First Steps to Solvency

enthusiasticsaver

I am glad you told your friend you aren't going for the XJS and maybe it has made you see that your friend has obviously prioritised his cars over his house and bought them outright rather than getting sucked into these PCP deals. You could do that. Focus on clearing the credit card debt then saving for RR balloon and then you would have masses of spare income to either build your car collection by saving for them and buying outright or upgrading your house whichever you wanted.

The electric car for your wife and HMRC money sounds interesting but will this impact on your business? It seems to me if you want your toys and the bigger house you have to grow your business. I don't know enough about buying cars within a business to advise whether this is sensible or not. Is your wife really bothered that much what she drives? I think getting away from the finance deals to buy these cars is the first step so getting something cheaper than the BMW for a few years by either saving for it or buying a much older car to last a year or two until the cards are gone and you have a plan to save the balloon might be worth considering. I am not against finance deals per se to buy something like a car tbh but where you went wrong is to get three on finance and up to 100% of the cost with no deposit. You know that now. When we have borrowed for a car which we did for mine occasionally (my husband always drove a company car until he retired) we used to set a limit of borrowing no more than 50%. That way the finance is always less than the asset so should the worst happen and we could not afford the repayments the asset would clear the loan if sold. Never more than 3 years on a low rate unsecured loan. The added advantage of this over a PCP is you can sell and buy another car whenever you want rather than be told when you can hand it back by the car finance company. You also always have part of the deposit by using the old car as p/e which is what pcp never gives you. 

DayDreamerandGeneralWaster

Real  friends appreciate honesty.  Facing reality is a good thing, even if it's not what you want. No point in walking around with your head in the clouds. 
I relate to that - my mum was by herself, she used to call the electric on a Sunday when no one was there to tell them the cheque was on the way 😂 every week she got away with it. I remember when we got carpet after step dad arrived on  the scene, so much better than floorboards but wow did it give a good electric shock 😂😳 it as black and brown 😬

vixx_123

That's a good point on the car finance re 50% deposit to at least remain in equity. I asked about downsizing our car (focus to fiesta) after a personal situation at start of the year but we would have been left -2k so couldn't. I've learnt my lesson re cars and am more financially educated for the future.

monetxchange

Really glad you were more honest with your friend. It actually sounds like he'd never even considered that wealthier people weren't just walking around with a pocket full of £50s. Maybe you're his unrealistic money goal, wanting to be like you in terms of what you've got, so in a way it's beneficial for everyone involved not to be thinking that money will always be available. Honestly can't see anything embarrassing about the conversation at all. I think it made him think. Like you said, he's got debt too in terms of a mortgage.

getmore4less

If I could put the hmrc mileage money away (£300/m average (thought this was about 500 but its not))

It is really important to have the numbers nailed, finger in the air back of the fag packet numbers just don't cut it long term.

Moving to the car through business I think that needs more thought and number crunching.

Is going Tesla still clinging to image as they have performance/status  but in some areas like where we live(further south) they are all over the place now. 

There are some seriously good other options out there as the mainstream manufacturers catch up but many won't have the right badge.

Not sure how many cars your business currently supports but there  may be a way out of your image issues if there is a suitable electric model that meets the criteria for all your people  you could make that the company fleet choice and you sell it to your mates as it saves the business £1000s.


Well done with the MG mate, seems a well balance guy in terms of priorities.

alt80

I don’t buy cars on pcp and then hand back to get a new one. I bought the previous RRS on pcp and paid the balloon (albeit refinanced it), kept for a good while after. Already lost a £25k car I owned outright for 10k miles in a fast Jag so don’t really need to be told the pcps can be a stupid idea. Looks like I’m losing a £10k car owned outright for the BMW too if it’s VT in February. Don’t really think it’s losing the previous asset if I actually pay off the pcp and own the car outright after tbh. Not had one car since I was early twenties. Looking at being 40 and having to share a car between my wife and I or being forced to drive (or her being forced to drive) a £5k car or whatever is a step too far for me right now perhaps it won’t be in a few months I don’t know. Yes before anyone says it I’ve got a fragile ego lol. 

Not going to lie I’ve thought about ending it. Not going to or even close really but have spoke to counsellor about it. I know he thinks it’s ridiculous - not like I can’t recover from this just based my whole life around having nice things, being someone I suppose and can’t bare to be told I can’t have stuff and am not someone anymore. Or the ‘someone’ that was the image in my head ha. 100 feels like a personal attack and 100 feels like I’ve failed in every possible way but just trying to keep it together and be at the point it’s paid down. All down to not earning enough to support my lifestyle just not being good enough to get there. Something I’ve learned is the income level doesn’t really matter- I know I have an income that should be able to support a good but sustainable lifestyle just don’t due to debt. Actually spent some time thinking about figures this morning - I’ve minimised it by telling myself it’s just cards and only £40k, well £30k now, discounted the cars and the money I owe to get the LTVs down all just felt too much to deal with and a pit I couldn’t dig out of tbh. Thanks for making me see I can get to the point of not constantly spending on cards for lifestyle and making me think hard about the cars even if at the moment I’m firmly in the ‘wish I’d done this instead of that’ mindset re cars. 

One of the best days I’ve had for a long time was day out with son. Keeps me going these past few days thinking we can do things like that more regularly (on Boris’ say so) move away from being a !!!!!! dad and from spending binges. Things aren’t amazing between my wife and I. Financial stuff and other things I’ve done that I’m not proud of, 100 me I know that lol. Can’t go on forever living as friends rather than a couple though so I think if it’s over after the next year; she literally has given that time frame to me saying if she can’t forgive me after a year it’s over, she’ll move out. I hope that’s not the case tbh and I know this probably sounds mad but I need to know I can at least see my son and keep my house if she goes so need to really work on getting the debts down as far as possible, work on the marriage but if she says she wants to part company I need to be in a better financial position to keep my house - fairly certain I’d lose it right now. Suppose looking for XJS’s took my mind off it and had the crazy thought of at least it’s an asset.

Cars through business do need more number crunching / speaking to accountant etc not sure where I am with that don’t want to cost the business money for my stupidity tbh - that’s the delay there. I know re needing to nail the numbers down never saw the HMRC mileage money as income as such so just gets spent more or less the minute it comes into my account on stupid stuff. Worked out the £500 was wrong when I checked the mileage over the two cars - I just download the trips once a month never look. At least it means the RR mileage isn’t going up by as much as I thought. Using BMW mainly for work right now - get the mileage up before it goes back I suppose and keep mileage off RR.

Mate with the MG isn’t really bothered about lifestyle stuff. He likes old cars and an easy life so my lifestyle isn’t any goal of his ha. Met his wife through them both having old MGs so cars don’t come between them and she’s intelligent, decent career and quite fit - he’s a very lucky man. Got it made lol.

stymied

Have you asked your wife what you could do to help with the forgiveness? You’ve acknowledged the overspending was a mistake, you’re getting counselling for it and you’ve made significant steps forward in your desire to be a better dad. You made the mistake recently with breaking your promise which may be harder for her to reconcile as may the lack of honesty / transparency over money in the past.

mark55man

keep going mate - even a roller coaster calms down eventually - you pushed off from the top and the ride is a tough one, but you will get there.  although the swings and arrows of cash flow might be daunting, if I understand correctly your wind up position would see you very well off indeed, even if you are not 20 any more.  I know you are not going to do that, but don't forget its true

getmore4less

Remember cars through business will need you to cut your salary/divi to make it even cost within the business.
You currently pay for them from net(~60%) of the gross coming out of the business also your mileage claims should go down as the company car rate is lower.

With a low/zero BIK the gross coming out to pay for the BMW should get something decent, maybe not enough for a  Model 3 performance.

There was a stonking deal on a Hyundai Ioniq last week. £6k over 2years(16k miles)

lostmyusername

Alt, I see a lot of myself in you. I also like the finer things in life. I’m materialistic and I always want top of the range. I had a sizeable but fragile ego. I find it incredibly easy to spend and hard to save. I’m a very recently a higher earner, although not to the same scale as you - shy of £4k net per month, although my partner also earns, so our combined take home is close to £6k per month. I’m 26 and deep down fully expect to be able to buy a large, nice house in the future, although I have no idea how the numbers will add up. I also tend to lash out when told I’m wrong. I’m just lucky that the things I lust after are usually in the few hundred quid region rather than a hundred grand. So believe me when I say that I really do know where you’re coming from. 

However, I know - and I think you know - that this really isn’t a good life to live. It’s hard to not always have the best but I’ve decided that for me, the cost is far too high. I’d rather sleep soundly at night and not feel guilty about the money I’ve spent for things I get bored of. I think you’re getting there too. It is a long, hard slog and difficult for people like us, who like instant gratification. But you’re already so far along, you might as carry on committing  to it and have that good night’s sleep. I think it’ll be worth it!