Neighbour noise - how much is acceptable?

RobM99

Ghastly old bag next door used to make noise deliberately - one particular door squeaked like the gate to Frankensteins' castle. Usually about 3 a.m.  Until, a few minutes after, I'd shout NNnnnnyyyyrrrrr...CLUNK!". The noise soon stopped.

Rosa_Damascena

TELLIT01 said:

Crumble2018 said:

I know - I admit I'm very sensitive, although it's only background TV and music that upsets me - I think it grates because I get angry that people can't be considerate. We live near a busy road and railway line - neither bother me at all.  I really need to live in a detached property, but sadly we're never going to be able to afford that!!

They can't be considerate it they don't know there is a problem.  As your wife has met them she would seem the obvious person to speak to them.

There is such a thing as anticipatory consideration. I try not to do anything to p my neighbours off and expect the same in return.

Crumble2018

Rosa_Damascena said:

TELLIT01 said:

Crumble2018 said:

I know - I admit I'm very sensitive, although it's only background TV and music that upsets me - I think it grates because I get angry that people can't be considerate. We live near a busy road and railway line - neither bother me at all.  I really need to live in a detached property, but sadly we're never going to be able to afford that!!

They can't be considerate it they don't know there is a problem.  As your wife has met them she would seem the obvious person to speak to them.

There is such a thing as anticipatory consideration. I try not to do anything to p my neighbours off and expect the same in return.

This!  There's no way he couldn't know the neighbours could hear it!  Or am I crediting people with too much common sense??!

TELLIT01

Rosa_Damascena said:

TELLIT01 said:

Crumble2018 said:

I know - I admit I'm very sensitive, although it's only background TV and music that upsets me - I think it grates because I get angry that people can't be considerate. We live near a busy road and railway line - neither bother me at all.  I really need to live in a detached property, but sadly we're never going to be able to afford that!!

They can't be considerate it they don't know there is a problem.  As your wife has met them she would seem the obvious person to speak to them.

There is such a thing as anticipatory consideration. I try not to do anything to p my neighbours off and expect the same in return.

The OP has said that they are very sensitive to sound.  If the people in the other flat are playing music at their usual level and never had complaints from other neighbours they can't possibly know there is a problem now.  Irrespective of that, the only way to get it addressed is to speak to them.

Norman_Castle

Crumble2018 said:

Rosa_Damascena said:

TELLIT01 said:

Crumble2018 said:

I know - I admit I'm very sensitive, although it's only background TV and music that upsets me - I think it grates because I get angry that people can't be considerate. We live near a busy road and railway line - neither bother me at all.  I really need to live in a detached property, but sadly we're never going to be able to afford that!!

They can't be considerate it they don't know there is a problem.  As your wife has met them she would seem the obvious person to speak to them.

There is such a thing as anticipatory consideration. I try not to do anything to p my neighbours off and expect the same in return.

This!  There's no way he couldn't know the neighbours could hear it!  Or am I crediting people with too much common sense??!

Common sense is a dying art. How old are they? This could be their first independent home.

Crumble2018

Norman_Castle said:

Crumble2018 said:

Rosa_Damascena said:

TELLIT01 said:

Crumble2018 said:

I know - I admit I'm very sensitive, although it's only background TV and music that upsets me - I think it grates because I get angry that people can't be considerate. We live near a busy road and railway line - neither bother me at all.  I really need to live in a detached property, but sadly we're never going to be able to afford that!!

They can't be considerate it they don't know there is a problem.  As your wife has met them she would seem the obvious person to speak to them.

There is such a thing as anticipatory consideration. I try not to do anything to p my neighbours off and expect the same in return.

This!  There's no way he couldn't know the neighbours could hear it!  Or am I crediting people with too much common sense??!

Common sense is a dying art. How old are they? This could be their first independent home.

In their 30's I think. 

Crumble2018

Thanks for the comments everyone.  It was all quiet last night, but my partner will address it when it happens again.

poppellerant

Perhaps your neighbours are just blissfully unaware of how well sound travels through the building? Perhaps putting your favourite song on for 5-10 minutes when they are in could demonstrate this to your neighbours, without coming as rude or trying to tell them off.  If the noise from them continues, then knock and have a polite word with them.

atrixa

As you are above them, you could complain about the music only for them to complain about you stomping around their ceiling (even if you think you're walking around normally), dropping things, slamming cupboards, sneezing loudly etc. As you can probably tell, I have upstairs neighbours. If the music is being played when you're trying to get to sleep, then raise it, but if not I would just put it down to general flat-living and get on with my life. I do sympathise, I'm quite sensitive to noise as well.

Rosa_Damascena

Crumble2018 said:

Norman_Castle said:

Crumble2018 said:

Rosa_Damascena said:

TELLIT01 said:

Crumble2018 said:

I know - I admit I'm very sensitive, although it's only background TV and music that upsets me - I think it grates because I get angry that people can't be considerate. We live near a busy road and railway line - neither bother me at all.  I really need to live in a detached property, but sadly we're never going to be able to afford that!!

They can't be considerate it they don't know there is a problem.  As your wife has met them she would seem the obvious person to speak to them.

There is such a thing as anticipatory consideration. I try not to do anything to p my neighbours off and expect the same in return.

This!  There's no way he couldn't know the neighbours could hear it!  Or am I crediting people with too much common sense??!

Common sense is a dying art. How old are they? This could be their first independent home.

In their 30's I think. 

Then they should jolly well know better. 

I was in the unexpected company of a family with no concept of social distancing when I nipped into Lidl earlier. Parents in their late 30s / early 40s wearing their face masks as chin hammocks, with under 10s (probably 7-9 yos) who didn't seem to think that social distancing was necessary. I asked them to keep their distance more than once.