Positive stories about debt and improving self-esteem 30 June 2020 at 9:29PM in Debt-Free Wannabe 36 replies 1.8K views

seventh88

Hello everyone,

I did a quick search of the forum for 'debt and self-esteem' and 'money and self-worth' but couldn't what I was looking for...

...I'm looking for success stories. Anything positive around how you improved your self-esteem while you were in debt, accepted yourself and reminded yourself that money isn't the whole of who you are. What helped you?

CreditCardJunkie

Honestly I have been so freed after paying off my personal credit card debt.i no longer have to turn down plans, have had the flexibility and confidence (and capital) to start my own business whilst working part time. Hope you find what you're looking for!

MrGorsky

I found that free activities that I didn't have time for, are just as, if not more rewarding than costly ones I previously did. Plodging in the sea on a sunny day with the kids, learning to play the guitar (with youtube), gardening and encouraging wildlife, home schooling the kids due to Covid ..... it's so rewarding, and enriching. Much better than going to the pub, going to the cinema, eating out etc.

I'm still in loads of debt, and now get a buzz everytime I pay a bit off ... its like a new hobby all in itself ... try to see the debt puzzle as a game and a challenge, make the debt free journey rewarding in itself.

Candy0107

I had a lot of debt in my 20's and paid it off with advice here and using Stepchange to learn how to budget.
It seems strange saying this now, but it was probably the best thing to happen to me so young.  I now budget, manage my credit and have developed a healthy relationship with cash.  I work in finance, and I say with pride how much debt I cleared (work know the back story of why I ended up in debt).
I'm now saving to pay off my car loan, then saving for a house deposit 

sharpe106

I would think quite a lot of the diary's fall under the category you are looking for. Although doubt they will show up with your search terms. Also helpful to see how others did it. 

-taff

https://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/discussion/291326/the-debt-free-roll-of-honour#latest

RyanHello

I felt like I was drowning in debt a few years ago. A lot of sleepless nights, stress, no appetite. Then I thought "you know what, this isn't worth it" .. Next month I decided to put ALL disposable income to pay for the credit card debt. I knew it would take me exactly 1 year to pay off my debt if I paid xxx amount per month.

Then one year came and eventually I paid it all off. I literally felt the weight come off my shoulders. Felt a lot more positive.

Ever since then, my relationship with money has changed for the better. Now I save a % for emergencies each month, invest monthly and live below my means. I cut up all my credit cards, don't use them anymore... I still treat myself occasionally, but everything is within or below my means.

 The best thing to come out of it is , i'm a lot more confident in myself. Having crippling debt and how to manage it is very hard. But you can put a plan together that works for you and in no time you're debts shrink.

I heard a good money quote.. "You must gain control over your money or the lack of it will forever control you."

Keep saving!

helensbiggestfan

Well I like to think of myself as a success" story.😁.  Thanks to finding  MSE and learning from all the lovely helpful people on these boards.   

10 years ago I was in a mess, staring into the abyss, and not knowing which way to turn.  I feared I might have to file for bankruptcy and lose my home. But I decided that instead of giving up I would rise to the challenge.  Now I'm happily solvent, I sleep well and enjoy my life. I live simply but well.  

And yes, my money mindset is completely changed.  Life is good now that I'm no longer drowning in debt.  

seventh88 you can do it......it might take a while but just stick with it and you will come out the other end.  Hang around these boards and learn from the advice and help from people here. Keep reading, keep posting.  Don't feel sorry for yourself.....accept the challenge, break it down into achievable targets and set yourself mini goals.  Treat it as a game, always pushing yourself a little bit harder and paying it all off bit by bit.  Celebrate your little successes with a small free or affordable treat and just keep going.  

Naomim

sharpe106 said:

I would think quite a lot of the diary's fall under the category you are looking for. Although doubt they will show up with your search terms. Also helpful to see how others did it. 

I agree, read any of the diaries and you will generally see them start with anxious people wondering what to do and how to carry on, eventually there's a change and usually for the positive.   

The best advice is keep reading the boards, keep posting.

Naomim 

Fireflyaway

I had so many debts I didn't know where to start but once I tackled one small debt it made me believe in myself and I knew it was possible. The main thing is being happy with what you have. Running water, a toilet, clothes, food, being able to vote, work and access education and healthcare. So many people in the world can only dream of having these things. Possessions don't make you a good person. Many people are in debt just to show off to other people. Importantly, credit scores! I stopped caring! A good credit score is not a sign of success or wealth. You could be a millionaire and not have one. Id rather have a poor credit score and £1000 in my pocket than a good credit score and owe £1000 to the bank. 

ryanm8655

A few things I’ve learned so far:

1) Keep it fresh.

I like to set myself mini challenges alongside the longer term goals. This makes it fun to clear your debt, break it down into smaller goals on a month by month basis, whether that getting rid of a card or a certain amount of balance. I had a medium term aim of getting my debt onto 0%, while also having short term goals to clear smaller balances. Now all my debt is on 0% I’m playing a game of beating the offer end dates and getting rid of the smaller cards month by month. Snowball/avalanche method can also help make it a game. I’m always looking for ways to keep the debt clearing fresh and interesting. This month I’ve had a bit of a clear out and sold a few items I don’t need. 

2) Spreadsheets.

They’re really useful for exploring how things could look in the future and I find it motivating looking forward by setting out my debt on a month by month basis to check the impact overtime of meeting a particular payment target. It also gives you something to do in those lulls until payday, where boredom can lead to a temptation to splurge. It can also help keep things fresh and maintain your focus.

3) Have a longterm goal beyond the debt.

My mentality really shifted after a few months of clearing debt and realising I could realistically afford a house in the longterm. Before that it was feeling a bit of a slog (0% offers also helped when they came as suddenly I was making a bigger dent). I then started a LISA and, while I only put in £5/week at the moment, it has giving me a more longterm goal and some kind of light at the end of the tunnel beyond just being debt free. Previously it was feeling like it was all one big punishment for my financial foolishness where as having a house in mind also added some positivity and made it clearer in my mind what the debt clearance is all about. I’m now thinking about the trade off between clearing debts and savings, which helps keep me interested. It could also be something like a career goal, work towards that promotion you’ve always been too scared to go for.

4) Diary.

This has been a massive help. It adds a bit of accountability as well as getting words of motivation and support from others.

5) Reflect.

I recently reached the sub £15k milestone and it was a real eye opener to how far I’d come as a person when I thought back to the last time I was in debt. Likewise, I’ll sometimes read my diary back and when reading I remember exactly where I was mentally at that time and it amazes me how much has changed in such a short space of time. 

While I’m really happy with my progress on the debt front, I’m even more impressed with my change in mentality towards money and life. Yes, I want a nice lifestyle but that’s given me a renewed drive to push myself in my career to achieve those things, rather than borrow that lifestyle. 

I had a pretty chaotic upbringing so have never been the most structured person but I have seen the benefits a bit of structure can give in terms of mental health. I’ll still be spontaneous but will have a budget for it in future...