Complicated, but advice needed

JollyLady

I'm one of two Executors of my mum's will, which is currently in probate, granted early December last year, done it ourselves, was easy enough and straight forward. The other executor is my ex husband (yes, I know!) He certainly does not have my best interests at heart! I am an only child, and mum passed away last July, leaving a large estate, but just under the tax limit, including her property. 
I suffer from mental health issues due to emotional abuse from the ex husband and childhood trauma, and am currently under mental health services, and also ongoing therapy, somewhat due to mum going. Much unresolved grief 13 months on.

The will left the house to me, 10k to my ex husband, and 20k between 'all my great-grandchildren'. The rest to be divided equally between myself, my son, and my daughter.

At the time the will was written, my son had a child born to him, but also a child whom he had 'taken on' as the father 'did not want to know'. My daughter had no children at the time.She subsequently gave birth to a son who was 5 months on the day of mum's funeral. 

Mum gave my son a 40k deposit to buy a house, which he still has, of course, but he threw the mother out, with his son, and the step son, about 7 years ago, to pursue another relationship, and is now on another relationship with 2 new children he has acquired- not my way of doing things, and have tried to show my support, but totally disapprove. He does work very successfully as a plumber, and has always worked.

My daughter, on the other hand, is academic, and got a first class undergrad, then a masters, and started a phd. She had a child a year last March, and mum also gave her 40k to buy a house when she was pregnant. This was part of my mums will now, as C was born before she passed. Very, very sadly, they had 18 months in that house before J, the dad, sadly died of cancer this June, aged 29, leaving my daughter as a sudden single parent.

So, regarding mum's will, the family are all falling out about it, as it seems that the wording 'All my great-grandchildren' means, blood great-grandchildren. Have approached the solicitor who wrote the will, and he just rants at me that the will has to be executed within the words of the law, whilst realising he made a big error in the wording

We all know that my mum 'meant' R to be included, (R is the child my son took on, and good on him, but he knows we are not his blood family) but mum was not making rational decisions, and I had many conversations with her, and we all as family members were concerned, but the gp etc did nothing, trying to make out we were trying to say she was mentally unfit- she was- we knew her. She lost a 70k investment to London Capital and Finance in the months before her death, she just was not thinking straight. My thing is that R will have his own inheritances from his own family, as it is quite a wealthy family

Everyone is falling out with me, as I want the two lawful great grandsons to inherit, but not the one who is not ours as it were.I am so alone and vulnerable,and need advice please

It is breaking me, as well as the rest of the will. I miss my mum and dad, and this is their lives we are talking about. 

The ex-husbands final parent died recently, and I have no idea about his dads will, though went to pay my respects in his coffin. Ex husband is a bully and I need to know my rights as an only child. There is quite a lot of money to be distributed yet, but am wanting to keep it in the executor account as not happy.

Not explained it very well, but advice and questions to clarify appreciated



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JollyLady

You got it in one, thank goodness I have explained it right.

That is an option

More complicated than that though

naedanger

JollyLady said:

You got it in one, thank goodness I have explained it right.

That is an option

More complicated than that though

I think you may be replying to my post. But I deleted it because I thought I had misunderstood one point. So I will ask one question.
Who wants the step great-grandchild to get an inheritance from your Mum's estate?

JollyLady

My son, obviously, and the other executor, but not me. Good way of asking.Thank you
Main other beneficiary, my daughter, not bothered, at this moment she is grieveing having seen her 29 year old partner die in a hospice in June.
However, the two beneficiaries were are speaking of, two blood great grandchildren, are only nearly 9 and 15 months. Worried they might challenge how the will has been executed

DCFC79

That was long, I have to say I agree with you OP.

naedanger

Well from what the solicitor said it sounds like the two-blood great grandchildren are each entitled to £10k.
Therefore if others want to see another step great grandchild inherit £10k (to equal the blood great grandchildren's share) then you could insist that they take this from their share.

I guess what I am about to say next you will not like, but I am actually saying for your benefit and not anyone else. If I was in your position I would ensure the step great grandchild was also given £10k. This cost of this should (provided your daughter agrees) be split equally between yourself your son, and  your daughter (as you three share the residual amount equally). Alternatively if your daughter won't agree I would split the cost equally between yourself and your son.

If just seems to me best to take a pragmatic decision and move on as quickly as possible. If you are getting a large inheritance then don't let it actually cause you harm when it should be a significant benefit.

JollyLady

No idea why I have not been able to comment, but thank you for the feedback. £ long posts have not been delivered

JollyLady

Thanks Naedanger, was actually posting, but somehow moderated and the long ramblings have been lost.

Yes, get you stance, but mine has always been that R (the step ggs) has lots of his own inheritance to come. We only live in a small town. His father will pop up, and his father's family. we know who they are. They are not denying him

onwards&upwards

naedanger said:

Well from what the solicitor said it sounds like the two-blood great grandchildren are each entitled to £10k.
Therefore if others want to see another step great grandchild inherit £10k (to equal the blood great grandchildren's share) then you could insist that they take this from their share.

I guess what I am about to say next you will not like, but I am actually saying for your benefit and not anyone else. If I was in your position I would ensure the step great grandchild was also given £10k. This cost of this should (provided your daughter agrees) be split equally between yourself your son, and  your daughter (as you three share the residual amount equally). Alternatively if your daughter won't agree I would split the cost equally between yourself and your son.

If just seems to me best to take a pragmatic decision and move on as quickly as possible. If you are getting a large inheritance then don't let it actually cause you harm when it should be a significant benefit.

I wouldn't ask the daughter to give up any of her inheritance, she is recently widowed with a young child, the money will be very useful to her I'm sure. 

The son and the OP should use their shares to provide for the step grandchildren. 

naedanger

Quite possibly, but no-one knows what the future holds.

It seems you are the one most adversely affected by this situation (i.e. the conflict), and that seems silly given you are actually the greatest beneficiary. You can actually solve the problem by giving up a small part of your inheritance, so it would seem like money well spent.

Savvy_Sue

The solicitor is right, although wrong to rant at you. As the will stands, only the two blood ggc benefit from that part of the will. And you can actually take refuge in that. When your ex tries to bully you, refer him to the solicitor. 

Although I do agree with naedanger, there is merit in your son giving up something if he wants his stepson to benefit. I would not ask your daughter because I do not think it is fair to ask such a thing of her while she is grieving.