He needs to grow up and so does she.

You're doing amazingly well OP, how you keep so calm I don't know. I guess a part of the wife's behaviour is probably just an immature reaction to not getting her own way and having to make some sacrifices, especially if she's had years of having whatever she wants and whenever she wants it. It would be a tough adjustment to make in fairness, no matter how entitled and spoilt bratty it comes across. Hopefully she comes round gradually, if she doesn't then you can up the ante with an allowance that means she has to cut back. Just keep an eye on things.

You've got a lot on your plate and you are handling it admirably.

alt80

@getmore4less I'd definitely like the idea of getting to the point of BTL money spare/ not needed but can't see a way of making that happen right now or even soon in the future. Probably only going to be able to grow the portfolio through taking some more big risks whole lot has required personal guarantees so if things ever went properly wrong I doubt I'd ever recover from it tbh getting to a low enough LTV to not require the guarantee even with the uplift in interest would ease some of the stress. Also have a mortgage on some commercial property through the other business and development finance on a longer term project.

Finding the whole lot is causing me a lot of stress right now tbf not sure I'm even looking at it with a straight mind just seeing five figures on cards, six figures on cars and seven figures on property in total. Truly think the numbers involved in my business life have desensitised me to the personal issues - the whole credit card issue didn't even register until it was hitting nearly six figures first time around. This time the panic set in a lot earlier. Never been bothered about being heavily leveraged before but facing up to the issues on the personal side and the current economic uncertainty / issues with getting tenants out if need be atm has made me think about how badly it could go wrong. I know it will be fine tbf just need to get through a couple of tough years think everyone goes through questioning their choices in life every once in a while though would have a lot less stress had I settled for the new build 3 bed semi and a 320 on my drive lol. Wouldn't have ever been satisfied with that and my chances with an Arab prince are even less than the mrs' so this is where I am.

@purplehippo276 / @Naomim discussed with mrs over lunch the need for us to both be careful on the personal spends and potential to have a different account / card for that. All she could say is 'you're actually serious about this aren't you?' haha. Got her to list her committed spends for October doesn't make for the best reading but going to see if I think we can make it work without her cutting the stuff she wants.

@ryanm8655 thanks mate. I don't think he's got a clue how much my wife spends on beauty / bags etc tbf I think he'd probably have a heart attack if he did - tightest man on the planet and mil is as dowdy as they come lol. 

We are going to trial the allowance for both of us this coming month. Mrs isn't pleased about me 'checking on her' hopefully she'll realise I'm not really bothered what she spends on just we need to reign it in.

alt80

Thought I would just add as I don’t think many on here are property people (from the diaries I’ve read) but practically everyone i know in property is leveraged - it’s not a big deal but can see how it might seem to be to non property people. Big numbers etc

alt80

October
Committed expenditure:
Housing / utilities / insurances etc	£  1,973.00
Cars	£  1,840.00
School	£  1,100.00
Credit cards	£     985.00
Subtotal	£  5,898.00
Variables:
Wife beauty treatments	£     215.00
Petrol	£     300.00
Groceries	£     650.00
Entertainment etc.	£     250.00
Subtotal	£  1,415.00
Total	£  7,313.00

Comments welcome but I think the above is doable and it if really does happen money is coming off the cards. Housing includes phones / all insurances apart from cars etc etc. Petrol is just personal spends petrol not business so might not be that high if there's another lockdown / we find something else to do with our time and no more f-type 🙁. If I can get to the stage of the cards being paid off (pleased to say the balances are all 0% now) and we can stick to this, maybe get the groceries down so we can have a holiday I'm not too far off not relying on the BTLs. 

September wasn't too bad told mrs the money from sales is to go on the cards so no new debt this month. If she doesn't want to sell anymore fine. I had initially considered keeping it back as an emergency fund but decided it's not helpful right now.

The real issue comes when it's not a lean month like this and there's things to buy. Can't live like this forever lol.

strawb_shortcake

Fuel seems high but then my car is quite economical so might be right for your cars. 
Groceries my family of 5 would eat like kings on that budget and we could add a few bottles of Champagne in too. 
Have you done a store/freezer "stock take" see how many meals you've got before you shop. 
I recall you saying your wife is a good cook, batch cooking might help especially with the ingredients where she only uses once and bins. 
What does the entertainment cover?

shoppingobsessed2020

As a self confessed shopaholic and beauty addict I’m sure your wife could cut those treatments down this month.  I’ve committed £10 a month to box dye for my hair (luckily I hate the hairdressers) and £70 every 6 weeks for my nails to be done and £40 every 10 weeks for my brows to be done.  Facials I’m doing at home twice a week as a proper pamper session as I have all the products and I’m really enjoying it.  Hair removal if she’s booked for waxing could she look to waxing st home?  It’d pretty straightforward and easy especially if she’s like me and used to go regularly (I had a 3 week standing appointment before I booked laser hair removal) I am itching to get my Botox done but I’ve postponed that till November so it’s going to be 4 months rather than every 3 (luckily I like a bit of movement and it’s more preventative than anything else).  

I can sympathise with your wife as I was/am that spoiled wife myself, I thought nothing of browsing online and buying the newest products just because I could but it’s always on my credit card and I’d never pay more to pay than the minimum payment and then bam here I am as my husband didn’t bother to keep an eye on the finances either.

I will say though that my relationship with my parents always triggers my spending, especially when my mum is trying to convince me to buy a new handbag because I said I liked it, I used to then go spend big on skincare and make up to show her that I could spend the money I just didn’t want to spend it on a bag as I love my handbag.  Could she be rebelling in her own way with her parents and upbringing?

ohdearhowdidthathappen

Have you worked out your debt free date if you continue at your current rate of repayments of £950pm?
If you won't budge on the cars or private schooling (which are the obvious big wins), then the beauty treatments, entertainment and food are all easy targets.
We're a family of 7 and these are our budgets for those categories.... 
- schooling - £100pm for supplies and trips, uniform comes under clothing budget
- cars - £450 for 2 cars; 1 on PCP and 1 lease.  £450 irritates me hugely, such a waste of money
- beauty treatments = £0. I highlight my hair every 10 weeks at £70 a time, no other appointments.  She can do everything else at home for virtually free.  
- entertainment - £100pm.  National Trust is £10pm, Cinema trip is £40, takeaway £35.  Otherwise we do free stuff - trip to seaside, parks, visit friends or have them to us (obviously not at mo) etc.  Occasionally we spend more for special dates ie birthdays, but save in advance where we can
- food - we spend £650pm and eat very well.  That includes all alcohol and toiletries too.
Definitely room to trim if you want to