Top up card for father with Alzheimers

gsdjj999

My father has just been diagnosed with Alzheimers and vascular dementia and Lloyds bank aren't being very helpful. The HQ telephone POA dept said I could open up an account for dad, load money onto it and stop him having access to the other near £70k that's in his current account and on an ISA. They said to open an account I have to go into a bank. I go into said bank and end up wrangling with the Manager who informs me that they can open up another account but they cant stop dad if he goes into a bank having access to all his money. They either stop all access (debit card and cheque book) or allow total access. I cannot believe Im the first person in the country to come up against this situation. In my panic to save the money from Dad who is looking at now buying a new mobility scooter for £6k using his card and has very bad macular degeneration (OH NO!!!) Ive TX'd £16k out of his account into mine, leaving just the ISA with £44k in it that he can access. Ive seen teenager cards that  one can load, but can I get one for Dad.

I saw a list here https://www.money.co.uk/prepaid-cards/teenager-prepaid-cards.htm

He rarely uses cash and lives 5 hours away from me. He uses his debit card all the time. (contactless and chip and pin... he still remembers the number!)

He will not be happy when I confescate his debit card and cheque book, but he's handing the chequebook to all and sundry and they are filling it out and getting him to sign it. Hes a nightmare as he lives alone and currently is managing ok apart from finances and polies etc, which I am now doing.

Please help!

gsdjj999

finances and policies*

Emmia

You've basically already "stolen" £16k out of his bank account (I realise you've done this as an attempt to "protect him"... but cynically, are you really protecting part of your inheritance??). 

If your Dad is that bad, have you looked at getting a POA in place? Have you thought of opening a basic account with a different bank for him - which won't then be directly linked to his ISAs and Savings... But ultimately, it is his money to spend as he chooses - whether or not this is the best idea, or whether you agree with what he wants to spend it on. 

jonesMUFCforever

The bank is correct that having a PoA  does not stop (in this case) the father access to his money if he wanted.
Having said that knowing he has dementia they would be pretty stupid to let him withdraw large chunks of it without good reason.
Perhaps you need to think about putting him in a home for his own good ?

Chino

gsdjj999 said:

Ive TX'd £16k out of his account into mine

Perhaps best not to admit to this theft on a public forum.

bris

You took 16k, if he has to go into a home for his care which he will at some point that 16k will be missed. You need to clarify why you took it because when they come looking for it the paper trail will lead direct to you.

[Deleted User]

In theory you could get him a normal prepaid card, but how would he feel about this? On the above point on getting PoA for him, I think he needs to be in a fit state to make the decision (would the Dementia impair that?). 

gsdjj999

Chino said:

gsdjj999 said:

Ive TX'd £16k out of his account into mine

Perhaps best not to admit to this theft on a public forum.

Ive not stolen it FGS!!! Its in a shared account with my bank and its in there to stop him stupidly spending it. The whole idea of me protecting him is so that he has money left to spend on what life he has left. I am stunned that you and Emmia

are even suggesting that Ive STOLEN IT!

gsdjj999

bris said:

You took 16k, if he has to go into a home for his care which he will at some point that 16k will be missed. You need to clarify why you took it because when they come looking for it the paper trail will lead direct to you.

I have no intention of hiding it and the matter is all being discussed with my brother, its there so that he has choices when we need to get care for him. Ive accounted for it and the paper trail is very transparent. We have a POA for him, which I why Im helping him not stupidly spend his money

gsdjj999

Emmia said:

You've basically already "stolen" £16k out of his bank account (I realise you've done this as an attempt to "protect him"... but cynically, are you really protecting part of your inheritance??). 

If your Dad is that bad, have you looked at getting a POA in place? Have you thought of opening a basic account with a different bank for him - which won't then be directly linked to his ISAs and Savings... But ultimately, it is his money to spend as he chooses - whether or not this is the best idea, or whether you agree with what he wants to spend it on. 

He has already given us loads of money and having his money is of no interest to me since I have plenty, its saving his that is more important, so that we can get him the care that he wants/needs using his own money. Hes got no idea with paperwork and Ive been helping him get his policies in order as hes been paying £1600 a year to 5 different companies to insure 20year old white goods.

All I was asking for was advice on getting him a spending card, not keyboard warriors accusing me of stealing. Im sickened that you are even suggesting it

gsdjj999

jonesMUFCforever said:

The bank is correct that having a PoA  does not stop (in this case) the father access to his money if he wanted.
Having said that knowing he has dementia they would be pretty stupid to let him withdraw large chunks of it without good reason.
Perhaps you need to think about putting him in a home for his own good ?

Thank you. No he categorically doesnt want to go into a home. He is managing OK, and when the time comes it will have to be the care home route, or carers in the home if he has money left