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Maternity leave present being brought by a non-mum

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Maternity leave present being brought by a non-mum

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keepcalmandstayoutofdebtkeepcalmandstayoutofdebt Forumite
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I don't really know the person I would like to buy for hugely well, I just would feel wrong not getting them anything at all to mark the occasion.
I did learn during these times there has been no real support/advise for first time mum's on breast feeding or the antenatal care so I was thinking of a self-help book to read as being neutral and baby connected - I was just wondering if there were any recommendations for latest reads?
I've learnt they have lots of baby clothes.
Would a bunch of flowers be best? (as that requires less handling in these times of covid19) 
Thanks so much for any ideas or recommendations as I've no idea.



Replies

  • SocajamSocajam Forumite
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    I would give them the cash towards starting a college fund or savings account.
  • annabanana82annabanana82 Forumite
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    Personally I'd buy something for the Mum, mums to be are swamped with things for the baby, get her something to pamper herself to either before or after the baby is born. I've got vouchers for a manicure or facial in the past but might not be advisable at this time??
  • EmmiaEmmia Forumite
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    Breastfeeding (and the choice/ability to / not to) can be a bit contentious, so I'd avoid that stuff.

    I'd also avoid books on antenatal care (they've probably already bought and read them). I'd go with something to allow the mum to treat herself - which might end up being posh bath stuff as that avoids the current problems of manicure/spa vouchers. 
  • keepcalmandstayoutofdebtkeepcalmandstayoutofdebt Forumite
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    Thanks for for the lovely ideas, much appreciated. x


  • SadieOSadieO Forumite
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    Your subject line reminded me of going shopping once with a colleague, for another colleague's maternity present. I was about 24, no kids and few friends with kids. The lady I was shopping with was in her 40s and had a son. 
    Me: "I have no idea what babies need! When you had your son, is there anything you wished you had, that would have been useful?"
    Her: "His father"  :#
    Seconding the idea to get something nice for the mum, or vouchers so they can assess what they need (you never know what you are going to end up with tons of) or baby clothes for a later age once they have grown out of all the newborn stuff. Personally I find flowers as a gift a bit pointless - I think of them as a waste of money, yes they are pretty but they just sit in a vase for a few days and then go in the bin! But obviously plenty of people love them so that's just me! In the past I have sent gift vouchers for food delivery (eg Pizza Hut) to friends who have had babies and live far away from me. My reasoning being that if they lived near me I would take them a meal round for a night that they are too tired to cook, so this is the long-distance version!
  • Savvy_SueSavvy_Sue Forumite
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    SadieO said:
    Personally I find flowers as a gift a bit pointless - I think of them as a waste of money, yes they are pretty but they just sit in a vase for a few days and then go in the bin! But obviously plenty of people love them so that's just me! In the past I have sent gift vouchers for food delivery (eg Pizza Hut) to friends who have had babies and live far away from me. My reasoning being that if they lived near me I would take them a meal round for a night that they are too tired to cook, so this is the long-distance version!
    The other thing about flowers is that I have occasionally felt, when presented with a bunch, "oh no, that's another job I've got to deal with on an already busy night, cutting the ends of their stalks off, finding a vase and 'arranging' them."  So if you DO go for flowers AFTER baby has arrived, I'd strongly recommend an arrangement which is already in water. Or an indestructible plant. 

    Rather than Pizza Hut, Cook vouchers might be worth considering. You can get meals with one or two servings, stick them in the freezer, serve as needed, and a cut above supermarket ready meals. 
    Still knitting!
    Completed: TWO adult cardigans, 3 baby jumpers, 3 shawls, 1 sweat band, 3 pairs baby bootees, 2 sets of handwarmers, 1 Wise Man Knitivity figure + 1 sheep, 2 pairs socks, 3 balaclavas, multiple hats and poppies, 3 peony flowers, 4 butterflies ...
    Current projects: pink balaclava (for myself), seaman's hat, about to start another cardigan!
  • EmmiaEmmia Forumite
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    SadieO said:
    Your subject line reminded me of going shopping once with a colleague, for another colleague's maternity present. I was about 24, no kids and few friends with kids. The lady I was shopping with was in her 40s and had a son. 
    Me: "I have no idea what babies need! When you had your son, is there anything you wished you had, that would have been useful?"
    Her: "His father"  :#
    Seconding the idea to get something nice for the mum, or vouchers so they can assess what they need (you never know what you are going to end up with tons of) or baby clothes for a later age once they have grown out of all the newborn stuff. Personally I find flowers as a gift a bit pointless - I think of them as a waste of money, yes they are pretty but they just sit in a vase for a few days and then go in the bin! But obviously plenty of people love them so that's just me! In the past I have sent gift vouchers for food delivery (eg Pizza Hut) to friends who have had babies and live far away from me. My reasoning being that if they lived near me I would take them a meal round for a night that they are too tired to cook, so this is the long-distance version!
    Also, if you don't have a car, (and they aren't delivered to your home) transporting flowers home is a nightmare - I got a massive bouquet from my boss just before I got married, presented to me at work... By he time I'd got home via the (rush hour) tube they were utterly destroyed... a bottle of champagne would have cost the same, and have been much easier/safer to transport.
  • thorsoakthorsoak Forumite
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    What about "pamper" voucher(s) so that mum to be can choose either to have some pampering before - or after the birth.    If you do this, make sure that you buy with an open end date!

  • FireflyawayFireflyaway Forumite
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    I definitely agree with annabanana82.  Everyone thinks of the baby but not the mum. Going through labour and birth is tiring and can be quite traumatic sometimes! I really appreciated the nice set of shower gel and body cream I received. Flowers are nice but they soon die. Everyone will probably get baby clothes and a book although thoughtful might be a bit boring? Most people probably Google what they need to know. 
  • keepcalmandstayoutofdebtkeepcalmandstayoutofdebt Forumite
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    Thank you for all the help and suggestions.
    Update: Went off book idea Monday, flowers I've decided to arrange after baby is born.
    Ended up getting a spa gift set for mum-to-be and a 7-day planner thing which managed to get pre-wrapped in cellophane.
    Much better then the boss's idea of bottle of champers for the non-alcoholic drinker though I got them to sign the card which was quite a big step. 
    We're just having some mini cup cakes.
    Thank you again, I am glad we could get her something and it's gone alright, all's well that ends well x


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