First Steps to Solvency

RelievedSheff

Don't beat yourself up so much. You have made a few mistakes, who hasn't, but you have realised that and have started to put things right. It will take time but you will get there both with your personal finances and with your wife and son.

Andyjflet

In my mind, the less clutter the better, even in financial terms, like my house, desk, car etc I cant stand having stuff around, therefore when I started on the Baby Steps I snowballed and got rid of a few smaller balances, leaving me just two now and then the house. 

Busy_Mee

Love the sound of the new project, I hope you will give us regular updates.

 I love property projects. We have moved up the property ladder by renovating houses and adding value. The last one we knocked down a really nasty dormer bungalow on a great plot, with a lovely view. That gave us our very scary financial period in our life. The build got bigger, there were issues along the way and we went for a top end finish. Lots of stone/oak/glass. The result was the bank refused to lend us anymore, we took out a loan, 0% credit cards and borrowed the kids savings. Thankfully we knuckled down and got it all paid off. 

We are now mortgage neutral. We keep the mortgage running cos it is a great product. Lifetime Tracker 0.69 above base, so the mortgage funds are all invested in safe investments paying more. I like the flexibility of being able to get our hands on funds, should the right downsize project pop up.

I don't care about cars but OH does. We have tended to have a new larger prestige car on finance and then a paid for car as a runabout. I dread to think how much we have spent on cars over the years but it makes him happy. 

I like JL too. We don't all knit our own sandals round here  .

One of the things I have found has helped us on our financial journey is to really think about our financial priorities. Mine are family, home and travel.  This helps us to make choices about where we spend money. I hate wasting money on stuff I don't care about. There is always a finite amount of money, so it just helps to focus it on the things that make you happy.

You really sound like you have got yourself into a better place mentally, which is great to see.

ladyholly

You are not a horrble person okay I dont know you but you wife is still with you, your son thinks you are the best thing since sliced bread and you have gone out of your way to help your tenants.  You presumably have confidence in your business or it would have failed long ago so have some in your personal life. None of us is perfect we all do stupid things, get angry, make silly decisions but it doesnt make anyone a horrible person. Having the income you would like to have is called ambition which is fine. I am intereseted what income would be "having made it"  in your opinion because I can pretty well guarantee if you reached it you still wouldnt be satisfied and would want to make more. That too is fine as long as you dont spend more than you earn.

alt80

OK Nottingham people - where can we actually go? Been having a discussion with staff / wife and we are all a bit confused. Also had a tenant try to cancel an inspection over this because I live in a different postcode area to her - just excuses there I think lol.

Work - not affected all agreed there. 

Only allowed to mix with household unless single - agreed. 

Social - originally not allowed to travel outside of City/ Gedling/ Rushcliffe/ Broxtowe areas if you lived in one of those - we took that to mean if you lived in City you could go to somewhere in Rushcliffe for a social eg. One of us thought it meant if you’re City you can ONLY stay in City, Rushcliffe has to stay in Rushcliffe etc etc etc Now whole of Nottinghamshire is Tier 3 so it seems logical that if you’re City, you can go to Bassetlaw/ Ashfield etc on a social if you so wish (why anyone would go to Ashfield on a social is beyond me though ha)? Again one of us thinks we are just limited to own own boroughs. Can travel for work though unlimited which surely means you can have an expensed lunch out of area eg got a job just over the border in Derbyshire / Lincolnshire you can go and can have lunch in a cafe because its work and expensed.

Actually you can play along even if you’re not from round here - aren’t ‘local shops for local people’ in these parts that’s over the border in Derby... honestly does anyone actually know what these rules mean?? 

getmore4less

I think if you can open up a bit to put more trust in others both the business and the personal life will improve significantly

There has been a level of defence(much improved) here when the hard question were getting asked, if this is also happening in the real world it can have a very negative impact on how people react to you as they can become very reserved about pointing out potential problems in case they get shouted down.

Clearly your wife could have helped at home as she is doing now, but I wonder if your closed approach has not helped in the business where those closest to you have seen what's been going on but too scared to say anything or offer help, remember if your business is successful they get to benefit as well. 
Maybe the same with some of your social acquaintances in the car and property world have also held back, good friends should feel they can call you out anytime when being a bit of a door handle. 

I said before you need to find new habits that will replace the old bad ones,  you are certainly getting there, a new project in the business that can give a great buzz when done(don't stop looking for the next one) and the family life that is giving you new pleasures you never knew existed.

I know that lego AM was a bit pricy  perhaps these will fit the new budget part of the 2 for £15 (argos)

getmore4less

 tier2  and tier 3 there are quire a few exclusions that people can use to get round the single household rules.

Linked childcare household

That could be the in-laws if you are not in one already 

worth a read of the legislation as that covers them in the detail needed.

https://www.legislation.gov.uk/uksi/2020/1105/contents
exclusions
https://www.legislation.gov.uk/uksi/2020/1105/schedule/1

and a list of local places effected
https://www.legislation.gov.uk/uksi/2020/1105/schedule/2A

enthusiasticsaver

Aren't the cafes etc closed if Tier 3? I was under the impression you could not go outside your area if Tier 3 and cafes, non essential shops etc were closed. Just seen news footage of Nottingham crowds last night. Honestly some of the rules don't make sense but that is just asking for trouble. If they are going to lock down areas they should do it with immediate effect. Giving notice just encourages them all to go out before they get locked down. We are still Tier 1 so what do I know though. I know our local city is on the brink of Tier 2 but we are 8 miles away from that. 

Busy_Mee

We move into Tier 3 on Monday.  Only pubs, bars and clubs close. Anywhere serving alcohol with food stays open, and cafes restaurants. Can't meet any other households indoors unless for childcare or in support bubble or  in the course of work. Not supposed to leave the area unless for work. Can go on holiday abroad though.

Grumpelstiltskin

enthusiasticsaver said:

Aren't the cafes etc closed if Tier 3? I was under the impression you could not go outside your area if Tier 3 and cafes, non essential shops etc were closed. Just seen news footage of Nottingham crowds last night. Honestly some of the rules don't make sense but that is just asking for trouble. If they are going to lock down areas they should do it with immediate effect. Giving notice just encourages them all to go out before they get locked down. We are still Tier 1 so what do I know though. I know our local city is on the brink of Tier 2 but we are 8 miles away from that. 

All shops are open, Cafes are a problem as I honestly don't think anyone knows for sure.
It's a mess, for example in Nottingham the Ice Rink is open but the Roller Skating Rink has had to close.