5 Year Old Niece - School Report

onwards&upwards

Adamc said:

I think the calling it a negative report is perhaps detracting from the advice and reassurance that was sought so I have removed that in the hope responses with helpful suggestions can be made. 

What about all the helpful suggestions that have already been made?  

AnotherJoe

Adamc said:

Thanks for the replies all. 

I haven't tried to push my sister into making a big deal of it as some have suggested. I wouldn't interfere but would like to support if she requires it. I can came here to discuss so I could offer her a wide range of perspectives (not just my own) as she was so upset by it. Thankfully most people here don't see any specific problems with the comments so that is one positive, and there are some genuinely fair points made. 

I think the calling it a negative report is perhaps detracting from the advice and reassurance that was sought so I have removed that in the hope responses with helpful suggestions can be made. 

Best wishes

Well, the advice would be, the parents don't take it so out of context they pass their fears on to the kid, which is obviously what happened.
Some are just reserved and don't make loads of comments in class and put themselves forward. Imagine how insufferable asa teacher you'd find it if every kids was trying to compete for attention. One of my kids got that through Her school reports, it didn't fuss me and I certainly never kicked up enough ofa fuss to make her fearful of going to school 
!
I think the parents need to wise up and I think you need to consider, despite Your attempt to whitewash history, why it is that despite her being acknowledged at being good at maths reading and writing why you "couldn't see anything positive". 

Id say the issue is with you and sister, not the little girl. 

maman

Don't forget that this is the child's first year at school. Many posters are speaking from experience. Parents and uncle may be new to this.

rach_k

If her teacher was worried about anything, he/she would have contacted the parents well before the final report, so try to view it as things to improve rather than negatives.  Even when a child is exceeding all their targets and exceptionally well-behaved, school will put things they can improve in their report, even if massive progress has already been made.  You could also look at what is normal for her age.  I think a 5 year old being distracted or reserved or literal is quite normal, so are they saying she's distracted etc enough that it's a problem, or just commenting that she is?  I'd suggest the latter if she's doing well with her learning and is a happy child normally. 

I think the child's parents need to talk to her about it, as she's obviously heard something or picked up on her parents' feelings.  They should tell her what the report says but focus on the positives and turn the negatives into things the family can work on e.g. she's well behaved and quiet in circle time, but her teacher would love to hear more from her (and mum and dad know how great her ideas are).

If she's bright, she might be distracted because she's bored.  Y1 might start off similar to Reception but it quickly changes to more formal learning so that might suit her better.  Let school handle that anyway!  It's the teacher's job to engage the children. 

As a family (and you as aunt/uncle can get involved), they could try reading (more) stories, acting out their favourite bits, doing silly voices, guessing what might happen next, writing another chapter etc.  Silly games over dinner can be fun too - say there's a pie tray on the table, go round and say what it could be used for.  Is it a space man's hat, a boat for a tiny fishing cat, a drum, a treat bowl for a dog?

My daughter will only ever answer a question in class if she 100% knows it's correct.  It could be that your niece lacks confidence and imaginative answers aren't right or wrong so she might not want to have a go.  If you can show her that being silly or getting things 'wrong' doesn't matter, it may help.  My daughter's teacher this year was great at this - the kids thought she was constantly making mistakes but she did it on purpose and would model how to feel and react when they pointed it out to her i.e. not getting upset, seeing it as a chance to learn.  Having said that, my daughter is just finishing Y5 and still won't answer a question if she isn't totally confident, although we have worked on it for years!  Some kids just don't like answering questions.

thorsoak

maman said:

What I would add in your defence OP is that it does matter that you take the report seriously, the positives and the 'negatives' (I'd call it advice on what she needs to develop). 
I can't really agree with posters who say things like 'She's only 5'. All school years are important, especially primary. 

I think that I might have been the first person to make that statement.   When I wrote that, I meant that the OP should remember that the child is only 5, and not to read the report in the same way as one would when reading that report for a teenager - not that it should be glossed over.

maman

Fair enough thorsoak. Thanks for saying that. I think I've got a bit of a bee in my bonnet about people who imply that primary doesn't matter and children can change when they get to 'big' school. They often don't, in my experience, and they have 7 years in primary but only a maximum of 5 in secondary. 🙂

MalMonroe

Poor little girl. I'm older, I know but we didn't have reports when I was 5. My first report was in junior school. We were just able to be young at infant school. Even when children get older there's so much emphasis placed on education and pushing kids and reports about their progress and conduct. Now my daughter's left school I realise that far too much importance is placed upon the silly things. I was told my daughter was really quiet in class and didn't contribute much to discussions. I didn't care. I knew that she was taking everything in. She was. She got a first class degree. Nothing wrong with her at all but because there wasn't anything wrong, I felt that the teachers had to say SOMETHING derogatory so picked on that quiet business. At the time her father had just left home and we were in turmoil. It really honestly does not matter about school work. Children (and adults) are learning all the time, we never stop learning. I hate the way small children are being judged from such a young age and it really is not good. I know children who are homeschooled, who don't have to go through that and they are so much happier and they are just as intelligent as any other child. I just want to say chill, relax. Five years old is FAR too young to be judged. In any respect.

SootySweep1

Hi
To be honest I think your niece needs lots of cuddles & to try and understand why she was upset. Children do pick up on things even when we think we've discussed something out of ear shot.
From what you've said I think whoever wrote the report was trying to be objective with what they said rather than negative. You s
ay that your niece is ahead in terms of reading, writing & maths so she isn't academically

Jen

sheramber

I was told my son was easily distracted and constantly talking to his classmates. Hos reply was that they had to pass his desk going to different parts of the room and they talked to him  first.
He still managed to get an honours degree 

KatrinaWaves

pogofish said:

I I’d suggest that whoever wrote that report has more negative issues to deal with than the child - maybe time to be asking the school/education authority about professional standards?

What on earth are you on about. There is nothing there showing negative issues with either child nor author.

Professional standards? Please let me know what is unprofessional about the observations in that report. You clearly have very little idea about EYFS observations and assessment.