Marriage counselling experiences

Fireflyaway

Thanks everyone. That's ok sweetsand, I know you were just sharing an experience. 
Yeah, maybe my relationship aside, I could benefit from some guidance. I have to admit my way of viewing things and being stubborn does make it hard to compromise. I also find it hard to know if I am doing the 'right thing' which makes me very indecisive. I have Aspergers and it does make me look at things differently. 

[Deleted User]

You sound a bit like me firefly.., I have aspergers too and was 14 years in a relationship that wasn't good.  Yep, one of the reasons it lasted so long was because I doubted my memories and right to say 'this isn't a good way to treat me' (I'd feel guilty).  Mind you there was some gas lighting going on.  It just got worse and worse and now I am single, I am much healthier.

You don't have to go to a counselling saying I want to cure x y and z.., you just have to want to learn how your mind works and if there are skills, different ways of dealing with things that would improve your life.  Until both of you have made some changes, your marriage will be a rehash of what has already happened.  One doing it won't help.  You need to as well.

You can do this, you have thought about it and obviously know there are areas that could be changed.  You can be referred to a free six week counselling service either through ringing MIND (your local one, but start by ringing their central number) or through your GP.  You will need your NHS number.  This will help you decide if you can get anything out of counselling and what you might want to look at.

pollypenny

Fireflyaway, it seems to me that you are using this forum as your counsellor. You've poured your heart out on a number of things, generally to an understanding readership, but you would be better going to a professional.