First Steps to Solvency

RelievedSheff

Happy birthday to your son. Hope you all manage to have a lovely day.

warby68

A very Happy Birthday to alt80 Junior
Who normally does the school run? Children like it when the other one does it, especially as a surprise. Just a thought, probably a bit late

ladyholly

Happy birthday to your son. Have a lovely day. 

enthusiasticsaver

I don't think your son will judge you at all on whatever parameter other than maybe if you don't make time to spend with him.  The only exception is if he thinks that is normal.  If you are constantly making comments about  how much someone's house or car costs he will think that everyone thinks that way and the majority of us don't or at least not the people I know.  As they get older their wishlists do tend to get more expensive as they get into technology etc more but it is no bad thing to say that something is not affordable and not get them everything they want immediately.  Resolve to help him grow up to be happier than you who is constantly seeking the next big or expensive item. I hope he has a lovely birthday. 

efes_shareholder

as a parent of 3 reasonably well adjusted now twenty something , i can honestly say my kids do not bring up memories of the cars we drove , the size of our TV , what stores their clothes came from or what they got for xmas when they were 6 - they do however remember the family days out and the holidays spending time together. 

efes_shareholder

P.S Happy Birthday Junior 

alt80

Thanks all.

@warby68 we are both picking up... birthday walk and hot chocolate whilst we can thought I’d lost my car keys in middle of nowhere, left in vendors kitchen ha. Wife would have gone mad had I actually lost the keys and couldn’t pick son up lol.

@enthusiasticsaver yeah I’ve become a bit more aware about some of the comments I make tbf, he’d be better not growing up with my attitude tbh bit concerned he won’t have the drive to put the work in if he’s not bothered about lifestyle. Probably better than never enough though.

ZaSa1418

I totally agree that kids much prefer presence over presents.  

alt80

Birthday seemed to have got the boy’s approval - best birthday ever apparently... well he doesn’t know he’s getting some of his birthday presents for Christmas ha. First one I’ve made any effort for tbh. Wife made Victoria sponge cake - made the mistake of buying one of those kids birthday cakes once, it was revolting so wife bakes a cake.

Christmas advent calendars... not again lol.

Think I’ve sorted the Xmas advent calendars. Not doing the usual £700ish spend on beauty, whisky and something else for son. Spent a bit of time browsing JL (yeah don’t shoot me yet lol) after seeing a £60 Whittard hot chocolate calendar but leaving it as we don’t want that everyday. So I’ve bought a chocolate advent calendar for son (£8), Christmas hot chocolate selection (£12), Hotel Chocolat Christmas crackers (£17), 3x bottles of wine (groceries budget), 1x bottle of champagne (already bought). Wife and I can have a little Christmas indulgence every evening after son has gone to bed rather than usual calendar. £37 spent (rest either already got or usual groceries budget) and looks like I’ve got 9 evenings making hot chocolate lol. OK not as special as the usual £700ish ones but not going to be put on a credit card to be paid for another day. Usually get a big £250/300 F&M hamper too - lots gets thrown in the bin every year usually so just bought a £60 Christmas one we can pick our own wine etc. Don’t even feel embarrassed about it tbh yeah reasons for doing it are shameful but moving on from the £1-1.1k advent / hamper I don’t think is the end of either of our worlds.

I am thinking about buying my wife a bottle of her favourite fragrance for Christmas - £220. Alternatively could get a smaller bottle of the summer version, she’s not tried it before so doesn’t feel too shameful getting the 30ml bottle haha - £115.

Bit of a wake up call today tbh I’ve had a great day, wife’s approval for not working through it. Last year I didn’t even have dinner with him, watched him open the presents in the morning and spent the day/ evening at the office. Massive regrets for it taking this to start making an effort tbh. Not having 10.30pm coffee tonight so hopefully will get some sleep.

Going to try to start making the goals again, try to work towards something positive. October was mainly taken by not being able to function very well struggled to get through the month for many reasons going to try to make this a better month overall. Did manage to clear a large amount of the debt but my mindset over October would likely lead me to further card debt had it actually been clear. I need to try to get a grip on the anger levels and try not to let this make me think I’ve failed in life - there is more to life than money.

PassElephant

I haven't even heard of advent calendars that cost £20 let alone hundreds. 
Have you looked at the Old Style Money Savers?
So glad your son had a lovely Birthday and a home made Victoria Sponge.  You are right, home made food is so often better than anything you can buy. And that applies to most things.
 You are beginning to have the joy of knowing you can't buy love. It is such liberating knowledge. Love is free.