First Steps to Solvency

enthusiasticsaver

Sounds like you made a real effort for his birthday and your wife and him will remember that. Well done for getting the Christmas bits within budget and not on credit. I agree that shop birthday cakes are usually awful and a home made VS a much better idea. I cannot stand the sweet icing of shop bought cakes so would rather make them.

alt80

@PassElephant there are ones that cost thousands haha.

No I haven’t, apart from giving a bit of advice on the property board, I’ve not even looked at any of the other boards really. Probably not going to become an old style money saver though lol.

I’m glad he had a good birthday too. The guilt of not having been able to provide the usual amount of presents hasn’t helped me over this past month - all building towards this and not going to lie I didn’t want to go downstairs this morning to see about 1/2 the amount he usually has.

I’ve took my family for granted and today I’d do anything to turn the clock back and make different choices.

alt80

@enthusiasticsaver thanks. 

It’s the icing we can’t stand either haha. MIL usually bakes a birthday cake for him too so we’re usually eating it for about a week. Slice of cake for today, tomorrow and day after and it’ll be gone - don’t really enjoy it for weeks on end. FaceTimed both sets of grandparents, he got a nice gift from each as well. 

PassElephant

alt80 said:

@PassElephant there are ones that cost thousands haha.

No I haven’t, apart from giving a bit of advice on the property board, I’ve not even looked at any of the other boards really. Probably not going to become an old style money saver though lol.

I’m glad he had a good birthday too. The guilt of not having been able to provide the usual amount of presents hasn’t helped me over this past month - all building towards this and not going to lie I didn’t want to go downstairs this morning to see about 1/2 the amount he usually has.

I’ve took my family for granted and today I’d do anything to turn the clock back and make different choices.

Hey. You already stopped the clock 
The Old Style boards are good for centring yourself on what matters.
You are doing so well. Be happy with yourself 

alt80

@PassElephant thanks I’ll take a look. 

Happy with myself would be admitting I’m a decent person I know I’m not really and no amount of money will change that. They both deserve a lot more than a waster like me who’s tried to pretend I’m not because I earn well - that’s all I can say that’s positive, I’ve managed to get into a position where I earn an ok amount of money all of which is spent haha FML.

PassElephant

Ah. Look at you trying and succeeding to provide for your family and provide work in your company.
Don't beat yourself up by thinking that isn't enough, when it is huge.
The day you can walk into JL and realise that none of their products will make you happier is the day you will realise how extremely good you are.

strawb_shortcake

Glad you had a great day, I think we have a flaw and we really need to see ourselves through someone else's eyes, I'm sure you are far better than you think. 
Out of curiosity, what perfume is it your wife likes? I've been thinking about indulging in a luxury perfume

riotlady

Sounds like a lovely day, I’m pleased for you  

ryanm8655

alt80 said:

Birthday seemed to have got the boy’s approval - best birthday ever apparently... well he doesn’t know he’s getting some of his birthday presents for Christmas ha. First one I’ve made any effort for tbh. Wife made Victoria sponge cake - made the mistake of buying one of those kids birthday cakes once, it was revolting so wife bakes a cake.

Christmas advent calendars... not again lol.

Think I’ve sorted the Xmas advent calendars. Not doing the usual £700ish spend on beauty, whisky and something else for son. Spent a bit of time browsing JL (yeah don’t shoot me yet lol) after seeing a £60 Whittard hot chocolate calendar but leaving it as we don’t want that everyday. So I’ve bought a chocolate advent calendar for son (£8), Christmas hot chocolate selection (£12), Hotel Chocolat Christmas crackers (£17), 3x bottles of wine (groceries budget), 1x bottle of champagne (already bought). Wife and I can have a little Christmas indulgence every evening after son has gone to bed rather than usual calendar. £37 spent (rest either already got or usual groceries budget) and looks like I’ve got 9 evenings making hot chocolate lol. OK not as special as the usual £700ish ones but not going to be put on a credit card to be paid for another day. Usually get a big £250/300 F&M hamper too - lots gets thrown in the bin every year usually so just bought a £60 Christmas one we can pick our own wine etc. Don’t even feel embarrassed about it tbh yeah reasons for doing it are shameful but moving on from the £1-1.1k advent / hamper I don’t think is the end of either of our worlds.

I am thinking about buying my wife a bottle of her favourite fragrance for Christmas - £220. Alternatively could get a smaller bottle of the summer version, she’s not tried it before so doesn’t feel too shameful getting the 30ml bottle haha - £115.

Bit of a wake up call today tbh I’ve had a great day, wife’s approval for not working through it. Last year I didn’t even have dinner with him, watched him open the presents in the morning and spent the day/ evening at the office. Massive regrets for it taking this to start making an effort tbh. Not having 10.30pm coffee tonight so hopefully will get some sleep.

Going to try to start making the goals again, try to work towards something positive. October was mainly taken by not being able to function very well struggled to get through the month for many reasons going to try to make this a better month overall. Did manage to clear a large amount of the debt but my mindset over October would likely lead me to further card debt had it actually been clear. I need to try to get a grip on the anger levels and try not to let this make me think I’ve failed in life - there is more to life than money.

What’s the fragrance? Can probably help you source it considerably cheaper through legitimate means (ordering from France tends to save about 30% if you know where to look and they deliver to the UK at no extra cost). May also have some other sources depending on what it is...

Glad your son had a great day!

getmore4less

Great progress and a good day all round. 

One of the benefits of being the boss you can take the days off to be with family when it matters. 


One thing you need to consider is the adversion to anything seen as money saving as if you should not need to do it because...... 

It is not always about saving money(although for now that would help) it more about getting better value for money to free up resources for better value stuff.

It is a very common problem with high earners, they hemorrhage money just because they can.
Sometimes it takes a bit of debt or a urgent need to preserve cash that provides the wakeup call. 

Often you see, high price phone contracts unused, every TV package going but hardly watch any TV, massive food bill but eat out a lot, etc. 

Some are obvious areas that can free up resources, like food waste, can choose spend less or spend the same on more good stuff. 

You nailed it on the advent, the value is the shared process not so much the content. 

A bit of reading various places on here may trigger ideas for better use of your resources. 

Also don't dismiss options just because they have an "eco" tag. 

There is good synergy with property and making them cheaper to run and more comfortable to live in.