A new royal start

QueenJess

Well today I am utterly distracted.  We've been told at work that we have to be in the office for all our core hours for three specified days (by them) a week.  I live 1.5 hours drive from the office, which I could live with if it wasn't for kids needing to be picked up or dropped off plus the fact there actually is no reason my job can't be 100% remote (I work better from home and actually I've been remote for 5 years now).  I'm still working out how to do this with some other complications of dealing with other time zones round the world.  It's been suggested I drive to the office for the morning and drive home at lunchtime... so drive as much as I am working.

I know our department will be gone in the next few years and I will be out of a job, but I had planned to stick it out for a while yet.  The problem is that the nice big boss has left, the stuff I really like doing is going to someone else and I am getting more of the stuff I don't like.  I was planning to suck that up because the upsides of being able to work remotely and flexibly were just too good to miss.  Now that's gone, I'm struggling to find reasons to stay, so I think I'll be dusting off the CV and looking around for something better (and closer!).  It's just annoying as I thought it would be a slow slide to leaving rather than changing overnight.  Oh well..

TallGirl

Oh no but your workload does sound awful so maybe it is time to dust off that CV. What a horrible message to receive though especially when there is no need to go in. I could not imagine commuting that much even if it was 2-3 days that is still a lot. 

QueenJess

TallGirl said:

Oh no but your workload does sound awful so maybe it is time to dust off that CV. What a horrible message to receive though especially when there is no need to go in. I could not imagine commuting that much even if it was 2-3 days that is still a lot. 

Thanks @TallGirl.  I am really irritated by it.  They've been fine with it for 5 years and I've asked multiple times (most recently in May) if I should formally get it down and approved, but they've always said no need and they are more than happy for me to work remotely and never come in.  Problem is that the new boss just says yes to everyone above and does what they say (the previous lady had young kids like me and worked remotely and was very people orientated).  I asked how much flexibility there was in the new rules, but it appears it is limited despite this being applied to get people back after Covid which doesn't apply to me since I was never there anyway.  I'm very disappointed in the change in attitude as the new boss very recently told me not to bother coming in as he was fine with it.

My whole life seems like running from one thing to the other and getting a way better work life balance was the most important thing to me whilst the kids are young.  DD particularly is very difficult to deal with at the moment (just the usual terrible two years, which really grind you down) and the whole work-life balance thing was the reason I dropped a day.  Actually I wanted to drop down to 3 days a week, but I knew they wouldn't accept that and my compromise was that I know I was remote and flexible, so I would see if I could make that work.  With all the travelling it feels like the better work life balance I tried to get in May has been rescinded already as I will effectively lose a whole day due to travelling and I feel as if I'm back where I started.  I don't want to struggle through as I want to spend as much time as I can with the kids whilst also having some time to myself so I don't go completely mad.  I don't want to just cope, I want to actually live!

I feel like the direction of travel now can only be bad after a good year post maternity with the other lady in charge.  She's only been gone 3 days!  I am following up a couple of potential job leads with a couple of contacts that I had in my back pocket ready in case and will see where they go.  I can't escape long hours at certain times just because of what I do, but the flexibility around it and the ability to plan and be completely responsible really helps.

I'm not sure why I'm trying to justify myself, but I guess I was in a good position and it sounds like I'm overreacting.  But even after a couple of nights sleep I still feel the same and now am not sleeping very well worrying about it.  Am glad I have a holiday booked in a couple of weeks to get away from the madness for a bit.

Other than that, DS is off on a big treat with DH today (something we've been looking out for him for years came up as an opportunity).  I took the chance to take DD into town as I knew her feet would have grown.  She had great fun trying all the shoes on in the shop and eventually chose some and some new wellies (failed to find 2nd hand ones).  Also got some socks for DS for school as he doesn't have enough/some have holes and some more bubble bars for DD and DS's baths.  Lots of money duly spent, but it was all on the list.  Also got some free contact lenses by incredibly politely complaining... I wasn't going to be rude, but I started by apologising to them by saying "Sorry, but I think I need to complain"!  It's a big long saga for another day and I am still waiting for lenses after 1 month.  Sounds like it *might* be solved now, but I won't hold my breath until they have arrived.

Am totally exhausted now after long weeks working incredibly hard at work and now not sleeping properly.  Will fall into bed early tonight and may have a cheeky gin and tonic later.

Lunch today was pizza out and dinner will be tomato pasta followed by jelly for DD and I have mango, meringue and yogurt.  Lots of tasty goodies made yesterday, so tomorrow morning we have a big pile of banana drop scones for breakfast, there is still loads of malt loaf for snacks and a new stack of banana and chocolate flapjacks.  No one will be going hungry.

Bluegreen143

I don’t think you are overreacting at all. To go from completely home based to 75% office based all at once is very hard on you. It seems especially unfair given you were already home based before covid. 

Work life balance is so critical when you have young kids at home. I go into the office once a week and that’s plenty for me at this stage! And my commute is short (20 minutes drive) and I’m allowed to leave at 2.30 to do the school run. If I had a long commute and multiple office days I’d be looking for a new job too. 

Hope you manage to get something else which suits better! Or that they come to their senses.

QueenJess

Not much happening here, although I'm not sleeping very well (not helped by DD having nightmares and me having to cuddle her and read a book to get her back to sleep).  I wonder what goes through her little brain sometimes as she shouts out before waking up.  Last night's little gem was "No! They're my rice cakes!"

Beyond angry with stupid work stuff and finding it hard to concentrate.  We've been told today that if we want to come in early to early or late to late one day for kids plays, parents evening etc then tough because they won't allow it and we have to miss it.  This is just part of the fun.  My CV is updated and I have a couple of inquiries out to personal contacts.  I now need to find some good recruitment agents to get the job hunt moving as I have a 3 month notice period.

themadvix

Wow, they sound like they’re going to lose a lot of staff very quickly with that sort of attitude! Good luck with the job hunt!

 Love DD’s outburst 😂

QueenJess

themadvix said:

Wow, they sound like they’re going to lose a lot of staff very quickly with that sort of attitude! Good luck with the job hunt!

 Love DD’s outburst 😂

Oh it's so much worse... you don't know the half of it.  We've been told flexible working requests will only be considered for exceptional circumstances.  Dropping off and picking up kids isn't one and we should have childcare in place as it isn't their problem.  I cannot get back from work in time to pick up the kids (childcare doesn't go later than 6pm and DD has to go to bed by 7pm) and since I dropped my hours to 4 days a week I've already made a flexible working request for this year and they aren't obliged to look at another one. 

Even in the morning although DH normally drops off, I can do breakfast clubs and get them in by 7:30, but no guarantee I will be in by 9 as the traffic around the office is truly awful.  You go figure..  I'm that close to just handing in my notice with no job frankly.  My mental health and family is more important than money.

TallGirl

Sending hugs sounds horrible hope you find some other good job opportunities soon. Family is more important than work 

themadvix

Oh Jess, that’s awful. What is their problem? Totally wouldn’t blame you if you handed notice in. What does DH say? Could he go back to 5 days a week (temporarily)?

badmemory

They are trying to cut down their workforce without declaring redundancies.  It seems to me likely that they won't be wanting people to work all their 3 months notice, which could be a good thing.