First Steps to Solvency

ryanm8655

annabanana82 said:

ryanm8655 said:

annabanana82 said:

Sorry I'm just butting in again. I first heard of Creed Aventus about 6 years ago, my colleague bought her partner a bottle for his birthday. She didn't stop talking about it for days. Curiosity got the better of me and I popped in to JL on the way home to have a sniff. Couldn't find it so asked, was informed that it must have been stolen again - never ever had I considered that people may steal the tester bottles. 
But I did notice when I was in JL at the weekend that they all have security tags on now 

Haha! Reminded me of another story... In my earlier days when debt was bad but I was on a lot less money too, I used to pop to JL on oxford street before a date and spritz myself in Aventus I forgot about those days...

But yeah, everywhere I go the testers of Aventus are empty and you have to ask if you want to try it for exactly that reason. Kids will steal them.

When I was bad at budgeting or just plain skint, if I'd ran out out of some make up (usually before the Christmas party) I'd go into a department store and get the 7 day tester pots to see me through the party season and to pay day. 
Its funny how some things take you back, I don't like it when I get a £5 note out the cash machine as it takes me back to being a student and withdrawing your last £5 as you only had £6.37 in the bank.
Also just realised that I have a few foibles about the things I do because of how people may perceive me...

Sounds an excellent plan to me, ha!

alt80

@ryanm8655 Agree re. Aventus. Generally I wear it day to day but can definitely be dressed up or down. Not long bought a bottle but will definitely take up the £185 deal at some point. I don't tend to buy fragrance half use it then buy another. Tend to buy it and use it until gone. Don't stockpile it really so nothing I particularly want to sell I don't think but will have a look through now you mention it.

Bois du Portugal used to be my go to fragrance mainly because my wife loves it on me ha. I've not found a Creed fragrance I don't like tbh but not tried them all - didn't realise it was considered niche tbh. Wife likes some Penhaligons - I'd say they're a lot more niche than Creed or Tom Ford but am no expert.

It's definitely an expensive habit if you're buying regularly - always been a Christmas / birthday treat to go to London on a shopping trip including buying a few fragrances. Not going to happen anytime soon with lockdown / financial situation. My wife would love your suggestion of Paris not going to lie I would too - stop f**king tempting me ha.

Meant to add re Tom Ford - if you've not tried it I really like Neroli Portofino Forte; fresher scent than a lot of the TFPBs. 

@annabanana82 Hadn't thought you were joining Ryan and I in the reprobates club lol.

haha that brings some memories of my student days back. Always used to head into town and spray whatever was the most expensive fragrance before a night out FML. Didn't matter one f**king bit what it actually smelt like lol. This was Nottingham though so nothing really niche to be found and probably why I don't associate Creed with particularly niche ha. 

strawb_shortcake

I can be a dark horse alt
I am now really quite thrifty, too much really and it I'll be honest it annoys me. 
But I do like some nice things, perfumes one of them. I taught my daughter to pick out Prada perfumes for me for Christmas when she was small. I was actually planning on going to Bicester village to treat myself to some Penhaligon but that plan is scuppered.
Lego is another thing that I can justify spending out on, though it's never for me.
And shoes, luckily for my bank account I'm too fat and clumsy for the v expensive dainty pretty shoes so my go to brand is Irregular Choice though always in the sales if I'm paying. 

As a couple my Husband and I have spent quite some time in debt over the years, but I don't have an easy relationship with money. I'm a civil servant so I'll never earn anywhere near your level of income, and I am happy with that,  but it can feel like a constant battle at times with wanting better things but too tight to pay for them. 
I've said before yours is the only diary I've followed, but it's really opened my mind to the whole relationship with finances, as well as what we do because of what others may think, and it was something I'd never really considered.

My snobbiest moment, was buying something in Primark and consciously paying with cash so there would be no evidence on my bank account!! I was only in there as I'd told my daughter if she can't look after her clothes and put them away properly then she'd have clothes from Primark. 

warby68

I have NEVER been in a Primark 
I found quite early on that my tastes were a bit above my budget. Have managed it for years by not actually going in the shops very often. Its not just expensive stuff, browsing in the shops always makes me dissatisfied with what I have and want to change it, be it clothing or home stuff.  Simply not going looking did the trick. I've got better at identifying a need first and then looking (mainly online) rather than going shopping to generate needs that I never would have thought of !
I am quite cautious and very much value security so have always kept spending under control and have never been in debt but even from that 'saintly' perspective I can't say the urge to splurge has ever really gone away.
My main strategy is to maximise my spending capacity so rarely shop without a deal or a discount code or something to make it a bit better value. The discounts mean the slightly better brands are within reach.
Ha ha on spraying the samples before a night out. Tuesday night was club night in my early 20's - we used to rush out of the office at 5pm and get a good spray at the posh chemist nearby. You could even get your full make up done on some counters back then although you looked a bit odd with full evening war paint if you had it done at lunchtime and went back to the office for the afternoon.
I've said it before - very few 100% saints or sinners
PS I think fragrance is a relatively affordable luxury - a taste of the good life for not too ridiculous an amount.

woahsoah

warby68 said:

I have NEVER been in a Primark 
I found quite early on that my tastes were a bit above my budget. 

I've never been into 'fashion'. The important thing I discovered in my early 30s was that if you go to the gym/diet and look good naked it doesn't matter what clothes you wear - you will always look good. Couple this with wearing a 20k+ gbp watch no one is going to ever suggest that you are cheap despite me always wearing asos clothes. I get far far more attention now than I used to wearing expensive clothes.

RelievedSheff

alt80 said:

Busy work day today, no time to think about spending. Did stop work at dinner time, ate and spent time with family. Finding I'm really enjoying this time we have together, wouldn't have come about if I was still spending so in a really strange way tonight I'm somewhat thankful at least something positive has come out of this mess. Cold dog walk this evening and spent some time playing with my son - he put toys away again, I told him it's important he helps mummy out with this too hopefully he will next time. Looking forward to the upcoming project too, spent some time talking to wife about it this evening, we never usually talk about property but she had some good ideas for layout and kitchen design.

Two items sold today £550 - will be coming off the M&S. Total debt will stand at £30200. No idea how much that annoys me - so close to £30k but no point to paying extra £200 to just offset by dipping into current account o/draft. Have a bit of a thing about rounding figures if you hadn't guessed - strange I know haha.

Glad you are finding more family time and enjoying it. Your wife and son must be really enjoying the extra time spent with you as well. It is good for you all. Excellent that the wife is taking an interest in your project as well. You never know this could be the start of a great property renovation team the two of you together.

I'm the same with the small totals. As you say no point dipping into the over draft just to pay off an extra £200 on the credit cards.

ladyholly

So glad you are involving your wife a little more and that she is taking an interest. The time you are spending with your son is so precious and you will always remember it. He wont be young for long,  pleased for you.

alt80

Not the best start to the day - terrible nights sleep and tripped over on stairs this morning rushing about now have sprained my ankle or something. Won’t be going anywhere for a few days at least I don’t think. So no chance of spending on last day of freedom lol.

@annabanana82/ @warby68 haha the reality is coming out now lol thought you were both saints! 

@woahsoah I know what you mean - when I was younger I had comparatively few clothes, didn’t really have the means / credit lines to buy everything top quality so I invested in a few things I wouldn’t compromise on and the rest fairly cheap. Tbf I still buy some things this way now. Wouldn’t say I’m into fashion personally either I like to buy quality that doesn’t go out of style quickly. Good shoes, good jacket and always had a decent watch though not to your level, that’s the dream lol. Ha mindset must be changing a bit no way I’d have admitted that!

@RelievedSheff/ @ladyholly thanks. I’m really enjoying family time not just thinking about buying stuff 24/7- that’s no way to live really when it causes the stresses it does for me. I still get a bit of a high from it but all too often it turns into regret and more buying. Not helping myself and twisting my view of life and family. Not where I want to be now.

Ha someone else with the round figures ocd lol- got to know when enough is enough. Going into overdraft to pay off card not worth it definitely! 

alt80

Had counselling session today. Really think chasing highs over the years hasn’t helped me, I need to maintain a bit more stability / less stress / anger / looking for highs all the time. Also sorting the sleep out / more of a routine and less chaotic. I’ve been doing a course on headspace app over the past few days and really trying to work at not letting anger get the better of me, living in the moment a bit more trying not to be so preoccupied with ‘making it’. Suppose I’ve always thought I was above the family time - massive regret but need to let the past go.

The amount of credit I’ve signed up to over the years - done me no favours. I’ve worked out I could have been in a position to own my cars outright had I not got myself into the card debt over the years. The cars aren’t going to stop being something I want in my life and have in all likelihood but I didn’t need three brand new cars on pcp deals. Had I been 100% honest with myself I would have known it was going to end how it did. I can’t really believe I’ve spent so many years trying to pretend I didn’t even need to consider my personal finances - 100% did that because I couldn’t face what I knew was inevitably true tbh today I think that was a bigger failure than today having to admit I can’t have everything I want. Equated can’t afford as being a personal slight for too long. I still need to believe I earn well and most measures I do but I’m starting to see that does = spend it all and more to make up for other stuff. Can’t buy family well some can but they’re 100 richer men than me haha.

DayDreamerandGeneralWaster

Ahh regret is a terrible thing. Learn the lesson and put it behind you.