5 Year Old Niece - School Report

Adamc

**Edited**

Hi all 
My sister's daughter just received her end of year report from primary school (Reception class) and there was there were a few areas that worried my sister. 
Some of the key points were that she struggles to interact during 'Circle Time'. She does not feel confident putting forth her own ideas but prefers the comfort of using 'friends ideas'. She finds using her imagination challenging and is more literal. And she is often distracted and reserved.  

Unfortunately this is the first time we've been made aware of the problems at school until now but we have noticed a lack of confidence on occasions at home.
Although nobody has mentioned or read the report to her she cried when she got to school yesterday saying that she was scared and didn't want to go in.  

My sister who works shifts as a nurse was very upset by this and is fretting over what she can do to put things right. My niece already attends swimming, gymnastics, various school clubs.  We've [she] replied asking for advice from the school but they haven't responded. She is currently above average for reading, writing and maths but we don't want her to be held back.

Hopefully Year 1 will be better but we just wondered if anyone had any experience or thoughts about such things?

**Edited**

Petriix

In Denmark they don't start school until age 7 and are widely regarded as having one of the best education systems in the world. Reception is largely for playing and getting used to being in school. At age 5 it's more about providing childcare so that parents can work than the academic abilities of the children.

Ensure that she is safe and happy by encouraging her and facilitating positive experiences. Try to help her form one or two close friendships. Don't worry at all about anything else to do with school.

thorsoak

She's five, for heavens' sake!   Let her be five - let her play with friends, hold back on some of the out of school clubs, let her play with her toys, let her make cakes with her mum and dad, let her uncle help her build a camp in the back garden - let her know how much she is loved, talk to her, ask her opinion on things, start a ridiculous story and encourage her to carry it on - she will develop at her own pace if she is above average in reading, maths and writing - what on earth do you expect?   Ease up on her - let her know that she is Superkid to you all x

Fireflyaway

My advice - don't pay it any attention! It's just observations and they all sound very normal for a 5 year old. Reception isn't really about academic achievement, more about learning to get along with others, follow instructions and introduce the basics of learning. The worst thing to do in my opinion is to convey any of this to the child. She has years of schooling left and needs to feel positive about it. If she feels inadequate or that she has let her family down that's going to make her nervous about school and she may be reluctant to go. Don't even mention the report to the child. It's for parents, not the kids. Unless they are 13 and giving the teacher attitude. Then they should definitely be told! 
My daughter had a very rough year 1. Reception was fine but year 1 she was reluctant to go into school and was actually a bit defiant when asked to do things. She just didn't like the teacher. I used to tell her every morning on the way to school 'good manners equals happy life'! Slowly she started to get better. Really I think she just lacked confidence. If something was hard she gave up. After many times of letting her know it's ok to make mistakes and its normal not to know the answer ( that's why you are at school) she improved. She tried and began to not be so critical of herself. 
I'd really lay on the praise. Stick up the nonsense pictures on the fridge and say how great the funny handwriting is! Use everyday opportunities to learn when she doesn't even realise. Can you count mummy out 5 carrots at the supermarket? What is the time please ? Also use grown up language. Don't dumb it down. Just explain what the words mean. Read books together. Count your steps when you walk along. All of these things build knowledge and when she does something at school that is familiar, she will feel more confident. 
My daughter didn't start noticeably improving until year 3. Seriously don't worry. The fact that she is well behaved and kind should also be celebrated. School is just one part of a person. Someone who comes out of school with straight A's but is obnoxious or has no common sense is going to struggle. I know someone who didn't even start school until she was 8 ( she lived overseas). She is now the most intelligent and kind person! The worst thing is to put expectations on a child (apart from manners and kindness). The best is to encourage and reward effort. 

Kim_kim

I’d echo the rest, so she’s literal & reserved. 

She’s not pushy and holds back and let’s others speak.
They aren’t necessarily faults.
My granddaughter is the youngest and smallest in her class, she’s not like my grandson.  She’s different, she’s her.
Im surprised as a nurse your sister is worrying, but I guess it’s hard to be objective when they are your own. 

pollypenny

I was expecting comments that she was a naughty girl. These are observations, rather than a negative report. Work on boosting her confidence, ask her opinion and listen patiently, encouraging her gently as she formulated her ideas. Use open questions. 

Chiefly, let her be 5.  

onwards&upwards

I agree, that's not a negative report.  Being more literal and less imaginative isn't wrong, its just how some people are.  

My advice would be to relax a bit on the after school activities.  Keep the swimming because that is an essential life skill, but unless the little girl absolutely loves them and would be upset to stop, then let the gymnastics and most of the after school stuff go.  Replace them with reading, craft, playing, baking etc. with mum, dad, uncle, grandparents.  

Maybe also look at something like rainbows that's all about fun and socialising with other kids her age without pressure. 

Is she's above average academically, that isn't a concern at all, the important thing is to boost the little girl's confidence and self esteem and that happens by spending quality time, not by throwing money at every club under the sun! 

goatfaced

She must be confident enough to give answers for them to know she is doing well academically.
 
I volunteered in reception class for a bit while my son was in reception (at a different school, I wasn't hovering over him) and some children are so confident, especially if they have older siblings, that they seem to 'rule' over the others in terms of being looked to for ideas. Others are more reserved. Sometimes they just like being at home or miss their nursery, they are still young. My son's class stayed together from reception to year 6 so parents got to know other people's kids and the less confident children gained confidence as they got older.  

Now mine is at high school he's in debate club with others who like him were silent in reception and now never shut up. Mine was also very literal with little imagination. So am I, but I manage to be an adult with a job. 

Madmel

Firstly, stop worrying.  Your niece sounds like a dream to me (teacher with 25+ years' experience).  This could have been my older DD's report from Reception.  She didn't like learning through play or anything in the EYFS.  She wanted to read, write and do sums.  She was (and still is) tiny & wore glasses, with a late July birthday.  I thought she would be a target for bullies.  Actually she sailed through school and is about to start her Masters year at Cambridge.  She had a wonderful teacher who realised she was "odd" and put her to work with the year above, also in that class when she was in Reception.  As she got older, her confidence grew and her sense of humour developed.  I don't think she has ever been bullied - she has a range of withering put-downs.

Thinking back, DD's reception report was quite disheartening.  I think in those days they had to use government EYFS tick-lists and they were general and vague, more of list of what she could/couldn't do.  Once she moved up the school, the reports became more personalised with targets for how to improve and celebrating what she could do.

A few weeks ago I wrote a long post on here to someone with a rising 5yo keen to get him into a grammar prep.  I included a long list of things he could do with his DC that had academic merit but were fun, bonding activities for both.  Please have a look, show your sister and tell her not to worry. Easier said than done.  Aforementioned DD has driven into the city to get her eyes tested & wants contact lenses - her choice but I am still concerned....!

gwynlas

Slow down in labelling things as problems or you will give her a comple. You do not mention siblings or cousins so I presume she is an only child. We all develop at different rates and she is doing more than enough with school and all other activities. She probably cried because she is the centre of attention of adult discussion/concern and she does not know wht to do to fix things. at least she has friends at school whose ideas she can put forward. 

pinkshoes

Adamc said:

Some of the key points were that she struggles to interact during 'Circle Time'. She does not feel confident putting forth her own ideas but prefers the comfort of using 'friends ideas'. She finds using her imagination challenging and is more literal. And she is often distracted and reserved.  

Your sister is totally over-thinking this!

Who cares?!?! She is FIVE!! I doubt many 5 year olds would be confident putting forward their own ideas, and there is nothing wrong with being quiet. I was VERY quiet at school but I'm certainly not shy and quiet now!!

Your sister needs to focus on having FUN with her daughter, not pushing her at school. Let her do the things she WANTS to do!