DFW Advent Calendar 2007/Daily Chat Thread - 4th Dec

immoral_angeluk

Hi guys.. I've been having serious problems trying to get on MSE with the page not responding and it freezing up so while it's letting me on I thought I'd rush in and post this up and update my diary if it lets me... if I'm not around later it means I'm having more problems...

postingalwaysposting

ia, its not you its everyone its been happening since 5pm last night. Dont worry yourself hun.

immoral_angeluk

phew.. that's ok then! lol!

hypno06

yup, slow here too. Very frustrating :mad:

I have to go and have a filling very shortly, so will return with a numb face, stupid dribbly look and the inability to drink coffee for a couple of hours!

postingalwaysposting

well i am attemting to do my coursework, however i am completely stuck on one thing and the other is doing my head in :mad: i hate work :rotfl:

Toto

Morning everyone. I spent half the day in the hospital with amber yesterday. She had a routine visit with her consultant but things haven't been right for a while and she's really having a hard time with life generally. So, after months of trying various treatments we've been refered to Great Ormond St to see a specialist to see if we can get to the bottom of it all.

I'm not sure if it's her epilepsy or if she has some other chemical problem going on in her brain. She may even have a bi polar disorder which will need some more 'serious' medication. All I know is that she isn't in control of her moods and actions. She'll have times of laughing hysterically over nothing, 2 minutes later she'll become violent and attack a teacher or someone. But when she lashes out she has this sad expression on her face which screams, I don't want to do this. Bless her little heart, she's such a sweet thing.

So, hubby and I had a long talk yesterday about everything and we've decided that for the next couple of years I am going to dedicate myself to the family. This means no work. My job is to sort the kids out, give them a little more stability. It was slapped in my face yesterday afternoon when I had a call from my agent asking if I would do a tour in April for 8 weeks. My other daughter was sitting next to me and could hear the conversation, she turned away and went to walk off, I grabbed her and as she turned I could see tears streaming down her face. I felt like the worst parent on the planet. My little one was so sad, she couldn't stand the idea that mummy would be off working again for weeks at a time. In fairness I hate the tours too, but I'm so stuck between earning a living and being a mum. Sometimes it's hard to turn the work away, on a 2 month tour I can earn £20,000, that allows me to not work for a few months, picking and choosing what I do. But, rightly so, the kids don't care about that and I suppose it's a lesson I needed to learn too.

I'm going for a meeting with my agent today who is no doubt going to tell me I am only as good as my last gig and that I'm being a total nob head. I have to leave totally though, if I say I'll only do the studio sessions I'll keep having the tours and stuff thrown at me, and they are hard to keep turning down.

So, that's my news, sorry to make this thread all about me again! I seem to do that daily with my dramas. I just wanted to get it all off my chest though. Hope you don't mind

Snaggles

Why oh why do I bother buying baby toys????

She would much rather eat Ryan's wooden building blocks, mountaineer up the ironing pile :eek: and try to chew through the laptop cable! :eek: :eek:

Morning btw! Site is slow here too.......bahhhhh!!!!

immoral_angeluk

Toto wrote: »

Morning everyone. I spent half the day in the hospital with amber yesterday. She had a routine visit with her consultant but things haven't been right for a while and she's really having a hard time with life generally. So, after months of trying various treatments we've been refered to Great Ormond St to see a specialist to see if we can get to the bottom of it all.

I'm not sure if it's her epilepsy or if she has some other chemical problem going on in her brain. She may even have a bi polar disorder which will need some more 'serious' medication. All I know is that she isn't in control of her moods and actions. She'll have times of laughing hysterically over nothing, 2 minutes later she'll become violent and attack a teacher or someone. But when she lashes out she has this sad expression on her face which screams, I don't want to do this. Bless her little heart, she's such a sweet thing.

So, hubby and I had a long talk yesterday about everything and we've decided that for the next couple of years I am going to dedicate myself to the family. This means no work. My job is to sort the kids out, give them a little more stability. It was slapped in my face yesterday afternoon when I had a call from my agent asking if I would do a tour in April for 8 weeks. My other daughter was sitting next to me and could hear the conversation, she turned away and went to walk off, I grabbed her and as she turned I could see tears streaming down her face. I felt like the worst parent on the planet. My little one was so sad, she couldn't stand the idea that mummy would be off working again for weeks at a time. In fairness I hate the tours too, but I'm so stuck between earning a living and being a mum. Sometimes it's hard to turn the work away, on a 2 month tour I can earn £20,000, that allows me to not work for a few months, picking and choosing what I do. But, rightly so, the kids don't care about that and I suppose it's a lesson I needed to learn too.

I'm going for a meeting with my agent today who is no doubt going to tell me I am only as good as my last gig and that I'm being a total nob head. I have to leave totally though, if I say I'll only do the studio sessions I'll keep having the tours and stuff thrown at me, and they are hard to keep turning down.

So, that's my news, sorry to make this thread all about me again! I seem to do that daily with my dramas. I just wanted to get it all off my chest though. Hope you don't mind

:grouphug: Sorry to hear you're having a rough time of it hun... just do whats best for you and your babies.. screw your agent.. he's just in it to make money.

hypno06

Gotta rush to the dentist now but just wanted to send big big hugs to Toto. I made the same decision a couple of years back. It doesn't last for ever, after a bit of a break to be a "normal Mum" I am now able to go back to full time work with the blessing of the Children - think they realise it will actually make me less stressed!!

(((((((hugs)))))))

immoral_angeluk

Snaggles wrote: »

Why oh why do I bother buying baby toys????

She would much rather eat Ryan's wooden building blocks, mountaineer up the ironing pile :eek: and try to chew through the laptop cable! :eek: :eek:

yep, know that feeling.. K's currently trying to chew Ste's drum kit. :eek:

themaccas

Hi Toto
I can definately understand you wanting to devote some time to your family. You are a wonderful mum and your kids will appreciate everything you have done for them.

I watched the programme on C4 last night about a woman who didn't love her baby and it was heartbreaking to watch. Our youngest of 3 (he's 4 years old) started school in Sept and he is very different from our other 2 - he gets very angry, obbsessive, violent at times. It struck me that I have been so busy trying to mould him into a clone of our other 2 that I have never appreciated his own little personality and accepted that he is simply different. I have been so caught up in working, debt busting and everything else I haven't really noticed. I don't really know what to do now but your post you have just written has inspired me.
Thank you
x