Venturing out into the wider world again

Primrose

Who feels nervous or not quite ready to venture out regularly into the wider world again?  The older generation are supposed to be the ones with the cash to get the economy moving again but after three months of self isolation I sense a general nervousness from  many people about rushing out to take advantage of new freedoms to  get the economy moving again.  Apart from the anxiety of circulating more freely, I also suspect that  people who have savings are reserving  them for potential harder times to come.  

rach_k

I'm not ready to go out yet.  It still feels too early to go out for non-essentials.  I haven't even been out for essentials as there have been plenty of delivery slots where I live.  Perhaps that increases my sense that it's too early, as I've only actually been out to the pharmacy once since all this started!  I'm not scared, but I feel like there is still risk and the available space on the street should be left clear for those who need to be out.  As we don't, we won't!  

annieb64

We're  not shielding but apart from a weekly trip to the supermarket we haven't  been out  into town. We do a three mile walk every weekday  morning and a longer one on Saturday and have really settled  into a nice routine. I feel we should go out before we become too insular but we are not great pub goers and I've  never been a great one for just wandering around the shops.

[Deleted User]

We're not changing anything soon, we've the underlying health issues that meant lock down was necessary and I can't see what's actually changed since March that makes it safe now to go forth and mingle, albeit with caution.  We're happy with what life has become for us, we've got a comfortable and sustainable routine which keeps us busy and content, we see the family at a distance once most weeks but DD shares babys bathtime with us every night on face time over the phone  and we get to chat and interact with baby too as bedtime routine goes ahead and say night night when the light goes off so other than missing cuddles we're perfectly OK. We walk every day, we garden and I'm really enjoying making the food go that bit further and not wasting anything.  I think we're just Darby and Joan all over again and settled into a slower quieter life as we age. Domestic contentment and no hankerings for going out and socialising again of any kind.

Primrose

It,s interesting to read your replies.  I sense that three months of reflection has meant that people have come to evaluate the influences In their lives which matter most and it may take a while for social habits to change again.  

 I think for the older age group there are more people out there with underlying health issues than we perhaps realise and I wonder how the NHS is going to cope with them all adequately going forward.   Our NHS dentist has already signalled that changes will have to be afoot because practices can't survive  economically when  treatment rooms have to be left empty for an hour between patients to allow potential infected airborne particles to settle. 

LameWolf

I'd like to approach this from a slightly different angle. I have severe social phobia, and pre-Covid19, I would force myself to interact with people - eg the assistants in shops I needed to use, the pharmacist, and so on, so that I stayed in practise. Since lockdown, my husband has been doing the grocery shopping, as it's easier for him to go alone than mess about with my wheelchair, and I am now totally out of practise at interacting with others. Thus, I am dreading having to do it again, but not from particular fear of Covid19, just from fear that I won't cope, and will have a panic attack or something equally embarrassing.

missychrissy

I’ve really enjoyed lockdown. I normally babysit some of my 9 grandchildren weekdays and then weekends are first come first served. I’ve discovered what retirement should be like. I’m enjoying more time gardening, walking my dog, have taken up wine making again after a 2 to 3 year gap. I don’t want to go back to dashing around, doing the school runs, trying to feed fussy children (mine weren’t) etc. I have kept in touch with family on messenger and had a couple of socially distancing walks but I want my life back.
I feel selfish, especially as I am the only grandparent to some of my grandchildren.  I know my dog is missing the children. She was ecstatic when we did meet up, no socially distancing for her of course. She has gone babysitting with me since she was a puppy. I’m happy to babysit occasionally but don’t want to go back to the stress of regular childcare. I haven’t been asked yet to babysit and I haven’t broached the subject. One of my daughter’s in law is a beauty therapist so she isn’t allowed back yet. Her husband works in Egypt, normally 4 weeks there then 4 weeks home. He has been working from home lately since he finally managed to get home from Egypt about 2 weeks after lockdown started. I normally babysit for them 2 days a week but they won’t need me until he goes back to Egypt. My other son for whom I babysit is working full time as he’s a GP and his wife is working from home (solicitor) so I’m not needed there yet. I’d appreciate your thoughts.

monnagran

missychrissie, I'm with you all the way.  l only have one grandchild of babysittable age now.  When the others were young I made it clear to my children that, while I was always there in an emergency and would always babysit on the odd occasion that they wanted to go out on their own, I finished bringing up children when they became adult and my job was done.  They completely understood and never pushed me.   In fact I had a lot to do with my grandchildren, but it was my choice.

I agree that I'm loving lockdown.  Not that it scares me to go out and about, but I love the fact that I never have to be anywhere at a certain time and if I feel like staying bed all day nobody will know except me.  I've not done that yet, but it's still an option.
I've loved my own company and the freedom to sit and think, or just to sit.  I've read books, listened to music, done some crafting, done some writing, chatted to friends on the phone..............after a pretty action-packed life, it's bliss.
In future I will be very careful what I take on once any sort of life starts up again.

snowbird20

missychrissy, it's ok to be selfish!  if you don't take care of you, who will?   'retire' from babysitting and enjoy your golden years.  

wondercollie

@missychrissy:  a GP and a solicitor can afford childcare!  
I'm all for grandparents being willing to step in for an emergency but not regular childcare.

It's time to put yourself first.

Floss

MissyChrissy, my parents told me when I was pregnant with DS1 in 1985 that as they were still working, their babysitting would be offered and was not to be assumed...my ex-in-laws however took on all the childcare so I could return to work but had no retirement together, going from work to babies & toddlers to after-school care until my boys were at high school. Childcare wasn't as available as now, and to be fair I worked contracts while the boys' dad was at uni so we couldn't afford nursery or childminders, & he had all of his uni holidays off with the boys while I worked. Is there a particular reason why there may be an expectation of resuming duties...maybe working hours outside of nursery hours or high housing costs?