Couples app to keep finance split and fair

onwards&upwards

74jax said:

onwards&upwards said:

74jax said:

onwards&upwards said:

I just can't imagine being in a relationship where one 'partner' was wealthy and one 'partner' only just making ends meet.  

If I was the well off 'partner' I'd feel like I was being incredibly selfish. 

No, I can't either, but I hope I haven't made out that is our situation.  

How is that NOT your situation?  

I don't believe it is my situation at all.
I'm not struggling? Or just making ends meet?
I said I don't even use half my salary? 

Then if you have a reasonably high wage and he earns 5-6 times that he is a very very high earner, and I actually think that makes it worse that he doesn't share his good fortune with you.  

74jax

onwards&upwards said:

74jax said:

onwards&upwards said:

74jax said:

onwards&upwards said:

I just can't imagine being in a relationship where one 'partner' was wealthy and one 'partner' only just making ends meet.  

If I was the well off 'partner' I'd feel like I was being incredibly selfish. 

No, I can't either, but I hope I haven't made out that is our situation.  

How is that NOT your situation?  

I don't believe it is my situation at all.
I'm not struggling? Or just making ends meet?
I said I don't even use half my salary? 

Then if you have a reasonably high wage and he earns 5-6 times that he is a very very high earner, and I actually think that makes it worse that he doesn't share his good fortune with you.  

But I don't need it? We live pretty simple lives really, no big houses, just a happy life. I can't think why I'd need his 'good fortune'. We equally treat each other, not just him with me, but me with him.  I don't really need anything financially from him.  We kept our own homes when we married, mine was worth around 1/4 to 1/3 of his, but we live in mine and my daughter stays in his. I didn't need the 'fancier' place...., 😂 . Maybe we are too laid back, I love my holidays but equally love going away in our camper and drinking wine from our camping mugs..... 🙈

AskAsk

74jax said:

onwards&upwards said:

74jax said:

onwards&upwards said:

74jax said:

onwards&upwards said:

I just can't imagine being in a relationship where one 'partner' was wealthy and one 'partner' only just making ends meet.  

If I was the well off 'partner' I'd feel like I was being incredibly selfish. 

No, I can't either, but I hope I haven't made out that is our situation.  

How is that NOT your situation?  

I don't believe it is my situation at all.
I'm not struggling? Or just making ends meet?
I said I don't even use half my salary? 

Then if you have a reasonably high wage and he earns 5-6 times that he is a very very high earner, and I actually think that makes it worse that he doesn't share his good fortune with you.  

But I don't need it? We live pretty simple lives really, no big houses, just a happy life. I can't think why I'd need his 'good fortune'. We equally treat each other, not just him with me, but me with him.  I don't really need anything financially from him.  We kept our own homes when we married, mine was worth around 1/4 to 1/3 of his, but we live in mine and my daughter stays in his. I didn't need the 'fancier' place...., 😂 . Maybe we are too laid back, I love my holidays but equally love going away in our camper and drinking wine from our camping mugs..... 🙈

reminds me, my husband and I both bought premium bonds recently.  my husband said that if either of us win the big £1m prize, we should give the other person £10k so that they share in the good fortune. 
i said no, i am keeping mine, lol 

onwards&upwards

74jax said:

onwards&upwards said:

74jax said:

onwards&upwards said:

74jax said:

onwards&upwards said:

I just can't imagine being in a relationship where one 'partner' was wealthy and one 'partner' only just making ends meet.  

If I was the well off 'partner' I'd feel like I was being incredibly selfish. 

No, I can't either, but I hope I haven't made out that is our situation.  

How is that NOT your situation?  

I don't believe it is my situation at all.
I'm not struggling? Or just making ends meet?
I said I don't even use half my salary? 

Then if you have a reasonably high wage and he earns 5-6 times that he is a very very high earner, and I actually think that makes it worse that he doesn't share his good fortune with you.  

But I don't need it? We live pretty simple lives really, no big houses, just a happy life. I can't think why I'd need his 'good fortune'. We equally treat each other, not just him with me, but me with him.  I don't really need anything financially from him.  We kept our own homes when we married, mine was worth around 1/4 to 1/3 of his, but we live in mine and my daughter stays in his. I didn't need the 'fancier' place...., 😂 . Maybe we are too laid back, I love my holidays but equally love going away in our camper and drinking wine from our camping mugs..... 🙈

I suppose the test will come then if you are ever in a situation where you could benefit from his wealth, or it would be really helpful.  Do you think you would have access to that money?

74jax

onwards&upwards said:

74jax said:

onwards&upwards said:

74jax said:

onwards&upwards said:

74jax said:

onwards&upwards said:

I just can't imagine being in a relationship where one 'partner' was wealthy and one 'partner' only just making ends meet.  

If I was the well off 'partner' I'd feel like I was being incredibly selfish. 

No, I can't either, but I hope I haven't made out that is our situation.  

How is that NOT your situation?  

I don't believe it is my situation at all.
I'm not struggling? Or just making ends meet?
I said I don't even use half my salary? 

Then if you have a reasonably high wage and he earns 5-6 times that he is a very very high earner, and I actually think that makes it worse that he doesn't share his good fortune with you.  

But I don't need it? We live pretty simple lives really, no big houses, just a happy life. I can't think why I'd need his 'good fortune'. We equally treat each other, not just him with me, but me with him.  I don't really need anything financially from him.  We kept our own homes when we married, mine was worth around 1/4 to 1/3 of his, but we live in mine and my daughter stays in his. I didn't need the 'fancier' place...., 😂 . Maybe we are too laid back, I love my holidays but equally love going away in our camper and drinking wine from our camping mugs..... 🙈

I suppose the test will come then if you are ever in a situation where you could benefit from his wealth, or it would be really helpful.  Do you think you would have access to that money?

Totally. And it would work both ways too.
He would have complete access to mine and vice versa. 

strawb_shortcake

I work and my Husband has been a stay at home Dad. Early on I earnt enough to provide for my family but not sufficient to give my Husband an allowance so to speak, he had all he wanted normally his tobacco and money to go to the pub on occasion. Though my income has gone up we've not changed how we jdistribute the money.
Now he's turned his hobby into an income stream albeit small and irregular this is his money alone to do exactly as he pleases with though he usually buys me some shoes once or twice a year. 
We both have very different views on spending money,  and trying to manage one pot between us would end in arguments. 
We have quite substantial joint savings, and this we wouldn't use without thorough discussion with the other. 
I save quite a bit monthly and due to a car accident it's much higher than usual, this is my money to do as I please with, but i guess will be spent on home maintenance and a family holiday. 
When my Husband had his money from the accident he blew it all on a motorbike and accessories. 
I did spend a bit on a luxury holiday for myself and left my family at home last year, at his encouragement and I was in desperate need for a break and he was unable to travel due to health reasons - I know that sounds quite bad.

I'm sure many would interpret our ways as being unfair on my Husband, but it really does work for us. We've discussed how we will split money when he does go back to work, at the moment he is thinking on giving me half his wages which I think is likely to be too much as our monthly bills aren't huge.
We will in future have separate holidays as well as joint ones, and there will be disparity between them, I like tropical beaches he wants to ride round Europe on a motorbike slumming it in a tent  or cheap B&B's. 
It works for us but I know it wouldn't work for many others but doesn't mean to say it's wrong. But I guess if I'd made some bad financial decisions, was in debt or just couldn't manage my money then he would step up to be more involved in our budgeting 

onwards&upwards

74jax said:

onwards&upwards said:

74jax said:

onwards&upwards said:

74jax said:

onwards&upwards said:

74jax said:

onwards&upwards said:

I just can't imagine being in a relationship where one 'partner' was wealthy and one 'partner' only just making ends meet.  

If I was the well off 'partner' I'd feel like I was being incredibly selfish. 

No, I can't either, but I hope I haven't made out that is our situation.  

How is that NOT your situation?  

I don't believe it is my situation at all.
I'm not struggling? Or just making ends meet?
I said I don't even use half my salary? 

Then if you have a reasonably high wage and he earns 5-6 times that he is a very very high earner, and I actually think that makes it worse that he doesn't share his good fortune with you.  

But I don't need it? We live pretty simple lives really, no big houses, just a happy life. I can't think why I'd need his 'good fortune'. We equally treat each other, not just him with me, but me with him.  I don't really need anything financially from him.  We kept our own homes when we married, mine was worth around 1/4 to 1/3 of his, but we live in mine and my daughter stays in his. I didn't need the 'fancier' place...., 😂 . Maybe we are too laid back, I love my holidays but equally love going away in our camper and drinking wine from our camping mugs..... 🙈

I suppose the test will come then if you are ever in a situation where you could benefit from his wealth, or it would be really helpful.  Do you think you would have access to that money?

Totally. And it would work both ways too.
He would have complete access to mine and vice versa. 

Doesn’t sound like access to yours is the issue.  

maman

I think there's a huge difference between struggling/barely making ends meet and being subsidised. I'd never see my DH go without (unless he'd brought it on himself by being extravagant) but I wouldn't subsidise him just because I can. He'd hate that, as would I. Fair doesn't have to mean 50:50.

74jax

onwards&upwards said:

74jax said:

onwards&upwards said:

74jax said:

onwards&upwards said:

74jax said:

onwards&upwards said:

74jax said:

onwards&upwards said:

I just can't imagine being in a relationship where one 'partner' was wealthy and one 'partner' only just making ends meet.  

If I was the well off 'partner' I'd feel like I was being incredibly selfish. 

No, I can't either, but I hope I haven't made out that is our situation.  

How is that NOT your situation?  

I don't believe it is my situation at all.
I'm not struggling? Or just making ends meet?
I said I don't even use half my salary? 

Then if you have a reasonably high wage and he earns 5-6 times that he is a very very high earner, and I actually think that makes it worse that he doesn't share his good fortune with you.  

But I don't need it? We live pretty simple lives really, no big houses, just a happy life. I can't think why I'd need his 'good fortune'. We equally treat each other, not just him with me, but me with him.  I don't really need anything financially from him.  We kept our own homes when we married, mine was worth around 1/4 to 1/3 of his, but we live in mine and my daughter stays in his. I didn't need the 'fancier' place...., 😂 . Maybe we are too laid back, I love my holidays but equally love going away in our camper and drinking wine from our camping mugs..... 🙈

I suppose the test will come then if you are ever in a situation where you could benefit from his wealth, or it would be really helpful.  Do you think you would have access to that money?

Totally. And it would work both ways too.
He would have complete access to mine and vice versa. 

Doesn’t sound like access to yours is the issue.  

I don't think there's an issue either way unless I'm missing something? 
Why wouldnt I give access if needed ? , I can't ever see the need for it, just as much as I can't ever see the need of me needed access to his.
I've said we both earn more than we spend (yes he earns more than me), we both have savings (yes I have more) and we both own property. I really am missing your point, and I don't mean to, but why does it need to be his money I spend, or why does his spending need to be my money.
It seems odd that  neither has access to each others (other than joint bills account) but the issue to you is I don't have access to his, not he doesn't have access to mine.

maman

I find it odd too. There are all sorts of reasons why one partner in a relationship might have more assets than the other. In some cases people choose to forego a higher salary just to have a less stressful lifestyle. As I posted earlier, provided one isn't struggling /living on the breadline or the reason isn't a joint temporary choice (like maternity) or something like disability then I don't see a problem.