No will left and died intestate...now family has imploded!

Flugelhorn

Brother probably is old school and thinks that the eldest son should inherit everything  as they always used to 

MoneySeeker1

Flugelhorn said:

Brother probably is old school and thinks that the eldest son should inherit everything  as they always used to 

Thought that was just aristocratic families - ie the Lord of the Manor traditionally left the country estate etc to the eldest son and the youngest child was supposed to settle for something like becoming the local Vicar and the daughters were supposed to get married and have a husband provide for them.

May be wrong - but not aware of "ordinary" families doing this. I believe that about 80% of ordinary families leave a fair Will (ie divided equally between their children - which, in this case, would be one-third each, being 3 of them). There seems to be about 20% that leave an unfair Will (and about half of those 20% of those expecting to be beneficiaries don't know it's going to be an unfair Will and are surprised to discover that fact).

Nope - sounds to me like brother is someone that's distinctly lazy and a typically "short-sighted" person (ie doesn't plan very far - if at all - into the future) and didn't see this coming (ie fathers death). That, even though it would be clear to everyone that this would happen at some point soon and his cosy little sinecure come to an end and he needed to be making arrangements for his own accommodation/income/business address. Some people are just lazy and that seems to be what is happening in this case - ie with the brother.

Sea_Shell

MoneySeeker1 said:

Flugelhorn said:

Brother probably is old school and thinks that the eldest son should inherit everything  as they always used to 

Nope - sounds to me like brother is someone that's distinctly lazy and a typically "short-sighted" person (ie doesn't plan very far - if at all - into the future) and didn't see this coming (ie fathers death). That, even though it would be clear to everyone that this would happen at some point soon and his cosy little sinecure come to an end and he needed to be making arrangements for his own accommodation/income/business address. Some people are just lazy and that seems to be what is happening in this case - ie with the brother.

I agree, sometimes family can have a habit of sticking their head in the sand, and not giving any thought to the "what if's".    I can see this happening personally, and feel I can't speak up, as I'll burst their little bubble, but I can see what complications lie down the road.    Whenever I try and broach the subject, I'm the bad guy.   

xylophone

https://www.myerson.co.uk/news-insights-and-events/what-is-the-difference-between-grant-of-probate-and-letters-of-administration
Who is the named Administrator?

MoneySeeker1

Sea_Shell said:

MoneySeeker1 said:

Flugelhorn said:

Brother probably is old school and thinks that the eldest son should inherit everything  as they always used to 

Nope - sounds to me like brother is someone that's distinctly lazy and a typically "short-sighted" person (ie doesn't plan very far - if at all - into the future) and didn't see this coming (ie fathers death). That, even though it would be clear to everyone that this would happen at some point soon and his cosy little sinecure come to an end and he needed to be making arrangements for his own accommodation/income/business address. Some people are just lazy and that seems to be what is happening in this case - ie with the brother.

I agree, sometimes family can have a habit of sticking their head in the sand, and not giving any thought to the "what if's".    I can see this happening personally, and feel I can't speak up, as I'll burst their little bubble, but I can see what complications lie down the road.    Whenever I try and broach the subject, I'm the bad guy.   

Sea_Shell said:

MoneySeeker1 said:

Flugelhorn said:

Brother probably is old school and thinks that the eldest son should inherit everything  as they always used to 

Nope - sounds to me like brother is someone that's distinctly lazy and a typically "short-sighted" person (ie doesn't plan very far - if at all - into the future) and didn't see this coming (ie fathers death). That, even though it would be clear to everyone that this would happen at some point soon and his cosy little sinecure come to an end and he needed to be making arrangements for his own accommodation/income/business address. Some people are just lazy and that seems to be what is happening in this case - ie with the brother.

I agree, sometimes family can have a habit of sticking their head in the sand, and not giving any thought to the "what if's".    I can see this happening personally, and feel I can't speak up, as I'll burst their little bubble, but I can see what complications lie down the road.    Whenever I try and broach the subject, I'm the bad guy.   

A hell of a lot of people (in many different contexts) do indeed seem to go round "living in a bubble" as you put it.

I certainly agree that "positive thinking" has its merits and sometimes a bit of that can show "a way forward" when logic isn't indicating there is one (I've experienced that myself) - but, by and large, a heck of a high proportion of people have "bubble thinking" and I've learnt this year that it's probably (almost certainly!) the majority of people that go in for "bubble thinking" one way or another. Personally, I'd rather have the rose-tinted glasses off and see things for what they are.

It feels downright chilly sometimes standing there on a peak looking out over the horizon with the wind whistling round you - but, at least if you acknowledge you are standing on that isolated peak - then you reach for a warm coat and a fire to prepare better for it (rather than sitting there in your bikini pretending it's a lovely little beach and the sun is beating down from the sky etc).

endaf

xylophone said:

https://www.myerson.co.uk/news-insights-and-events/what-is-the-difference-between-grant-of-probate-and-letters-of-administration
Who is the named Administrator?

At the start of the process I stated i was happy to sort everything out as id done it years ago for my mother but all parties agreed we'd hire a solicitor to sort it all out as there (at that time) potential inheritance tax issues. So im guessing id be right in thinking the solicitor we hired otherwise we would have elected for all 3 of us to be named......

endaf

Oh and whether this muddy's the water of this mess even more. My brother and sister have stated that apparently my father had said verbally to them and 2 family friends who i dont know that he wanted certain things to happen after his death. Unfortunately he didnt leave an official will with those wishes though and of course each party has a completely different version of what those verbal wishes were! 

elsien

Doesn't make much odds - if he felt that strongly about it, he should have made a will, or at least written down some wishes to be taken into consideration. As it is, if there's no agreement as to what was said, then it's academic anyway. 

thepurplepixie

MoneySeeker1 said:

Brother isn't a youngster then at that age.

I'm wondering if the background as to why brother was "living off" father so much might be relevant as to what his chances might be of claiming "financial dependency". Is he mentally ill/physically ill/of very low intelligence/or what?

Or is he just plain lazy and has been enjoying having a free ride to date?

At a very "practical" level might he try arguing he was a carer to your father?

Or maybe the father didn't want to live alone and the other two siblings were happy to leave the responsibility to the brother?

endaf

elsien said:

Doesn't make much odds - if he felt that strongly about it, he should have made a will, or at least written down some wishes to be taken into consideration. As it is, if there's no agreement as to what was said, then it's academic anyway. 

Yes i have stated to both parties that, if my father felt strongly about it he should have made a will, as I had been telling him often since his estranged wife (my mother) passed away without a will! but because he didnt, we are now in this mess which could potentially costs significant amounts of money from all 3 of us to resolve through the legal process.